My Future is Female
It is her right, to bind with warmest ties,
The lordly spirit of aspiring man,
Making his home an earthly paradise,
Rich in all joys allotted to life’s span;
Twining around each fibre of his heart,
With all the gentle influence of love’s might,
Seeking no joy wherein he has no part –
This is undoubtedly – a woman’s right!
It is her right to teach the infant mind,
Training it ever upward in its course,
To root out evil passions that would bind
The upward current of his reason’s force;
To lead the erring spirit gently back,
When it has sunk in gloom of deepest night;
To point the shining path of virtue’s track,
And urge him forward. This is woman’s right.
It is her right to soothe the couch of pain;
There her pure mission upon earth to prove,
To calm with gentle care the frenzied brain,
And keep her vigil there of holiest love;
To watch untiring the lonely bed,
Through the bright day, and in the solemn night,
Til health ensues, or the loved form is laid
To rest forever. This is woman’s right.
She is a flower that blossoms best, unseen,
Sheltered within the precincts of her home;
There, should no dark’ning storm-cloud intervene,
There, the loud-strife of worldlings never come.
Let her not scorn to act a woman’s part,
Nor strive to cope with manhood in its might,
But lay this maxim closely to her heart –
That that which God ordains is surely right.
“Woman’s Rights” – Rebekah Gumpert Hyneman
This poem is a breath of fresh air in a world where the vast majority of women no longer appreciate their God-given rights of womanhood. For many today, femininity is being willfully cast aside in lieu of a pseudo version of masculinity. Feminism (which is the antithesis of femininity) has permeated all aspects of modern society…including the workplace, the education system, the church, and the home. It is a sad state of affairs. Still, there remains a minority of women who desire to stay within the parameters of their heavenly-ordained gender. There are still women who believe in femininity over feminism. I know this because I am one of them. I believe that God created this world to be inhabited by males and females, not male versions 1.0 and 2.0. I believe that males and females have been created differently by God’s perfect design, and that these differences are meant to be celebrated, embraced, and displayed.
As we head into a new year, I would like to challenge every lady reader to work on leveling up her femininity in 2022. Our society is in desperate need of men that are men, and women that are women. Each of us can do our part to strengthen our decaying culture by flourishing in the gender role we have been given. I have chosen to title this New Year’s article, “My Future is Female”. Does this colloquialism sound familiar? “The Future is Female” has been a battle cry of feminists since at least 1975. I do not advocate a future that is female, for such a society can only lead to destruction, and ultimately, collapse. However, I will boldly say that my future is female, for I am determined to spend each and every day of my life flourishing my femininity. If you are of like mind, allow me to share with you 22 ways that you can flourish your own femininity in ’22. The first nine will focus primarily on the outward female, while the last thirteen will focus primarily on the inward female; all will help you to level up into a high-caliber lady, a true queen among women.
Flourish your femininity in 2022 by being…
Female on the Outside
Speak Softly
A feminine woman refines the unique instrument that is her voice. She plays with pitch and volume until she finds “the sweet spot”. It can be difficult to hear our voices as others hear them, but a practical way to overcome this dilemma is to make a recording of your voice and listen to the playback. Record yourself talking, reading, singing, etc. How does it sound? Ideally, a feminine woman would sound agreeable, peaceful, and soothing. Her voice would have a soft and caring quality. Keep practicing – hone your voice to be pleasing to yourself and others around you.
Flourish your femininity by minding your pitch, adjusting your volume, pacing yourself, and speaking softly.
Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet… – from Song of Solomon 2:14b
State Succinctly
A feminine woman chooses her words carefully and deliberately. She commands self-restraint over her tongue by thinking before she speaks, and furthermore knowing when not to speak. Have you ever thought to yourself, “too many useless words, stop chattering already”? If not, either a congratulations are in order, or you might need some work on your self-awareness! If we’re not careful, unchecked words can get the better of us and lead to gossip, angry ranting, arguing with fools, etc. Sin aside, our unchecked words can simply make us unpleasant to be around. People will shy away from us if they can’t get a word in edgewise, or are bored by our endless blathering. Show yourself friendly and considerate to others by making the words you say worth their time.
Flourish your femininity by listening more than you speak, knowing when to remain silent, and stating succinctly.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. – Proverbs 31:26
Stand Erectly
A feminine woman practices excellent posture. She is confident, and it shows in the way she carries herself. Working on standing up straight after years of poor posture can be uncomfortable at the start. (Trust me, I know from experience — tall girl problems!) Yet the more you practice, you will find you feel much better for doing so. Your back will begin to feel its best when your spine is properly aligned. Resist the urge to slump – it’s bad for your health, and it sends a message of insecurity to others. Stand up straight and tall…when your flesh is in an upright position your feelings of confidence will follow suit.
Flourish your femininity by putting your shoulders back, lifting your chin up, and standing erectly.
Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. – Song of Solomon 7:7
Sit Gracefully
A feminine woman is ever the lady, even as she takes her leisure. She maintains good posture when seated as well as standing. She is regal and poised. Like I pointed out just previously, what we are doing on the outside can strongly affect how we are feeling on the inside. If we are seated in a graceful way, this triggers our brain to perceive that we are a high-value lady. The more you value yourself, the more valuable you will become.
Flourish your femininity by positioning your body with purpose, exuding confidence, and sitting gracefully.
Antithesis: Come down and sit in the dust, O virgin daughter of Babylon; sit on the ground without a throne, O daughter of the Chaldeans! For you shall no longer be called tender and delicate. – Isaiah 47:1
Sip Daintily
A feminine woman eats and drinks in a mannerly fashion. She wouldn’t be caught dead slurping, gulping, or chewing and swallowing loudly for all to hear. To my repulsion, I have eaten with people who made me wonder if I had been transported next to a farmyard feeding trough! Now, lest you think that the way you eat and drink is insignificant, let me remind you that showing consideration for others is always quite significant. Show yourself to be a woman of class by practicing self-restraint during mealtime.
Flourish your femininity by dining mindfully, chewing quietly, and sipping daintily.
Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
Smile Authentically
A feminine woman is genuinely bonny and blithe. She does not put on airs, or act one way in front of your face and another behind your back. When you give someone a smile, let it be from the overflow of a joyful heart…never with a false front or hidden motives. If you struggle to give genuine smiles, the last thing you want to do is plaster on a fake one. People will sense this inauthentic act as belonging to an inauthentic person. Instead of acting fake, work on your inner joy so that the look on your face can match what’s inside your heart.
Flourish your femininity by being of good cheer, displaying your true nature, and smiling authentically.
A joyful heart makes a cheerful face… – Proverbs 15:13
Shape Beautifully
A feminine woman is slender and trim. She takes care to maintain a healthy figure, even though it often means denying her flesh. I know I’m not being politically correct, but let’s face it…obesity is not beautiful. On the contrary, it is unhealthy, unsightly, and in many cases, ungodly. Gluttony is an epidemic in the 21st century. Our relationship with food needs to be examined: do we eat to live, or live to eat? The latter will be an ugly result inside and out. Slothfulness will also ruin a woman’s figure. A proper relationship with food and an active lifestyle will, except in the most rare of cases, get you to or keep you at the size that is meant for you.
Flourish your femininity by eating modestly, getting adequate exercise, and shaping beautifully.
Let me see your form…your form is lovely. – from Song of Solomon 2:14b
Style Elegantly
A feminine woman wears flattering clothing. She knows that while a man’s glory is his strength, a woman’s glory is her beauty. She presents herself in a way that elegantly showcases her feminine form. As a bonafide cheapskate that loves collecting clothing and shoes, I assure you that it’s very possible to dress elegantly on a budget. You can easily find inexpensive, quality items for your wardrobe if you know where to look. (Hint: secondhand is the way to go!) The Proverbs 31 Woman is cited as wearing clothes fit for a queen. Don’t be afraid to follow her feminine lead.
Flourish your femininity by shopping with intention, dressing regally, and styling elegantly.
She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. – Proverbs 31:22
Shine Radiantly
A feminine woman accentuates her God-given beauty. She is never seen as frumpy, but always looks well-put-together. In addition to wearing flattering clothing, she knocks it out of the park with the whole package. Whether it’s styling her hair, applying makeup, adorning herself with jewels, spritzing herself with perfume, or all the above…she knows just the right ways to turn her husband’s head and hold his attention. If you want to be positively magnetic to your guy, learn how to make yourself stand out in his eyes. There are billions of girls out there to tempt and tease a man, but you can remind yours why you’re the only one for him…by being his beautiful bombshell.
Flourish your femininity by cultivating your girlish charms, beautifying yourself, and shining radiantly.
How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful you are! Your eyes…your hair…your teeth…your lips…your mouth…your temples…your neck…your two breasts…you are altogether beautiful, my darling, and there is no blemish in you…you have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride; you have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, with a single strand of your necklace….your lips…your feet…your hips…your navel…your belly…your two breasts…your neck…your eyes…your nose…your head…your tresses…how beautiful and how delightful you are, my love, with all your charms! Your stature…your breasts…your breath…your mouth… – Excerpts from Song of Solomon 4:1-11 & 7:1-9
Flourish your femininity in 2022 by being…
Female on the Inside
School Easily
A feminine woman is teachable and open to correction. She is soft and malleable; not hardened and stuck in her ways. If you are on a path of self-improvement, then don’t be ashamed to welcome further education that will lead to your betterment. We should each be humble enough to learn so that we can grow and advance into the best versions of ourselves. This article is all about leveling up your femininity…if you want to do that, you must allow yourself to be taught new ways, even if it means being stretched outside of your comfort zone.
Flourish your femininity by learning with humility, leveling up daily, and schooling easily.
A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. – 1 Timothy 2:11
Show Silently
A feminine woman teaches by her example, not by her words. She has a submissive spirit, and does not attempt to change her husband by nagging, belittling, or criticizing him. I have known of many a man who has been won over by his wife’s submission, but I can’t say I have ever known of a man that was won over by his wife’s contention. A wife that treats her husband with dishonor will always end up with the opposite result from that she is looking for. That is because she is stepping outside of God’s flawless system, and it just plain doesn’t work. Men don’t respond well to nagging, but they respond remarkably well to chaste and respectful wives who are silent about their husband’s faults.
Flourish your femininity by respecting your husband, forsaking to be critical of him, and showing silently.
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. – 1 Peter 3:1-2
Sex Regularly
A feminine woman is available for her husband any time and every time. She has no reluctance to give herself wholly to the man with whom she is one flesh. I will preach this topic until my lungs give out: your husband needs your body daily. It is his right as a husband to have the woman he is covenanted with…freely and without question. After all, you are the only righteous option for his release. Would you withhold that from him and open wide the door to bitterness and perhaps adultery? There ought to be no shame between a husband and wife…every part of you belongs to each other. Sleep naked nightly in your husband’s embrace, have daily sex, and give him frequent pleasures by way of your intimate talk and touch. I guarantee that man will regard you as a queen without equal. It’s a win-win situation!
Flourish your femininity by being vulnerable to your husband, showing desire for him, and sexing regularly.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,” when you have it with you. – Proverbs 3:27-28
Serve Joyfully
A feminine woman is eager to serve others. She fulfills her duties as a wife and mother without complaint, and with a cheerful heart. Many women serve, but not many women serve joyfully. I often hear women boast about performing their regular duties as if they had run a marathon, when instead they should be counting themselves as unprofitable servants: they’re doing what is expected of them. If you feel the need to brag about your accomplishments, then you are probably lacking the sincere joy that comes from serving in humility. Don’t puff yourself up on account of your work, and don’t complain about it either. Count it a privilege that you have a family to love and care for. Many women only wish they could be in your shoes.
Flourish your femininity by being faithful in your duties, refraining from boasting/complaining, and by serving joyfully.
She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. – Proverbs 31:13
See Optimistically
A feminine woman has a positive outlook on life. She is not ignorant of life’s troubles, but she chooses to focus on the good in her life and hope for the best to come. When you find yourself spiraling into negative thought processes, take a moment to stop and smell the roses. Have you survived each of your trials thus far? Yes. Will you continue to rise above whatever obstacles come your way? Most likely. Ultimately, no matter what comes down the pike, your future is optimistic if you are in Christ. When we look to our future in Heaven, our present circumstances don’t look so bleak. Let’s check our pessimism at the front door, and instead of imagining what could go wrong, imagine what can go right.
Flourish your femininity by focusing on that which is positive, leaving worries behind us, and seeing optimistically.
…she smiles at the future. – Proverbs 31:25b
Step Carefully
A feminine woman is aware of her emotional vulnerability. She knows that her feelings are not always correct, and therefore she does not allow them to direct her steps. Like it or not, women are emotional beings. Our feelings often fluctuate, which can lead us to make poor, impulsive, choices. God has offered us protection from our emotions if we will only stay in the roles we have been given: wife, mother, homemaker. If you are busy tending to your husband, your kids, and your home, the opportunities to be led astray by your emotions are cut drastically. Stay within the parameters you were made for, and you’re unlikely to be deceived.
Flourish your femininity by being cautious of your emotions, guarding against deception, and stepping carefully.
And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint. – 1 Timothy 2:14-15
Spend Prudently
A feminine woman makes wise choices with her husband’s and/or her own money. She controls her pocketbook…her pocketbook does not control her. Don’t buy everything that catches your eye. There is an unlimited supply of items in this world to draw our attention, and it’s not long after we buy an item that we’re off hunting for the next thing to make us “happy”. It’s human nature to be short-sighted and impetuous, so don’t get sucked into the vortex of careless spending. Live within your means. Having a budget and sticking to it is so important for good money-management. If the money isn’t there, you don’t spend it: end of story.
Flourish your femininity by saying “no” to impulse buying, living within your means, and spending prudently.
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. – Proverbs 19:14
Sigh Reposefully
A feminine woman is at peace under her husband’s authority. She is happy and content to kick back as her husband takes the reigns over the family, and she has no desire to snatch those reigns from his hands. She knows that submission is not oppression, but blessed freedom. It can feel intimidating to women who are used to taking charge to surrender to a man, but rest assured that God’s ways are perfect. When your husband makes all the decisions for the family, you don’t have to be afraid of the future…because the responsibility (be it for better or for worse) lies in his hands. Just relax…he’s got this.
Flourish your femininity by taking the passenger’s seat, letting your husband call the shots, and sighing reposefully.
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. – 1 Peter 3:5-6
Share Minimally
A feminine woman is discreet. She can be trusted with sensitive information, and will not broadcast information meant to be kept private. Many a home has been destroyed by a woman who freely shares her husband’s faults with anyone who will listen. When she carelessly (or even vengefully) airs the family’s dirty laundry for all to inspect, her husband’s faith in her is quickly lost. Sometimes a well-meaning woman can overshare just by means of talking too much. What she shares may not be negative per se, but it could be embarrassing or just frankly nobody’s business. Be selective with what you share with others. You can always decide to share more later, but you can’t share less once your words have been spoken.
Flourish your femininity by keeping sensitive information private, being choosy with your words, and sharing minimally.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4
Soothe Tenderly
A feminine woman is a nurturer. She is sympathetic to the plight of those who are in true need, and seeks to ease their suffering. Whether she’s lending a listening ear, providing benevolence, or speaking words of encouragement, she makes others’ grateful for her calming presence in their distress. The golden rule is paramount when helping others: figure out what you would need if you were in the hurting person’s shoes, and give them that. Sometimes the help a person wants is not really help, but enabling. A woman must learn to spot the difference and give what is needed with a nurturing love.
Flourish your femininity by feeling sympathy, giving hurting people what they need, and soothing tenderly.
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. – 1 Thessalonians 2:7
Scold Delicately
A feminine woman is unfailingly kind. She portrays a caring demeanor even when she must politely put someone in their place. Whether it is her subordinate (such as her child) or an equal (such as her friend), she corrects calmly and rationally. One of the most unfeminine things a woman can do is to rant and rave. It is so unbecoming and unladylike…furthermore, it’s wrong. Raising the voice, throwing arms about, and suchlike, do not serve to prove your point. These only serve to make you look foolish and out of control. If you want to be heard, the best way to do so is by remaining calm and collected. This demeanor commands respect.
Flourish your femininity by correcting calmly, abstaining from theatrics, and scolding delicately.
Antithesis: The woman of folly is boisterous, she is naive and knows nothing. – Proverbs 9:13
Stay Faithfully
A feminine woman values hearth and home. She prioritizes her husband, and then children, above all other earthly bonds. Most any day you can find her at home performing her duties as a wife and mother. Where do your priorities lie? It ought to be with your family; this is the pattern laid out in scripture for women. In this age of the automobile, many women can be found gallivanting all over town, socializing…well, with everyone except their hubby and kids. When smart phones came on the scene, it added an extra layer of distance: one can leave their family without even getting up off the couch! Again and again I have seen the breaking away, and subsequent divorce, of women who are always on the run. I reckon that women should be running to their families…not away from them.
Flourish your femininity by loving your family first, sticking close to home, and staying faithfully.
Antithesis: She is boisterous and rebellious, her feet do not remain at home. – Proverbs 7:11
Suit Perfectly
A feminine woman is a help meet to her husband. She strives to please him in all that she does, allowing herself to be molded like putty in the capable hands which she loves so dearly. She knows she was created for her man, and she does not take this lightly. I encourage you to make a habit of observing your husband. Figure out what he wants from you, and what he needs from you…and do those things. The “me, me, me” nonsense of feminism should be shunned at all costs. Selfish ambition has no place in the life of a Christian wife. You are not your own.
Flourish your femininity by learning your man, molding to him, and suiting perfectly.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
In conclusion…
Do you desire to flourish your femininity in 2022?
Remember these tips to level up the female on the outside: speak softly, state succinctly, stand erectly, sit gracefully, sip daintily, smile authentically, shape beautifully, style elegantly, and shine radiantly.
Remember these tips to level up the female on the inside: school easily, show silently, sex regularly, serve joyfully, see optimistically, step carefully, spend prudently, sigh reposefully, share minimally, soothe tenderly, scold delicately, stay faithfully, and suit perfectly.
Feeling a little overwhelmed? Know this: no one morphs into a high-caliber queen overnight. Some of these tips require more practice than others to master. But be assured, if you apply yourself to leveling up your femininity, you are already light-years ahead of women of the world. You are a flourishing flower, and your future is female.
Becoming a Classy Woman isn’t easy. It is an art form. If it were simple, every woman would have mastered it already. Being a lady involves daily discipline, self-awareness and the desire for constant refinement, to become the woman we truly wish to be.
– Karla M. Davis
For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks
Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.
