I got a little change in my pocket goin’ jing-a-ling-a-ling
Wants to call you on the telephone baby, a-give you a ring
But each time we talk, I get the same old thing
Always no hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin’ ring
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

Baby baby baby why you wan’ treat me this way
You know I’m still your lover boy I still feel the same way
That’s when she told me a story, ’bout free milk and a cow
And said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin’ vow
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

Hold it here
See I wanted her real bad, and I was about to give in
But that’s when she started talking about true love, started talking about sin
And I said, honey I’ll live with you for the rest of my life,
She said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until you make me your wife-a
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

– “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by The Georgia Satellites, 1986

What do the 2020s, the 1960s, and the 0070s have in common with 1986?

Whether it’s the modern day transgender movement, the “free love” movement of the ’60s, or the all-around debauchery of ancient Pompeii (and that’s not to mention any B.C. dates)…mankind has fallen prey to sexual sin nearly from the dawn of creation. In a world where “anything goes”, one must admire the resolve of a woman to maintain her purity until she is given a wedding ring, a wedding vow, and made a wife. The woman in the song strikes me not as a woman of prudishness, but a woman of purity. She desires to have sex with her man, but when (and only when) she becomes Mrs. Georgia Satellite.

Purity, not prudishness, is likewise what we Christian ladies are about. We know that we are crafted by God as sexual beings, and are unashamed about that fact. However, we also know that the who, what, when, where, and why of how we express our sexuality matters. We are sexual beings, and yet we are called to purity. We must walk a delicate balance with these two truths in order to be pleasing to our Lord.

Purity is one of the seven primary attributes of the Christian woman (see Titus 2:4-5). And while purity is for single and married women alike, my message today is mainly for the single ladies…damsels who have yet to enter into a marriage covenant with a man. If you fall into that category, perhaps you will allow me to speak with you about The Security of Purity. For those married ladies reading, perhaps you will be inclined to share this article with the unwed ladies in your life.

[Please note that this article does not apply to victims of rape, who are in no way responsible for the crimes of their perpetrators. Rape does not equal fornication (for the victim). May God bring justice in His perfect timing and measure to vindicate His precious daughters who have endured this atrocity.]

Today, I will be sharing three things that are secured when a woman chooses to abstain from premarital sex. Firstly, practicing purity will…

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“She said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until you make me your wife”

Perhaps the most obvious of our three points, sex affects your soma (A.K.A. body). Women quite literally accept men inside their bodies when they engage in sexual intercourse. When a woman has sex with a man, she is inviting him into the most hidden, sacred, and intimate part of her being. This is not something to be taken lightly. Your sexuality is meant to be a gift reserved for the man willing to take you into his home for keeps…not a privilege for the guy who wants to take you home like a blockbuster movie and return you when he’s through with his cheap entertainment. Know your value; know that your body is not meant to available for rent (or rent-to-own, for that matter!). Wait for the man who’s looking to “buy”.

Here are 3 reasons to choose The Security of Purity:

• Purity secures your soma from irreversible change. Though it is downplayed and wiped away by our present-day society, there is something to be said for saving that “token of your virginity” (A.K.A. the breaking of your hymen) for your wedding night. It not only speaks to your prior innocence, but also – I will speak candidly – your husband’s masculine satisfaction of having conquered his bride.

• Purity secures your soma from intimidating STDs. In a monogamous marriage, gone is the worry of contracting a virus, infection, or disease. You can rest easy and enjoy yourself to the fullest, knowing that you aren’t going to pay the price later on for your pleasure. Say goodbye to condoms, and hello to unhindered and unencumbered intimacy with your man.

• Purity secures your soma from illegitimate pregnancy. It is an inherent right of children to be raised in the secure home environment of a covenanted father and mother. Premarital sex is a threat to the future generations it propagates. The very real dangers include single-parent homes, custody battles, blended families, and even abortion. The breakdown of the family leads to the breakdown of society.

Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. – 1 Corinthians 6:18

Practice purity in order to secure your soma. Secondly, practicing purity will…

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“She told me a story, ’bout free milk and a cow”

We all know that famous phrase about players: “why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” Many women have suffered soul-crushing heartache on account of this hard truth. Men who lack integrity will take all the milk and then ditch when the going gets tough, or a more exciting “cow” comes along. But time and time again, girls give up their most prized possession for the grand total of $0 and a couple cheap proclamations of “I love you”. Well, love is a verb…and if your boyfriend/fiance “loves you” so much, he will commit, putting affirmative action behind his words. Don’t put your soul on the line to be trampled upon, or you just might be left to pick up the pieces of your heart in the wake of his painful departure.

Here are 3 reasons to choose The Security of Purity:

• Purity secures your soul from personal attachment. When you have sex, bonding hormones are released that cloud your judgment and impair your senses. And long after the sex is over, the emotions of a feminine heart remain. A breakup of two people who did not have sex will still hurt (all breakups do), but it makes it a whole lot easier when there is no added baggage of having slept together. Such a heartache is more akin to losing a close friend than losing an intimate love.

• Purity secures your soul from perpetual memories. As long as you live, you will have to cope with the inescapable reality that you had sex with that guy. You can move on, even marry someone else, but the memories will still remain. Humiliating memories if you despise him, yearning memories if you love him…but memories in any case. Save yourself the torture, and don’t make the memories.

• Purity secures your soul from permanent association. Even if you get as close to forgetting your ex as a girl can, guess who will always remember him? Your friends, your family, and practically everyone else you came in contact with in the history of ever. If they knew you had sex with your significant other, they will hold that knowledge for always…even after you are happily married. Yikes. And what’s worse, the guy you had sex with will always remember, too. Double yikes!

Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “the two shall becomes one flesh.” – 1 Corinthians 6:16

Practice purity in order to secure your soul. Lastly, practicing purity will…

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“She started talking about true love, started talking about sin”

Maybe you aren’t concerned about the defilement of your soma, or the depression of your soul…but will you have concern over the demolition of your spirit? To live a lifestyle of fornication is to live in direct opposition to The Lord’s will. God has provided one safe and secure pathway for us to express our sexuality, and that is within (and only within) the confines of marriage. I’ll say it until my lungs give out: marriage to the love of one’s life is heaven on earth. Why tarry? Why be at odds with your Maker when you can instead accept His spectacular design of marriage and live a holy, wholesome, and harmonious life under the sun with the man you love, and who loves you?

Here are 3 reasons to choose The Security of Purity:

• Purity secures your spirit from guilt and shame. We all have the tendency to be short-sighted and live only in the moment. But if we would be wise and “see our end” (the scriptural definition of repentance)…we might make many choices differently. Will the “free” lifestyle you are living now, oppress you later? Will your future self regret the loose morals of your current self, feel the crushing weight of her folly? You can never go back and change the past…so live in a way you won’t regret.

• Purity secures your spirit from apathy and lethargy. The more one sins, the less guilt one feels. When we do something over and over, such as have sex outside of marriage, our consciences become seared (read: desensitized) about that sin to the point that we can no longer feel shame. If you are apathetic about sin, you will become lethargic about righteousness. It’s a never-ending spiral going ever downward. Don’t tolerate your sin…look to Jesus to help you root it out completely.

• Purity secures your spirit from condemnation and damnation. The Bible is clear about the eternal destination of unrepentant fornicators. (Hint: it’s not a place you want to go.) No human being is worth going to hell for…not your one-night stand, not your boyfriend, not your fiance, not even your live-in “partner”. If you want to have sex, then get out there and find the man of your dreams and marry him.

…the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. – 1 Corinthians 6:13b

Practice purity in order to secure your spirit.

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In conclusion…

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior…those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. – Galatians 5:19,21b

-but-

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. – Matthew 5:8

Choose the security of purity, in order to secure your soma, secure your soul, and secure your spirit.

Do you have a wedding ring? Have you made your wedding vows? Are you a wife? If the answer to these questions is no, then you ought to say to the man in your life, “keep your hands to yourself“…and then either kick him to the curb, or get a move on to that altar!

…if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. – 1 Corinthians 6:9

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.