Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first,”
Pushing in front of the ice cream line.
Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first,”
Grabbing the ketchup at dinnertime.
Climbing on the morning bus
She’d shove right by all of us
And there’d be a tiff or a fight or a fuss
When Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first.”

Pamela Purse screamed, “Ladies first,”
When we went off on our jungle trip.
Pamela Purse said her thirst was worse
And guzzled our water, every sip.
And when we got grabbed by that wild savage band,
Who tied us together and made us all stand
In a long line in front of the King of the land-
A cannibal known as Fry-‘Em-Up Dan,
Who sat on his throne in a bib so grand
With a lick of his lips and a fork in his hand,
As he tried to decide who’d be first in the pan-
From back of the line, in that shrill voice of hers,
Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first.”


– “Ladies First” by Shel Silverstein

When Miss Purse found herself in the clutches of Fry-‘Em-Up Dan, one can’t help but wonder: did she find being “first” to be such a privileged position after all? Or did she wish someone else (a gentleman perhaps) would step in and take her place before she got gobbled up? I suppose one will never know!

Like many women of folly, Pamela Purse had a notion that “ladies first” was an intrinsic right of females that would bring her happiness. However, her self-exalting mindset did not bring about happiness in the end, but rather sorrow…even death. I propose that this very same mindset of “ladies first” will ultimately bring sorrow and (spiritual) death to all who believe in and practice it.

Now when I say “ladies first”, I do not refer to such chivalrous acts as a man opening a door for a woman, or offering her his chair, or encouraging her to go ahead of him in the grocery line. Rather, I am referring to the feminist concept of “ladies first”: that women should be the apex gender…that women can be everything, do everything, and have everything…that they “don’t need a man!” This worldview is diametrically opposed to God’s system. In fact, Scripture asserts just the opposite, that women do need men (and they need us)…

…in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. – 1 Corinthians 11:11b

“Independent” is just what feminists wish to be, but it is to their own detriment. Whenever one steps outside of God’s perfect system, it results in chaos…chaos in the home, chaos in the church, chaos in the nation. Thanks to decades of rampant feminism, our nation has become a moral wreck. For years, many could not determine and live according to their own gender roles, leading to today, when many cannot even determine and live according to their own gender, period.

I am here today to denounce the concept of “ladies first”. Women were not created to be the apex gender – we were created to be helpmeets for our husbands. Women can not be everything, do everything, and have everything – we shine in areas of femininity. Women aren’t to be independent of men – we are one half of the marital equation, completing the glorious picture of Christ and His church.

A favorite saying among feminists is, “never send a man to do a woman’s job”. It’s a smug, self-important way to mock men for not thriving in the role of a woman. Women may use this rude phrase if their husbands do not perform with 100% accuracy such tasks as changing a diaper, folding the laundry, or loading the dishwasher. (Interestingly enough, I have never once heard a man mock his wife for not knowing how to perform an oil change, fix a leaky pipe, or file a tax return, but I digress…) It is in parody of this phrase that I bring today’s lesson before you: “never send a woman to do a man’s job“…because humanity thrives when we women do our jobs, and men do theirs.

Allow me to share with you three unique jobs of men that women are (blessedly) exempt from. #1…


…he may not reduce her food... – cf Exodus 21:10

In Exodus, it was commanded that a man supply the three basic needs of his wife. The first need? Food. It is a man’s job to provide for his family by “bringing home the bacon”. This is not only an Old Testament law, but the principle is reiterated in 1 Timothy 5:8:

..if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

While there may at times be a need for a woman to provide supplemental support for the family (if her husband requires and permits such), an able-bodied man is the one who ought to be carrying the lion’s share of his family’s financial burden. When a man is “providing for his own” there is no question as to who is putting the food on the table. Men are uniquely designed by God to be providers for their families.

Some practical ways a wife can support her husband in his job of provision include:

Spending prudently. Bargain hunting. Reselling unwanted/unneeded items. Preparing inexpensive meals. Buying clothing secondhand. And above all, being content with the life he has to offer her on his budget.

Provision is distinctly masculine. Never send a woman to do a man’s job!

Duty is the essence of manhood.

– George S. Patton

#2…


…he may not reduce her clothing… – cf Exodus 21:10

According to Exodus, the second basic need a man must supply for his wife is clothing. Both literally and metaphorically, whenever clothes are mentioned in Scripture, it represents a “covering”. It is a man’s job to protect his family in soma, soul, and spirit. This protective nature of males is likewise repeated in Luke 11:21:

When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are secure.

(Those “possessions” include his most valuable assets – the wife and kids!)

It’s no secret that the physical strength of the average female pales in comparison to the physical strength of the average male. While a mother should do all in her power to defend her children should a perpetrator come along, the chances of her fighting off an offender (unless of course she holds in her hands “the great equalizer”, A.K.A. a gun) are slim to nothing. Men are uniquely designed by God to be protectors for their families.

Some practical ways a wife can support her husband in his job of protection include:

Upholding boundaries. Steering clear of those individuals that her husband deems questionable. Respecting her own feminine intuition. Being ultra-aware in dark or unfamiliar places. Choosing friends wisely. And above all, keeping close to her tough man – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Protection is distinctly masculine. Never send a woman to do a man’s job!

It was men who stopped slavery. It was men who ran up the stairs in the Twin Towers to rescue people. It was men who gave up their seats on the lifeboats of the Titanic. Men are made to take risks and live passionately on behalf of others.

– John Eldredge

#3…


…he may not reduce her conjugal rights… – cf Exodus 21:10

The third need a man must supply to his wife, pursuant to Exodus 21:10, is sex. Many of you may be thinking, “what…sex?! Ew. That’s one duty my husband can shirk. I don’t need that!”…but God says you do. It is a man’s job to promote his family by making love to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4 confirms this idea:

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise the husband also does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Having sex with one’s spouse promotes two of God’s greatest gifts: love and children. When a husband and wife make love, they make love. An active sex life is uniting…it bonds a couple in ways they bond with no other. When a husband has sex with his wife (if she engages as a lover and not a martyr), it will promote jubilant feelings within her..she is confident, she is unique, and she is cherished. Furthermore, sex brings about babies. A husband physically promotes the human race by implanting his seed in his wife. He emotionally promotes the children she bears for him by being a present, loving father. He spiritually promotes them by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Men are uniquely designed by God to be promoters for their families.

Some practical ways a wife can support her husband in his job of promotion include:

Staying open and available sexually. Being interested and engaged in the bedroom. Bearing children for her husband. Exemplifying honor towards the father of her children. Preserving Dad’s command in and out of his presence. And above all, remembering that she is her husband’s lover and her children’s mother, not the other way around.

Promotion is distinctly masculine. Never send a woman to do a man’s job!

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.

– Billy Graham

In conclusion…

•Provision•Protection•Promotion•

These three masculine responsibilities belong to husbands. What serenity it is to be a woman and have the distinct privilege to take a supportive role in the home, while our husbands take the lead. Don’t be a Pamela Purse, shrieking “ladies first” all the way to your grave. Don’t you know that God knows best? Husbands are called to provide, protect, and promote – and you never send a woman to do a man’s job!

Real women will always be relieved and grateful when men are willing to be men.

– Elisabeth Elliott

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

He’s making a list
He’s checking it twice
He’s gonna find out
Who’s naughty and nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows when you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

– Excerpt from traditional Christmas song, “Santa Claus is Coming To Town” (1934)

I know I’m not the only one who finds this song’s omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent portrayal of Santa to sound an awful lot like the Lord. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” warns children to behave so that they’ll make it on to the “nice list” – a surefire way to get the goods from the big guy in red. Of course, we who are in Christ are far more interested in making God’s nice list, A.K.A. the Book of Life, but I digress. What has always stuck out to me in this jolly Christmas song, is the iconic line: “be good for goodness sake”. What a simple, yet profound concept – doing what is right simply because it is right – a novel idea! It is with this thought (and a happy little excuse for a festive theme) that this article comes before you today.

What is the basis for your treatment of others: their goodness to you, or your goodness to them? Is it your practice to treat others how they treat you, or how you want to be treated? Is it your practice to be good to others only when you feel good towards them, or to always “be good for goodness sake”?

Today, I want to share two reasons why you should be good for goodness sake. #1…


If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. – Luke 6:32-34

Among the Lord’s “naughty list” are those who are good for bad reasons. Instead of being steadily and faithfully “good for goodness sake”, these folks have a shallow sense of goodness that comes and goes. They love, but only those who love them. They do good, but only to those who do good to them. They give, but only to those who give to them. Indeed, at the end of the day, it’s all about them.

Are you a Naughty-Lister?

As Jesus pointed out in our above passage, it’s not all that extraordinary to show a loving, good, and giving spirit to those who return the favor…that comes naturally to everyone. No, what sets Christians apart is not how we treat the loving, the good, and the giving…but how we treat the hateful, the bad, and the greedy. To be “good for goodness sake” is not treating others well because they are good, but because we are. (And because we serve a good God.)

Our Lord wants you to be good for goodness sake, and He’s gonna find out who’s naughty! #2…


But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil people. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. – Luke 6:35-36

Among the Lord’s “nice list” are those who are good for good reasons. Instead of having a shallow sense of goodness that comes and goes, these folks are steadily and faithfully “good for goodness sake”. They love, even those who hate them. They do good, even to those who are bad to them. They give, even to those who take from them. Why? Because Nice-Listers know it’s all about Him.

Are you a Nice-Lister?

True inner virtue is evident when the people or circumstances around us are less than ideal, but we choose to be good anyway. Whether it’s a husband, a child, a waitress, or anyone else that has upset you (ranging anywhere from a minor mistake to an evil intent), your character speaks volumes to God when you can lay aside anger and bitterness and choose the high road instead. When circumstances feel chaotic and out of control, when you can’t do anything to change the people around you…don’t forget that you do have the power to control and change yourself. God sees how they are treating you, and God sees how you are treating them. Remain steadfast in your good nature, and the reward is great.

Our Lord wants you to be good for goodness sake, and He’s gonna find out who’s nice!


In conclusion…

Take an attitude check: are you on the Lord’s naughty or nice list?

“He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.” Long before these words were written, the Psalmist said of God,

He who planted the ear, does He not hear? Or He who formed the eye, does He not see? – Psalm 94:9

Santa Claus is certainly a wholesome and fun make-believe fellow, but he is not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent. The King of Kings is, and He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Tempting as it may be, don’t allow others’ treatment of you to be the basis of how you treat them. Christians have thick skins and stiff upper lips. We do what is right simply because it is right; we roll with the punches, knowing God will sort out the rest. (Keep in mind that being good to those who are bad to us does not mean condoning their behavior…it simply means that we refuse to stoop and participate in it ourselves. Two wrongs will not make a right.)

Focus on being good for goodness sake, and you’ll make the “nice list” for sure…this Christmas, and all year long.

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good… Luke 6:45a

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.