Destress the Damsel


It was a goose who sadly cried,
“Alas! Alas! The farm is wide,
And large the barnyard company,
But no one ever looks at me;
There really seems to be no use,
Or praise, or glory, for a goose.

– excerpt from “The Goose Explains” by Amos Russel Wells

You know what they say: “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander“. (The goose symbolizing a wife, and the gander, her husband.) In like manner of the above poem, many of today’s women find no use, praise, or glory in being a “goose”; or in other words, find no use, praise, or glory in being a help meet for their man. Oh, but what a marked difference it would make in the life of every “goose” if her pursuit was not on herself, but rather on what is “good for the gander“…for this is indeed the God-ordained use, praise, and glory of a “goose”! It may sound foreign to our 21st century ears, but this truth stands the test of time.

The modern-day Jezebel is all about equality, which is really just a nice way to say “female supremacy”. Phrases such as “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” reveal the true heart of feminism. Feminism is in direct opposition to God’s perfect will for marriage; its proponents advocate a world system where the goose takes the lead and the gander follows. But a feminine woman (as opposed to a feminist woman) has a heart that says, “what’s good for the gander is good for the goose“.

Do you believe that what is good for your husband (your head, your authority, your superior) is good enough for you? Do you align yourself with his wishes, conform to his image, become more and more one with him each day? Do you relinquish the sinful desire to control your man, instead choosing to be subdued and surrendered by him who you chose to enter into covenant with? If the answer is yes, take a seat in the amen pew, and read on. If the answer is no, lay aside your pitchfork, and read on. If Biblical womanhood is your modus operandi, then this article should prove to be inspiring, encouraging, and convicting…regardless of how counter-cultural and politically incorrect it may be.

Today I want to share with you three tiers of authority in which, “what’s good for the gander is good for the goose“. #1, this phrase is…

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. – Philippians 2:5-6

What is this attitude of Jesus toward the Father (that we are commanded to adopt)?

“What’s good for the gander is good for the goose“!

(This example being not one of husband/wife, but of a dominant/submissive relationship just the same.) Jesus believed that whatever was good for God (i.e. the will of the Father) was good for Him (i.e. the work of the Son).

Jesus is concerned about what’s “good for the gander“. Not only is this His Motto, but it’s also…

And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and made Him head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. – Ephesians 1:22-23

What is the attitude of the church toward Jesus?

“What’s good for the gander is good for the goose“!

Christ’s bride believes that whatever is good for Jesus (i.e. the will of the head) is good for her (i.e. the work of the body).

Christ’s bride is concerned about what’s “good for the gander“. Not only is this Her Motto, but it’s also…

…as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:24b

What is the attitude of a wife to her husband?

“What’s good for the gander is good for the goose“!

I believe that whatever is good for my husband (i.e. the will of the man) is good for me (i.e. the work of the woman).

(This is not to say I do not falter in these things at times! Nonetheless, I believe these truths with all my heart and consider the application thereof to be my greatest use, praise, and glory. I am walking in the light, though imperfectly.)

I am concerned about what’s “good for the gander“.

In conclusion…

“What’s good for the gander is good for the goose” is His (Jesus’) Motto…therefore it’s Her (the church’s) Motto…therefore it’s My (a helpmeet’s) Motto. If you are a Christian wife, I exhort you to make it your motto, too!

Ladies, there is much use, praise, and glory in being a “goose”. Let us make it our aim each and every day to seek not our own will, but what is “good for the gander“. There is such joy and purpose to be found in loving and submitting to the headship of a husband…if we will lay aside our 21st century pitchforks, forget about what’s “politically correct”, and commit to living out God’s perfect will for our lives. Don’t be a silly goose…denounce the world-system of feminism, and embrace your God-given femininity, today.

…I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. – 1 Corinthians 11:3b

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.