Destress the Damsel

Fear not the whirlwind will carry you hence,
Nor wait for its onslaught in breathless suspense,
Nor shrink from the blight of the terrible hail,
But pass through the edge to the heart of the gale,
For there is a shelter, sunlighted and warm,
And Faith sees her God through the eye of the storm.

The passionate tempest with rush and wild roar
And threatenings of evil may beat on the shore,
The waves may be mountains, the fields battle plains,
And the earth be immersed in a deluge of rains,
Yet, the soul, stayed on God, may sing bravely its psalm,
For the heart of the storm is the center of calm.

Let hope be not quenched in the blackness of night,
Though the cyclone a while may have blotted the light,
For behind the great darkness the stars ever shine,
And the light of God’s heavens, His love will make thine,
Let no gloom dim your eyes, but uplift them on high
To the face of your God and the blue of His sky.

The storm is your shelter from danger and sin,
And God Himself takes you for safety within;
The tempest with Him passes into deep calm,
And the roar of the winds is the sounds of a psalm.
Be glad and serene when the tempest clouds form;
God smiles on His child in the eye of the storm.

– Anonymous

You’re probably familiar with the term “eye of the storm”. Sometimes, in the middle of a fierce and powerful tropical cyclone, a natural phenomenon occurs in which calm weather is found in the middle of the storm…this tranquil region is called the “eye”.

Many of us will never encounter a tropical cyclone (especially those of us who live in the heart of the American Midwest), but we will encounter many “storms” in life just the same. Of course I am not referring to natural disasters, but emotional disasters…not catastrophic to the planet, but nonetheless quite catastrophic for its inhabitants.

There are myriads of emotional storms that can hit in life: dissolved friendships, distant marriages, deteriorating careers, and the list goes on. Today, I want to focus on one specific type of storm that is familiar to parents the world over: the storm of teenage emotions. Ask any parent of teenagers, and they will likely tell you that they have been through their share of storms while navigating through the teen years with their child. There’s a reason there are so many stereotypes about the “moody teenager”…because adolescents have a whole lot of emotions, and not a lot of practice managing them. They want parents less than ever, but in many ways they need them more than ever. The teenage years can be a tough season for the whole family, but they can be lived through gracefully with a little prep and a lot of patience.

Are you a mother of teens, or will be in the future? Let me give you some perspective about the storms that your teenager will inevitably send your way, and help you to be the” eye of the storm” that your son or daughter needs you to be. In order to be a safe space for your kiddo (and keep your own sanity) there are three things you need to understand about storms. The first thing you need to understand about storms is that:

Out of the south comes the storm, and out of the north the cold. – Job 37:9

Storms occur in various locations all across the globe. When a storm arises, it is never isolated to one individual. Rather, its effects are usually felt by most or all people in that locale…a collective disaster.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not personal:

Once you take an objective look at your teen and stop making their storm about you, your eyes will be open to their needs…and allow you to get to the root of the problem.

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not personal. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

The second thing you need to understand about storms is that:

Do you not fear me? declares the Lord. Do you not tremble in my presence? For I have placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, an eternal decree, so it cannot cross over it. Though the waves toss, yet they cannot prevail; though they roar, yet they cannot cross over it. – Jeremiah 5:22

Storms have boundaries. No storm wreaks its havoc upon the whole earth (with the notable exception of the flood in Noah’s day, of course). Travel far enough, and a storm will make way for sunny skies.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not permissible:

Once you realize that you are capable of both handling and containing your teen’s storms, your eyes will be open to expect and accept the storm…and meet it head on without surprise but with a game plan.

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not permissible. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

The third thing you need to understand about storms is that:

O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and your foundations I will lay in sapphires. Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, and your gates of crystal, and your entire wall of precious stones. All your sons will be taught of the Lord; and the well-being of your sons will be great. – Isaiah 54:11-13

Storms are temporary. No doubt they can cause a lot of damage, but they never last forever. Eventually the rain stops pouring, the wind stops blowing, and all is still.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not perpetual:

Once you realize that the rough spot you are going through with your teen is only a short season, your eyes will be open to the finish line…and allow you to run the remainder of the course with diligence.

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not perpetual. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

In conclusion…

A question every mother of teens ought to ask herself is this: “Will I be picked up and carried off by my teenager’s emotional torrents? Or will I be the eye of the storm that my son/daughter needs?“

We all know what our answer should be, but are we up to the challenge? In order to be the eye of the storm in your teenager’s life, you must understand and remember three things about storms:

Be the eye of your teen’s storm. Be the calm in the chaos. The power of Christ in you will enable you to say to your teenager’s storm, “peace, be still”.

And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. – Matthew 7:25

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.