Where cross the lines of forty north
And fifty-fourteen west
There rolls a wild and greedy sea
With death upon its crest.
No stone or wreath from human hands
Will ever mark the spot
Where fifteen hundred men went down,
But Manhood perished not.
Old Ocean takes but little heed
Of human tears or woe.
No shafts adorn the ocean graves,
Nor weeping willows grow.
Nor is there need of marble slab
To keep in mind the spot
Where noble men went down to death,
But Manhood perished not!
Those men who looked on death and smiled,
And trod the crumbling deck,
Have saved much more than precious lives
From out that awful wreck.
Though countless joys and hopes and fears
Were shattered at a breath,
‘Tis something that the name of Man
Did not go down to death.
‘Tis not an easy thing to die,
E’en in the open air,
Twelve hundred miles from home and friends,
In a shroud of black despair.
A wreath to crown the brow of man,
And hide a former blot
Will ever blossom o’er the waves
Where Manhood perished not.
– “Where Manhood Perished Not”, a poem about the Titanic by Harvey F. Thew (1883-1946)
Manhood is a virtue. It was manhood that caused the noble men on the Titanic to say, “women and children first”. It was manhood that compelled them to fearlessly face death in the icy waters of the Atlantic. It was manhood that made them choose the ill-fate of sacrifice over selfishness. Men are a remarkable lot, but this is too soon forgotten – by men and women alike – who have bought into the feminist narrative of this world. “Toxic Masculinity”, as the powers-that-be call it, is considered a blight on society and an enemy of humankind. I beg to differ. If masculinity is to blame for the ills of society, it is not the toxicity of said masculinity, but the absolute lack thereof. This world needs manhood.
The 17th of August will bring about another blessed wedding anniversary for my husband and me – and our anniversary month has given me the perfect excuse to express a counter-cultural admiration for my man’s “intoxicating masculinity”. This August installment of Destress the Damsel comes to you in the form of a “listicle”: 15 things I love about my man.
“Um, what can a brag session like that possibly teach me?!” you might be asking.
Don’t worry; this isn’t your normal run-of-the-mill brag session (though I don’t need much prodding to brag about my hubby). Rather, my hope for all wives reading this list is that they are inspired to recognize and celebrate at least some of the following qualities in their own husbands. Ladies: if you are willing to look at your man with eyes of love, you are sure to find some quality to appreciate in him.
A man has many parts, he is virtually everything, and you are free to select in him that part which pleases you.
– Saint-Exupéray, The Wisdom of the Sands (1948)
Genuine appreciation is one of the most beautiful qualities of femininity – it will both aid your husband’s attraction for you, and make you a more joyful woman. Allow me to guide your thoughts toward your own husband as I brag on mine. Here are 5 things I love about…
I Love His Strength. My feminine psyche is intrigued by the fact that my husband could pick me up and throw me like a sack of potatoes if he wanted to. His muscles are specially designed for strenuous labor. He can lift objects that are too heavy for my girlish frame, he can open any jar without breaking a sweat, and his physical endurance will outlast me every time. His masculine strength is intoxicating.
Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. – Proverbs 14:4
I Love His Size. When my husband holds me, I feel safe and secure in his protective arms. His size is superior to me in every way. He’s taller, broader; he has larger hands, larger arms, etc. He can fend off enemies far better than I ever could, and it is comforting to know that I have a man watching guard over me day and night. His masculine size is intoxicating.
Until we all attain…to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. – Excerpt from Ephesians 4:11
I Love His Skin. There is no small difference between my skin and my husband’s. My skin is fair, soft, covered in sparse and light hair, and I tend to be cold. His is tanned, work-roughened, covered in thick and dark hair, and he tends to be warm to the touch. His touch is every bit a man’s. His masculine skin is intoxicating.
His head is like gold, pure gold; his locks are like clusters of dates and black as a raven. – Song of Solomon 5:11
I Love His Sound. Did you know that men have larger voice boxes than women? Just another aspect of God’s perfect design that points to the headship of males in the church and in the home. My husband’s voice commands attention with depth, clarity, and a loud projection. And when he speaks softly, his deep, resonant tones lend to me feelings of security and stability. His masculine sound is intoxicating.
He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. – John 3:29
I Love His Seed. If this idea makes you blush, let’s have a chat. Every wife should know that loving a husband and loving his intimate parts cannot be separated. If you are a woman who ignores or even loathes her husband’s sexuality, you are missing out on a spectacular love that you could be sharing with your man. God’s design is amazing, including his design of the male physique. How could I resist desiring my man, when my body was literally designed to receive his body and join as one flesh? Furthermore, the fact that his body produces seed with the potential to create life inside of me takes my breath away. His masculine seed is intoxicating.
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. – Song of Solomon 2:3
I love my husband’s masculine soma. Here are 5 things I love about…
I Love His Smarts. If the kids and I can’t figure something out, what’s the first thing we do? Ask Dad. Generally speaking, men are experts at problem-solving, have great stores of practical know-how, and make excellent teachers…my man is no exception. Sometimes it seems that he knows the answer to any question: whether it’s a bible question, a question of life advice, a question on car trouble, or a question about a seemingly impossible math equation. His masculine smarts are intoxicating.
Wise men store up knowledge… – Proverbs 10:13a
I Love His Sense. My husband is cool and collected 99% of the time….more than I can say of myself. Admittedly, I let my feminine hormones get the better of me far more than I should. Thankfully, the Lord only made one gender that’s given to frequent mood swings! Men are more sensible by nature, and not as prone to let their emotions swing from one direction to the other. My husband’s calm balance and stable moods keep our home in harmony even when my moody attitude needs an adjustment. His masculine sense is intoxicating.
For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are of a sound mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us… – 2 Corinthians 5:13-14a
I Love His Skill. My husband is a preacher. Many people jest that a preaching career is only a “two hour a week job”, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The majority of his work is behind the scenes…laboring in his office to create lessons worthy of the Christian’s attention. He works steadily and faithfully through sickness, headache, or stress. Not only does he take his preaching career seriously, but he’s always willing to drop what he’s doing at a moment’s notice to help his father on the farm. My man works hard to provide for our family. His masculine skill is intoxicating.
Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. – Proverbs 22:29
I Love His Scope. My husband is not a gullible man. He is able to logically reason through all that is set before him: whether it be entertainment like books and movies, or media like political news or social platforms. He sees the big picture, and this equips him to form accurate assessments. He is not easily swayed by emotional persuasion, but looks at all angles before forming an opinion on a matter. His masculine scope is intoxicating.
The naïve believes everything, but the sensible man considers his steps. – Proverbs 14:15
I Love His Spine. Courage is an admirable trait in a man, and I am proud to say that my husband is no coward. He is not afraid to defend himself or his family when the need arises. He stands tall and self-assured in the face of opposition, and boldly carries the torch of truth. His masculine spine is intoxicating.
When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. – Luke 11:21
I love my husband’s masculine soul. Here are 5 things I love about…
I Love His Say. Submitting to my husband is liberating. With him calling the shots for our family, it takes the pressure off of me. Metaphorically speaking, he can drive the car and I can take the passenger’s seat. Being a passenger is not oppressive like some make it out to be. A passenger is free to enjoy the little things in life like beautiful scenery, free to focus on other tasks the driver delegates, free even to take a nap and relax at times! Even if he “makes a wrong turn” now and again, the burden will fall on his shoulders to “turn the car around”, as it were. I am thankful to have my man in the driver’s seat. His masculine say is intoxicating.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. – Ephesians 5:23
I Love His Search. My man is not content with “that’s the way I’ve always thought about this”, or “that’s the way I’ve always done that”. He is not afraid to say that he was wrong and change his mind on a matter. He is always rethinking his positions, making sure he has a solid foundation for his convictions, testing that our family is doing things the best way. He wants to be right before God. His masculine search is intoxicating.
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter. – Proverbs 25:2
I Love His Stance. When my husband has studied a matter out, and is convicted to respond to scripture in a certain way, he will not be easily swayed by emotional appeals to the contrary. Popular opinion will not affect his decisions for our family. He would rather be disliked, snubbed, and even ridiculed, than to lower his standards. His masculine stance is intoxicating.
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. – 1 Corinthians 16:13
I Love His Sage. If I have a bible question, I can guarantee that my husband will either a) know the answer, or b) help me to figure out the answer. He is well-learned in the scriptures and is gifted with discernment. I always come away from our bible discussions a little wiser, a little more convicted, even a little humbled at how much I have to learn to catch up to him! His masculine sage is intoxicating.
Wisdom strengthens a wise man more than ten rulers who are in a city. – Ecclesiastes 7:19
I Love His Seal. I am so thankful to have a husband who has been redeemed by God, and is on his way to Heaven. My man made the decision as a young man to enter into a covenant with God by believing the word when he heard it, and responding to that belief by confessing, repenting, and being baptized for the remission of his sins. Being equally yoked with my man is blessed assurance. When one of us dies, we know it’s not “goodbye” but merely, “see you later”. His masculine seal is intoxicating.
Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge. – 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
I love my husband’s masculine spirit.
The God-given masculinity of men is not toxic, but it sure is intoxicating! These are some of my favorite things about my man, but can you see any of these positive characteristics in your own?
Does he have a masculine soma with his strength, size, skin, sound, and seed?
Does he have a masculine soul with his smarts, sense, skill, scope, and spine?
Does he have a masculine spirit with his say, search, stance, sage, and seal?
Surely out of these 15 things you can find at least one thing to admire and praise in your man. When we look for the good in our husbands, we will find it. If we believe that our man is intoxicating, he will seem as transformed before our very eyes! Gratitude brings out the best in others, and it certainly brings out the best in ourselves. I urge you wives to love your husbands, and to laud their intoxicating masculinity.
What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!– Shakespeare, Hamlet (1600)
For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks
Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ minister’s wife and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.