Destress the Damsel

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. – Ecclesiastes 9:11

My dear friend and sister in Christ, Pat, often says, “we all take our turn.” That is exactly what the verse above is saying. We ought not to covet after those who appear to have more speed, strength, wisdom, understanding, skills, etc. than we do, for each and every one of us will have our time to shine. We all experience highs and lows, and you can wager that no matter how good “the other guy” seems to have it, he has his own unique set of problems that we don’t see on the surface.

That guy who has his gorgeous house paid off? Perhaps he’s working 60 hours a week just to scrape by and pay off his massive property tax. Maybe his wife and kids just wish that Daddy could spend more time at home instead of at the office. That lady who always brings the perfectly decorated cupcakes to the neighborhood fundraiser? Perhaps she botched up her first batch and then spent a half hour stewing over it while her kids avoided “poking the bear”. That man who has the most beautiful wife hanging on his arm? Perhaps at home she nags him mercilessly..berating him and critiquing his every move. That popular girl who draws the attention of every Tom, Dick, & Harry? Perhaps she cries in her room at night just wishing she could find her dream guy that isn’t so shallow and worldly.

Let’s face it, it’s highly unlikely that the small glimpse we see into another’s public life reveals their whole story. Before we are so quick to say “the grass is greener for the other guy”, let us wager his lows.

…He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. – Matthew 5:45b

If ever you are tempted to covet another person’s circumstances, you must…

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. – Hebrews 13:5

Now, let’s look at the other side of the coin. Let’s say you are right…the grass really is greener for the other guy. He has zero problems, a life of total ease, and everything he could possibly want. Now what? Would such a situation justify coveting? Absolutely not, because in so doing, we will have forgotten that God is the author of our blessings. To covet after another man’s lot is to wipe away the providential lot we have been given, and to selfishly reach for more than the Lord has allowed us to obtain presently.

Coveting is based on this faulty idea that we deserve to have someone else’s blessings. Yet, if we are being honest with ourselves, we will realize that we really don’t deserve anything in life. The difficult truth is this: the only thing we sinners “deserve” is Hell. If we have found salvation in Jesus Christ, we already have far more than what we deserve. When we stop looking at what we don’t have and start looking at what we do have – the amazing promise that God will never leave or forsake those who are committed to Him – we will count ourselves very blessed indeed. When covetous thoughts creep in, we need to whisper God’s love to ourselves and be reminded of how much we truly have from Him and in Him.

Furthermore, we need to whisper to ourselves of God’s love for “the other guy”. After all, is he not also a child of the Most High? Would we be so self-centered as to wish to deprive him of his God-given blessings? Rather, we are called to have true joy for the successes of others. Before we are so quick to say, “the grass is always greener for the other guy”, let us whisper God’s love.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice… – Romans 12:15a

If ever you are tempted to covet another person’s circumstances, you must…

And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door… – Genesis 4:6-7a

There is an anonymous phrase I see floating around on social media from time to time. It says something to this effect: “You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you would take the time to water your own grass, it would be just as green.” There are times where our “grass” (our life circumstance) becomes brown and lifeless, and it is entirely of our own doing. We may recognize that others seem to have it more together than we do, because, well…they do! Sometimes the successes of others can be wake-up calls for areas that need great improvement in our lives. It can be very painful to realize our shortcomings, but these realizations can provide much growth if we let them.

If we see someone that has a great deal more Bible knowledge than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should recognize that we are lagging behind in our own study and need to spend more time in God’s word. If we see someone who has a more glorious and loving marriage than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should try to emulate their example by molding more perfectly into the God-given roles for husbands and wives. If we see someone who has more well-behaved and respectful children than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should get more serious about our own call to train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Coveting is the lazy man’s way out of taking responsibility. It’s easy to blame our poor circumstances on sheer luck, when it may in fact be our own imperfections that are getting in the way of the more abundant life we could be living. Before we are so quick to say, “the grass is always greener for the other guy”, let us water our lawn.

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. – 1 Corinthians 9:24

In conclusion…

If ever you should find yourself overtaken by “Grass is Greener Syndrome”, call to mind these three covet-curbing tricks:

Wager His Lows
Whisper God’s Love
Water Your Lawn

And instead of focusing on the other fellow’s yard, remember what great things God is doing for yours…

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…” – Psalm 23:2a

For God’s Glory,
CA Bolks

Chelsea Bolks is a church of Christ minister’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa. 

“‘Why is a raven like a writing-desk?’

‘Come, we shall have some fun now!’ thought Alice. ‘I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles. – I believe I can guess that,’ she added aloud.

…

Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn’t much.”

– Excerpts taken from chapter 7 of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Such riddles as the one that The Mad Hatter posed to Alice in Lewis Carroll’s classic book may keep the mind reeling for days. ‘What on earth do ravens and writing-desks have in common?’, Carroll’s readers have wondered for decades. Today, I present my readers with a riddle of my own: What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity Have in Common? Here we have three seemingly unrelated topics, yet I propose that they have more in common than we might think.

You may be sick and tired of hearing about it: COVID 19. The globally infamous, hot-button, oft-debated topic of 2020. No matter what opinions you hold, no matter if you think Coronavirus is underrated or overrated, no matter if you are in your home or gallivanting around town, I guarantee COVID 19 has touched your life in some way, shape, or form. Even if you have escaped the virus, you have not escaped the effects of it. Therefore, I believe it is important to continue to glean whatever spiritual truths we can from this pandemic to further grow ourselves and our faith. Join me as I delve into 5 ways that Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity are alike.

Commonality #1: With all three, you must…

In Kindergarten, you must wash your hands. It’s very likely that in early elementary, your teacher stressed to you and your classmates the importance of being hygienic – which probably included a whole lot of hand washing. Maybe you sang “wash, wash, wash your hands” to the tune of “row, row, row your boat” as you and your pals scrubbed and sent the germs down the drain. As any teacher knows, a classroom full of children is ideal for spreading sickness like wildfire, and a good teacher will attempt to keep outbreaks to a minimum with good health practices.

During Coronavirus, you must wash your hands. You may find your memory once again being drawn back to those early childhood days of learning proper hand washing. We see it continually on the internet, hear it on the radio, and read it on business signage: “please wash your hands!” It may seem like common sense to keep one’s hands clean, but sadly not everyone is on the same page when it comes to hygiene. (If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone leave a public restroom after skipping the water and soap, I’d be rich. Eww. But, I digress…)

With Christianity, you must wash your hands. Psalm 24:3-4b says, “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands…” This may bring our mind back to the priests of the Old Testament who could only enter the tabernacle after washing (Exodus 30:20). As New Testament Christians, we are now part of God’s holy priesthood (1 Peter 2:5) and symbolically, we are to be “washed” in baptism before entering the Lord’s presence. (Acts 22:16)

Washing your hands isn’t only important in Kindergarten and during Coronavirus, but it is essential with Christianity!

What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity have in common? Commonality #2: With all three, you must…

In Kindergarten, you must follow your leader. You probably spent many a recess playing “Follow the Leader”: a simple game where one individual leads a line of people who mimic his every action. More importantly, though, you probably spent many a class period learning to “follow the leader”…that is, your teacher. School is not solely about education, but can also be a fruitful training ground to learn virtues such as obedience, adherence to rules, and an eagerness to please one’s superior.

During Coronavirus, you must follow your leader. From quarantine, to social distancing, to increased cleaning measures, there are many new guidelines coming at us daily from our White House. COVID 19 has forced many of us to reveal whether we will be rebellious or righteous in response to the guidelines of our governing authorities. Will we cheerfully submit to those who have the rule over us (the President, our governors, etc.)? Or will we do things our own way if we deem their mandates unreasonable?

With Christianity, you must follow your leader. This leader may differ from person to person, depending on gender, marital state, citizenship, etc. For example, if you are a married woman, your husband is your head…whereas if you are a single or married man, your head is Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3). A child within the home is under the authority of his or her parents (Ephesians 6:1), and a citizen of a nation is subject to the authorities of their land (1 Peter 2:13-14). Furthermore, Jesus our Lord says, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” (Mark 8:34, emphasis mine)

Following your leader isn’t only important in Kindergarten and during Coronavirus, but it is essential with Christianity!

What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity have in common? Commonality #3: With all three, you must…

In Kindergarten, you must cover your mouth. You probably heard it a time or two (hundred) from your teacher. An uncovered cough or sneeze can spread sickness and wreak havoc in a room full of youngsters. Your teachers probably encouraged you to keep those germs at bay by coughing/sneezing into your elbow or, at the least, a hand that would quickly be washed!

During Coronavirus, you must cover your mouth. It has been suggested (but not mandated) by health officials to wear a mask while in public to keep the germs of coughs and sneezes from projecting onto those around us (yuck!). If not wearing a mask, it is at least important to make sure that the germs are contained by completely covering your mouth. This seems like another “no-brainer”, but again, there are many who do not care to practice good hygiene, thus making the reminders necessary.

With Christianity, you must cover your mouth. Proverbs 30:32 admonishes, “If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” We must constantly evaluate if what is coming out of our mouths is Christlike, and if the answer is “no”, we must amend our speech. Are lies coming out (Proverbs 12:22)? I need to cover my mouth. Gossip (1 Timothy 5:13)? I need to cover it. Filthiness (Ephesians 5:4)? You guessed, it…my mouth needs covering. If bad things are flying out of my mouth, it’s a sign that I am “sick” and thus highly contagious to those around me.

Covering your mouth isn’t only important in Kindergarten and during Coronavirus, but it is essential with Christianity!

What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity have in common? Commonality #4: With all three, you must keep…

In Kindergarten, you must keep hands to yourself. (This is of course only required in certain situations.) There was always that one kid in school that was hitting, pinching, and punching; or taking things like crayons and toys from his classmates. The teacher probably reprimanded him, “keep your hands to yourself!” – because the bully was using his hands for harming and not for helping.

During Coronavirus, you must keep hands to yourself. Social distancing continues to be an important measure used to slow the spread of COVID 19. The White House guidelines indicate keeping six feet apart from those who are not of one’s household. Physical contact with those outside the family has been temporarily put on hold to minimize sickness and protect the vulnerable of our nation. Because our hands have the potential to bring harm, they must be kept to ourselves.

With Christianity, you must keep hands to yourself. 1 Timothy 5:22 warns, “Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure.” In other words, don’t be too quick to jump to judgmental conclusions about others…you end up bringing judgment upon yourself. Are we to take concerned action when we see a brother falling into sin? You bet…but not to the extent that we make ourselves judge over his life, critiquing his every motive and assuming the worst of him. Rather, we ought to judge righteous judgment that is not based on appearance (John 7:24), acting in a spirit of meekness when correction is necessary (Galatians 6:1), and leaving the rest up to God who is the ultimate judge of mankind (Romans 14:4).

Keeping hands to yourself isn’t only important in Kindergarten and during Coronavirus, but it is essential with Christianity!

What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity have in common? Commonality #5: With all three, you must…

In Kindergarten, you must stay with your group. Many children have curious tendencies that can get them into trouble…like wandering and getting separated from the rest of the field trip group and nearly giving the teacher a heart attack! This is why head counts are commonplace on group excursions, along with the dreaded “matching tee shirts”. It’s easy for a child to wander off and get lost in a crowd, so teachers must constantly remind their students to stick together.

During Coronavirus, you must stay with your group. In the early stages of quarantine, it was advised not to socialize with those outside of your immediate family to cut down on virus exposure. We were all urged to stay close to home and only go out for essentials such as groceries. Many were laid off work, and spending quality time at home with their families was a silver lining to the otherwise dark cloud hovering over America.

With Christianity, you must stay with your group. In our throw-away culture, it is becoming easier and easier for people to walk out on their church family without even a backwards glance. Hebrews 10:24-25 condemns this behavior: “…let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” Nobody has the perfect family, and nobody has the perfect church family. We all have idiosyncrasies that can get under each other’s skin…and unfortunately, sometimes blatant sin in our midst. Nonetheless, this should never cause us to abandon Christ’s church for which He died. Rather, we ought to practice patience, teaching one another (2 Timothy 2:24-26), bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and be tenderhearted and forgiving to each other (Ephesians 4:32). We can trust God to separate the wheat from the chaff in the end.

Staying with your group isn’t only important in Kindergarten and during Coronavirus, but it is essential with Christianity!

In conclusion…

What do Kindergarten, Coronavirus, and Christianity have in common? A whole lot! With all three, I must wash my hands, follow my leader, cover my mouth, keep hands to myself, and stay with my group. There is, however, a very notable difference between the three: while Kindergarten and Coronavirus are only temporary, our Christianity is eternal. Kindergarten and Coronavirus are here and then gone from our lives in the blink of an eye, but we are forever left with the spiritual lessons they pointed us to.

Oh, and about that riddle…

“”Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. 
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied, “What’s the answer?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.
“Nor I,” said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.””

– Excerpt taken from chapter 7 of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

May you find yourself faring better than Alice today, my friends.

For God’s glory,
CA Bolks

Chelsea Bolks is a church of Christ minister’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

“There was once a Countryman who possessed the most wonderful Goose you can imagine, for every day when he visited the nest, the Goose had laid a beautiful, glittering, golden egg.

The Countryman took the eggs to market and soon began to get rich. But it was not long before he grew impatient with the Goose because she gave him only a single golden egg a day. He was not getting rich fast enough.

Then one day, after he had finished counting his money, the idea came to him that he could get all the golden eggs at once by killing the Goose and cutting it open. But when the deed was done, not a single golden egg did he find, and his precious Goose was dead.”

Moral: Those who have plenty want more and so lose all they have.

– “The Goose and the Golden Egg”,  a fable of Aesop

I am doubtful if this is the first time you have heard this fable, but its message is so significant and timeless that it bears repeating. Greed is a thief that preys primarily on its very host. Greed promises to give, but only takes in the end. Greed is an ancient deceiver.

1 Timothy 6:10 is often misquoted to say that “money is the root of all evil”. Here is the actual passage, in full:

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Note that it is not money itself that is the root of all evil, but rather the love of money…A.K.A. greed. Now, what does it mean that the love of money is “the root of all evil”, anyway? Does it mean that if a man lusts after a woman, it stems from his love of racking up credit cards? Or that if a woman displays catty behavior towards someone, that it all goes back to her admiration for wads of cash? Of course the answer to both of these questions is no. The point the passage is conveying is not that “every kind of sin grows from greed”, but rather that “greed grows into every kind of sin”. The love of money has sent many a man to kill his companion, and sent many a woman into the arms of strange men. Money gained is often innocence lost, for greed always takes more than it gives.

As the scripture cited above warns, greed “pierces through with many sorrows”. Today we will discover just exactly what those sorrows are, and decide for ourselves whether or not they will be given any place in our lives. Sorrow #1 is that…

…Thou hast greedily gained of your neighbors by extortion, and hast forgotten me, saith the Lord God.
– Ezekiel 22:12

This truth is proved again and again in scripture: an over-attention toward wealth leads to an under-attention toward the Lord. As Jesus boldly stated in Luke 16:13, one can not be a servant of both God and money. We have to choose which we will be allegiant to.

Before we go any further, I want it to be clear that wealth is not a bad thing in and of itself. As was previously mentioned, it is not money (but rather the love thereof) that motivates one to sin. The Bible urges us to take heed that we do not trust in riches (Mark 10:23-25). Why? Riches come and go, but God remains. Our trust is safe and solid in the Lord, but unsure and temporal with money.

Now, in this world, it is nigh to impossible to function without currency. We need it for our basic needs such as food, water, and shelter; as well as for many wants and luxuries. In short, we all need money to get by. It is allowed and even expected by God that we will put our hand to the plow and make a living for ourselves in some way. But making a living and delving into greed are two very different things. Making a living is defined as “earning enough income to support oneself and, if applicable, one’s family.” Greed on the other hand, is defined as “an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food.”. The difference lies in the attitude and focus of the heart.

When one is filled with intense and selfish desire, it is impossible to be filled with God at the same time. God is love, and love “seeketh not her own” (see 1 Corinthians 13:5). God can not abide in a heart of greed and selfishness. When we are greedy, money (or other material items) become our obsession and focus. We no longer seek after God, because our desire is in another direction.

Practically speaking, how can I keep greed out of my faith? By constantly and honestly checking my focus. Is my focus on God, or greed? The Master, or the money? Am I more interested in my eBay or my eBible? Making a buck, or making a breakthrough? Cash or Christ? This is what it boils down to: who do I love and serve? If I’m more concerned about my pocketbook than my piety, I’ve got one pricey problem.

Greed denies your Father. This is the gravity of greed. Sorrow #2 is that…

He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live. – Proverbs 15:27

I am reminded of a short story I have read about a father and his son. One day, a son asked his father how much money was paid hourly at the father’s job. At first the father told the son it was none of his business, but after a bit of persuasion he relented. “$100”, came the reply. Immediately upon hearing this, the son asked his father if he might borrow $50. The father became furious…after all, the son had only been asking about the wages out of selfish motives! The father ordered the little boy to go to his room and think about his rude behavior. After a while, the man calmed down. He realized that his boy had never really asked for money before, so perhaps there was something very important he wanted to purchase. He knocked on his son’s door and apologized for being so harsh previously. He explained that he had a change of mind and decided that he would in fact lend the $50 that was requested. The boy was elated…he immediately reached under his pillow, pulled out some crumpled up bills, and began counting his stash. Upon seeing this, the father began to get angry again: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?!”. The son replied, “because I didn’t have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $100 now…can I buy an hour of your time?”

This touching story ought to hit close to home for those who have a hard time balancing family and money. It should be a blessing to provide financially for one’s own. 1 Timothy 5:8 says that “if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel“! Money can in many ways build up a family, but it can also tear one apart at the seams. Provision is one thing…neglect is another; we must (again) be careful to check our focus and motives.

Being “greedy of gain“, as Proverbs 15:27 puts it, is what will ultimately “trouble our house“. It’s not the making of money that wounds the family unit, but the “more, more, more” mentality. While we may gain monetarily, we end up losing what’s really important. Just as we formerly discussed how one can not serve both God and money, one also can not be devoted to both their family and the “almighty dollar”. One will always take precedence, while the other takes a backseat. Who will win out in your life…the spouse and kids, or a stack of “Benjamins”? Heed the wisdom of Proverbs 23:4a: “labour not to be rich.”

Practically speaking, how can I keep greed out of my family? Time to check that focus again! Am I happier to be clocking out, or clocking in? Do I prefer family time, or overtime? Date night, or casual Friday? My marriage, or my moolah? My children or my chump change? If I’m more concerned about my pocketbook than my people, I’ve got one pricey problem.

Greed destroys your family. This is the gravity of greed. Sorrow #3 is that…

And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives. So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof. – Proverbs 1:18-19

This verse is certainly haunting. When one is greedy to another man’s hurt, they only end up bringing destruction upon their own head. I could reiterate this point a thousand times: greed promises to be a giver, but greed is a taker. For every ounce we gain through greed, we lose a ton elsewhere. We have seen that we can throw away our relationship with our Father and with our family through an unhealthy love of money…and finally, we can throw away our future as well.

Proverbs 13:7 warns that “there is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing“, while on the flip side, “there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches.” Which team do you want to be a part of in the end – team nothing, or team riches? Most would cry, “team riches!”, until they notice the word poor is involved. This is a common enigma in scripture…oftentimes it is a poor person who is the richest of all. It may be that on this earth the poorest Christian is “…as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.” (2 Corinthians 6:10b)

Can you call to mind the parable of the rich man in Luke 12, who stored up his goods and died the same night? The sober conclusion of the story is clear: “So is he that layeth up treasure to himself, and is not rich toward God.” (Luke 12:21)  Unless we want to meet a similar fate (though our death may be spiritual rather than physical – much worse), we must let go of our greed.

Practically speaking, how can I keep greed out of my future? Here comes that focus again…I’ve gotta check myself before I wreck myself. Is my goal stocking up gold, or the streets of gold? Walking down the straight and narrow, or the red carpet? If I’m more concerned about my pocketbook than my paradise, I’ve got one pricey problem.

Greed decides your future. This is the gravity of greed.

In conclusion…

Remember the man who killed his golden goose? Because of his greed for more, more, more, he lost what good he already had. Such is the fate of all who are lovers of money; of those who do not regard the gravity of greed.

Greed denies your Father, destroys your family, and decides your future. While promising the world, greed will steal you blind. Let us be content with what God has given us, keeping money and material things of this life in their proper perspective. Our true treasure is elsewhere, after all…

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven… – Matthew 6:19-20a

For God’s Glory,
CA Bolks

Chelsea Bolks is a church of Christ minister’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.