“I was going to throw in the towel, but then I remembered how much laundry I already have.”

I’m not sure who coined this cheeky line, but it rings true for me, as it likely does with all homemakers. Unless you and your family happen to be members of a nudist colony, you probably have clothes piling up to be washed as we speak. (Although, I’m sure laundry piles up for the nudists too – in the form of sheets, towels, etc. – so wipe that silly grin off your face…nudism won’t help you escape from the laundry room!) Nudist jokes aside – laundry can be a never-ending source of stress for many women. The ever-flowing hampers, the ever-soiled garments, the ever-spinning washer, the ever-beeping dryer, the ever-strewn chairs, the ever-bursting closets, and the ever-cyclical nature of the task in general, all make laundry a commonly despised chore among wives and mothers. As the laundry mounts, so does the frustration and weariness. But is despising a chore a good use of energy? Will complaining about laundry piles help them to disappear? Since when has a negative attitude solved a problem? Daughters of God are called to be workers at home. Whenever we start to despise any aspect of that calling, a perspective shift is in order.

Let’s face it: laundry is a fact of life. The way I see it, we have three options by which to respond to that fact: We can either a.) quit our homemaking, and leave the laundry to someone else, b.) dread doing the laundry, and moan about it every day for the rest of our lives, or c.) tackle the laundry as cheerfully as we know how, and maybe even learn to take some delight in our accomplishments. Which will we choose?

For us damsels, Throwing in the Towel just isn’t an option. And we all know how God views grumbling and complaining. So, I guess we’re left choosing the high road: option C. Friend, are you ready to win the laundry battle once and for all? Today, I have 5 simple “rules” for you (we’ll call them battle strategies) that I hope will make your laundering duties 1.) easier, and 2.) more enjoyable. Firstly, we will consider…



Wash whites after each and every use…don’t put them back on the hanger until they are laundered.

Have you ever pulled a once bright, crisp, white garment out of your closet, only to find out it had deteriorated into a dull, dinghy, yellowed thing, stripped of its former glory? If so, it’s probably because you didn’t follow The White Rule. While some garments are fine to be placed back into the closet without laundering (any item that is free of sweat, dirt, stains, etc. is usually a fine candidate for a second wear) white clothes do not fall into this category. Even if a white garment looks and smells clean, oils from your skin will begin to yellow the item over time as it hangs in your closet. Save yourself the hassle of stain removal, and always put whites straight into the hamper after every use. Trying to minimize one piece of laundry now isn’t worth the risk of a big laundering headache later. You want to work smarter, not harder.

Now, what if you failed to follow The White Rule in the past, and have yellowed whites to contend with? Time to turn to your new best friends: water, hydrogen peroxide, and the sun. Don’t ask me to explain the science, but this high-powered combination works wonders at removing stains from white clothing. Grab a clear, plastic storage container, and submerge your white garment into a mixture of 75% water and 25% hydrogen peroxide. Cover with a clear lid or plastic wrap, and place outside on a sunny day. Leave the tub in direct sunlight for 4 or more hours…this will greatly reduce, or eliminate, the stains on your white items.

Christ Connection: And His garments became radiant and exceedingly white, as no launderer on earth can whiten them. – Mark 9:3

Don’t Throw in the Towel. Follow The White Rule, and win the laundry battle once and for all!

Secondly, we will consider…



Arrange your closet by the color wheel…don’t neglect to keep a system of organization.

If you want to make laundry fun (yes, it’s possible!) your closet ought to be a place of beauty and order. If your closet is unorganized and has no sense of logical arrangement, you’re not going to want to spend any time there. However, if your closet is organized and well-arranged, time spent inside will be a delight. I highly recommend following The ROYGBIV Rule: it’s as simple as hanging your items up in rainbow order (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet). You can bookend those colors by hanging your whites to the left of your ROYGBIV clothing, and hanging your browns, greys, and blacks to the right. As creatures made in the image of God, we are naturally attracted to beauty and order, and repulsed by ugliness and chaos. Arrange your closet in a beautiful, orderly way, and you’ll find yourself drawn within its four walls.

Now, what if you failed to follow The ROYGBIV Rule in the past, and need to reorganize your whole closet from ground zero? You’ll likely want to set aside a full morning or afternoon for this task. Once all of your clothing is organized, your job will be as simple as performing maintenance and upkeep. When you have “a place for everything, and everything in its place”, you’ll always know exactly where to return each item, ensuring that your closet continues to look picture-perfect and magazine-worthy each time you enter. You will admire your work every time you see that place of beauty, making laundry a lot more enjoyable.

Christ Connection: As the appearance of the rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. – Ezekiel 1:28a

Don’t Throw in the Towel. Follow The ROYGBIV Rule, and win the laundry battle once and for all!

Thirdly, we will consider…



Remove stains immediately upon notice…don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

There is a saying about fruit: “the longer it sits, the worser it gets“. The same can certainly be said of stains. The longer you wait to tend to a soiled garment, the more you run the risk of a stain setting permanently. The Brown Rule tells us it’s always best practice to stain-stick an item and get it into the wash right away. Of course, it’s not always convenient to wash a load of laundry at the exact moment a garment is spilled upon. If you’re out and about when the spill happens, don’t try to deal with the stain haphazardly. Wiping the spot with a napkin won’t do any good – that will only serve to smear the stain further. Better to leave the stain alone and tend to it properly once you get home. If you are at home but aren’t in a position to wash a full load of laundry right then and there, you can a.) run a tiny load for your one item, using only a smidgen of detergent, or b.) stain-stick the item in advance, throwing it into the hamper for a later wash.

Now, what if you failed to follow The Brown Rule in the past, and have stained clothing on your hands? Unfortunately, I have yet to find a way of removing stains that have “set”. If your garment has already been washed and dried without the stain coming out the first time, you might be out of luck. While minor stains can often be concealed, hopelessly stained items ought to be downgraded to underclothes, work clothes, children’s play clothes, or even rags for cleaning projects. Sometimes you must simply bite the bullet and throw a ruined item away, committing to tend to your stain removal more promptly next time.

Christ Connection: “Although you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your iniquity is before me,” declares the Lord God. – Jeremiah 2:22

Don’t Throw in the Towel. Follow The Brown Rule, and win the laundry battle once and for all!

Fourthly, we will consider…



Put each piece of laundry where it belongs…don’t allow yourself a “grey area”.

A leading cause of messiness in the home is laundry without a designated landing place. Clothing strewn all over chairs, tables, beds, or floors will make any living space look like it has been hit by a tornado. Such a sorry workstation can only make added laundry seem like more of a drudgery. If your home looks like a twister passed through, you probably haven’t been following The Grey Rule. One of the best homemaking tips I’ve ever learned is this: “never touch an item twice“. (For example, when you take off your clothes at night, don’t throw them on the floor – put them straight into the hamper or closet.) By putting each item where it goes immediately, you are only touching it once. In doing so, you are saving your valuable time and energy by eliminating the middle-man, A.K.A. the grey area, A.K.A. the floor. That’s a smooth move!

Now, what if you failed to follow The Grey Rule in the past, and your home looks like it has been through a natural disaster? First things first: tidy up the place by returning all your displaced laundry items to their appropriate spots. Don’t add newly washed laundry to the chaos; conquer one step at a time. Your mood will be positively impacted when you clean up before starting a new task. A tidy workstation is significant. Additionally, putting all your old laundry away will allow you to see how much room you have for putting away a fresh load. If you’re running out of space, that’s a good sign that you’re due for a clothing purge!

Christ Connection: No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment; otherwise he will both tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. – Luke 5:36b

Don’t Throw in the Towel. Follow The Grey Rule, and win the laundry battle once and for all!

Fifthly and lastly, we will consider…



Keep a standardized hanger collection…don’t collect a mish-mash.

Hangers have to be among the least exciting items one can buy. While hangers get the job done when it comes to hanging our clothes, the prospect of spending money on them doesn’t exactly thrill us. Most of us don’t ever even give our hangers a second thought, as is evidenced by the random array of hangers found in the average closet. Some hangers are black, some are white. Some hangers are plastic, some are metal. Some hangers are long, some are short. Some hangers are thick, some are thin. If you really want to take your laundry to the next level, I suggest following The Black Rule. (Black, plastic, long, thick hangers just so happen to be my personal preference, but any hangers will do as long as they’re all the same.) When all your hangers are consistent, your closet will be that much more beautiful and orderly.

Now, what if you failed to follow The Black Rule in the past, and your closet is currently filled with every kind of hanger under the sun? Well, what I don’t want you to do is go spend tons of money to replace all of your hangers. Beauty and order do not trump prudence, but each of these are important qualities for the homemaker. I suggest slowly replacing your hangers over time. Secondhand stores often sell hangers for extremely low prices, as do dollar stores, or garage sales. You can also work with what you have by matching your hanger colors to your clothing colors for a sense of uniformity – classic ROYGBIV style!

Christ Connection: All things must be done properly and in an orderly manner. – 1 Corinthians 14:40b

Don’t Throw in the Towel. Follow The Black Rule, and win the laundry battle once and for all!


In conclusion…

Do you ever feel like throwing in the towel when it comes to your laundry?

Hopefully the five tips we learned today will help make your laundering duties a little bit easier and a little more enjoyable.

Remember to…

Follow The White Rule: Wash whites after each and every use.
Follow The ROYGBIV Rule: Arrange your closet by the color wheel.
Follow The Brown Rule: Remove stains immediately upon notice.
Follow The Grey Rule: Put each piece of laundry where it belongs.
Follow The Black Rule: Keep a standardized hanger collection.

While none of these “rules” are moral laws, they are helpful battle strategies that can aid us in conforming more toward the image of Christ in our daily life. How so? Think about it:

Jesus is the master whitener. Jesus is the radiant rainbow. Jesus is the expert stain-remover. Jesus cleans up our old mess to make room for the new. Jesus brings beauty and order. Best of all: you’ll never catch Him throwing in the towel. I want to be just like Him, down to the way I do my laundry. What say you?

You can throw in the towel, or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face. – Unknown

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.


Visions of you still dance in my head
I remember all the things you said

You said you’d never let me down
But there lies my heart on the ground

Broken in pieces unable to fix
I knew loving you would be a risk

But I went ahead and took the chance
Thinking somehow we’d finish the dance

Through the years that laid ahead
But you loved somebody else instead

So please go and be with him
I know our future is very dim

I hope you’ll be happy the rest of your life
Does he know he’s getting a cheating wife?

– “A Cheating Wife” by Ray Hansell

Any man who has been the victim of an adulterous woman can surely relate to the heartache portrayed in this simple, yet evocative, poem. Being betrayed by a faithless spouse is arguably the most painful blow one can be dealt. A haunted memory, a broken trust, a shattered heart, a poignant regret, and a lingering bitterness…these are the sorry companions of a husband whose wife has been swept away in an affair.

An “affair“: this is what we call it when people engage in sex acts while one or more parties are bound to another by a marriage covenant. I don’t know about you, but to me, “having an affair” sounds just a bit too light and breezy for the gravity of the topic. I mean, are we talking about going on a vacation to the Bahamas? It’s such a watered-down, harmless-sounding term for one despicable sin: committing adultery.

In today’s article, we’re not talking about a light and breezy topic such as going on a vacation to the Bahamas, but rather, we’re talking about that treacherous act of committing adultery: A Sordid Affair.

The word sordid can be defined as something that is “morally ignoble or base; vile; meanly selfish, self-seeking, or mercenary; dirty or filthy; squalid, wretchedly poor and run-down; degraded; shameful”, and these are indeed appropriate ways to label adultery, decidedly the most heinous of all marital crimes.

At Destress the Damsel, one of our primary aims is “to be pure“. (Titus 2:5) Purity is often seen as solely a “single girl” topic, but interestingly enough, in Titus 2 it is not single girls, but wives that are called to purity. Marriage is not the end of a girl’s purity, but rather, the continuation thereof – for sex within the bounds of marriage is pure! As wives, we must safeguard this purity by honoring our wedding vows and fleeing from extramarital temptation. Lest your husband ever become the sad possessor of “a cheating wife”, like the man in the poem above, I want you to consider 3 sobering components of A Sordid Affair.

#1: Beware, for the act of adultery begins with…



A fanciful daydream. A longing glance. A coveted smile. A flirtatious remark. A meaningful touch. A destroyed message. A convincing lie. A racing heart. A secret rendezvous. A gnawing shame.
All things that are hidden. All trademark elements of A Sordid Hideaway.

Adulterers are (with little variance) sneaks. Only the most villainous of philanderers reveal their infidelities to the world. While there may be a select few truly amoral individuals who wear their extramarital affairs like a badge of honor, the typical person caught up in adultery keeps their sin close to the vest. Some are ashamed of their adultery, knowing their guilt before the Lord. Some are grieved by their adultery, fearful of breaking their spouse’s heart. Some are quite comfortable in their adultery, but wish only to avoid the consequences of being caught. Whatever the case, almost all adulterous relationships are fostered in secret. (Unfortunately, this forbidden fruit aspect only adds to the sex appeal.) One may successfully keep A Sordid Hideaway secret from spouse, family, congregation, friends, coworkers, and all the world, but if they think they can keep it hidden from God, they sorely underestimate the Hide-and-Seek-Champion:

Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the Lord, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say, “who sees us?” or “who knows us?” – Isaiah 29:15

Can a person hide himself in hiding places so that I do not see him?” declares the Lord. “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the Lord. – Jeremiah 23:24

…There is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. – Hebrews 4:13

Do not be so foolish as to think that the Lord does not see every impure daydream, every impure glance, and every impure touch. He sees every single act of betrayal towards one’s spouse. Unless “a cheating wife” repent, justice will be served, leaving A Sordid Hideaway a public place of shame exposed before all.

…There is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. – Luke 12:2-3

Have you been part of A Sordid Hideaway? Have you, as a married woman, nurtured romantic thoughts toward a man other than your husband? Or have you, as a single woman, nurtured romantic thoughts toward a man who is another woman’s husband? Have you shared secret glances, smiles, remarks, or touches that should only have been shared between spouses? Have you sent or received messages that were unbecoming of a married woman or to a married man? Have you lied to your husband about your feelings, intentions, or whereabouts? Has your heartbeat elevated over a man that is off-limits to you? Have you met with a man in private? Have you squashed down your shame when it reminded you of your vows, or his? These are deep waters no damsel should ever tread in…they can only lead to A Sordid Affair.

#2: Beware, for the act of adultery continues with…



Your husband’s kisses. Your husband’s embraces. Your husband’s sex. Your husband’s wants. Your husband’s needs. Your husband’s privacy. Your husband’s self-respect. Your husband’s love. Your husband’s lover. Your husband’s wife.
All things that are given. All trademark elements of A Sordid Giveaway.

Giving, generally speaking, is a wonderful thing. The Bible says that “God loves a cheerful giver“, and that “it is more blessed to give than to receive“. But is it ever wrong to give someone a gift? Sure it is – when you are giving not of your own means, but from goods you stole off of someone else! A thief who gives away their plunder knows nothing of true generosity, for they are giving what is not theirs to give. Do you see where I’m going with this? An adulterer and a thief have a lot in common…they “give” stolen goods. The married adulteress takes what rightfully belongs to her man, and “gives” it to another. Similarly, the single adulteress takes what rightfully belongs to another man’s wife, and “gives” it to herself. Whatever the case, such a woman robs a spouse of their most precious valuables, and frivolously gives them away to someone who has no right to receive such gifts. Is he married? His body belongs to his wife. Are you married? Your body belongs to your husband. When a married woman “gives” herself to another man, or when a married man “gives” himself to another woman, this is nothing short of theft. We are not our own.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. – 1 Corinthians 7:4

For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living, she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress, though she is joined to another man. – Romans 7:2-3

Do not give what is holy [set apart] to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. – Matthew 7:6 (clarification added)

Lest you think my comparison of adultery and theft is a bit of a stretch, consider that our Lord couples the sin of adultery with the sin of murder

Thus I shall judge you, like women who commit adultery or shed blood are judged; and I shall bring on you the blood of wrath and jealousy. – Ezekiel 16:38

Have you been part of A Sordid Giveaway? Have you, as a married woman, kissed, embraced, or had sex with a man other than your husband? Or have you, as a single woman, kissed, embraced, or had sex with a man who is another woman’s husband? Have you disregarded your husband’s wants and needs, or the wants and needs of another man’s wife? Have you stripped away the privacy of marriage and exposed what should have been exclusive between spouses? Have you shattered a spouse’s self-respect? Have you given away your husband’s love, lover, and wife? Or have you taken another woman’s love, lover, and husband? These are deep waters no damsel should ever tread in…they can only lead to A Sordid Affair.

#3: Beware, for the act of adultery ends with…



An irreproachable reputation. An unwavering trust. An unbreakable vow. An untainted marriage. An intact family. A sensitive conscience. A healthy reproductive system. An innocent recollection. A desired relationship. A secure salvation.
All things that are taken. All trademark elements of A Sordid Takeaway.

Adulterers are losers. (I don’t mean that in the derogatory sense of the word, though any victim of adultery would likely agree with me if I did, and could you blame them?) By “losers”, I mean to say that those individuals who play with fire (by way of adultery) stand to lose everything they hold dear. When the sin of an adulteress is found out, her once irreproachable reputation will be tarnished forever…for even if she be forgiven, people will never fully forget what she did. There will no longer be an unwavering trust between her and her husband…for in the back of his mind, he will always wonder if she’s being unfaithful to him. Her once unbreakable vows will be rendered null and void, allowing her husband the scriptural right to file for divorce…for she broke covenant with him. If her husband decides to stay with her, their formerly untainted marriage will always bear an ugly stain…for she defiled their marital union. If her husband decides to leave her, their children will suffer immeasurably for it…for they will be part of a broken family. Her once sensitive conscience will be dulled toward sin…for she seared it by her devious actions. The health of her reproductive system (and her husband’s) will be greatly compromised…for she introduced the risk of sexually transmitted disease to their marriage bed. Her innocent life memories will be bitter in hindsight…for her recollections will forever include her time spent in adultery. If she chooses to repent, she will lose a desired relationship…for she must say goodbye to her lover. If she chooses never to repent, she will lose her salvation…for she must say goodbye to her Lord. What A (truly) Sordid Affair!

She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it. – Proverbs 5:6

Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor adulterers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. – Excerpt from 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality. Behold, I will cast her upon a bed of sickness, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of her deeds. – Revelation 2:21-22

Have you been part of A Sordid Takeaway? Have you suffered great personal loss as a consequence of committing adultery? Don’t let your pain be in vain. Rather, let the Lord’s chastisement fulfill its intended purpose – bringing you to repentance. Turn away from your sin today, so that you do not end up losing the most important thing of all: your eternal hope in Christ Jesus. The time is now to step out of those deep, dark waters that no damsel should ever tread in…the waters that can only lead to A Sordid Affair.

…Let her put away her harlotry from her face and her adultery from between her breasts, or I will strip her naked and expose her as on the day she was born. I will also make her like a wilderness, make her like desert land and slay her with thirst. Also, I will have no compassion on her children, because they are children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has acted shamefully. For she said, “I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.” Therefore, behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. – Hosea 2:2a-7a


In conclusion…

These have been the 3 sobering components of A Sordid Affair.

A “cheating wife” is made by: 1.) A Sordid Hideaway, 2.) A Sordid Giveaway, and 3.) A Sordid Takeaway.

Today’s article covered one very grave topic, but hey – I warned you it wouldn’t be a trip to the Bahamas! Thank you to everyone who stayed to the end of this important study, and I hope you will be sure and check out my other articles. There is a widespread blend of serious topics as well as more lighthearted content. May each one of you hold your marriage in the highest esteem, flee extramarital temptation, and stay faithful to your husband all the days of your life. No more hiding, no more giving, no more taking.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. – Hebrews 13:4

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.