Money’s not important
You’ll hear some people say
But try getting by without it
With all those bills to pay

It really is essential now
Without it life gets tougher
Just like air and water
Without it you would suffer

You need it for the clothes you buy
And the roof above your head
Then there’s all the food you eat
And a warm and comfy bed

Don’t deny your need for dosh
It makes the world go round
Everyone needs money
The dollar or the pound

By helping other people
You can earn a lot of cash
But don’t forget to save a little
And build a decent stash

When saving for your future
Make an early start
Money should be in your head
But never in your heart

– “Money” by Roy Sutton

Mr. Sutton has summarized man’s need for money in a way simple enough for a child to grasp. 1 Timothy 6:10 warns us that, “the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil”. (This passage is commonly misquoted as “money is the root of all evil”, but there’s quite a difference between the two ideas.) I believe the poem helps clear up the misnomer cleanly and concisely: “money should be in your head, but never in your heart”. Money is merely a tool, neither good nor evil…what matters is our attitude towards money and the use thereof.

My #1 goal at Destress the Damsel is to encourage women to acknowledge, accept, and assimilate their God-given roles as wives, mothers, and homemakers. One significant way that women can step into their purpose is by recognizing The Power of Prudence. The way you wield money can bear an incredible impact on your marriage, your children, and your home. Check out this poignant passage:

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. – Proverbs 19:14

The Bible places more emphasis on the prudence of a man’s wife than it does on his house or his wealth. One is an inheritance of a father, but the other is an inheritance of The Father. House and wealth can be lost all too easily, but prudence is a lasting quality of immeasurable value. Do you desire to be a gift from God to your husband? In many ways, your money choices dictate what kind of wife you will be. Today, I am going to share with you two choices that can monetarily make or break your home. You could pick…


But beware: The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave. – Proverbs 22:7

Debt is a curse. Scripture goes so far as to call it a form of slavery. Unwise use of credit brings short-term pleasure and long-term pain…

While items purchased on credit may bring temporary satisfaction, consider the hefty opportunity cost. Time spent with loved onespeace in the homea good name…are these blessings worth throwing away in order to have more stuff? Unless you happen to be of a royal bloodline, the inheritor of a large fortune, or one who stumbles upon the “x” that marks a pirate’s gold stash, you are unlikely to have it all. And so you must choose what is most important to you.

Do you struggle with poor money habits? I am no financial expert, and the advice I have to offer is nothing that hasn’t been said before. Even so, I find these tips to be useful in my life, and perhaps they may be in yours as well:

If you currently have debt, get it paid off post haste. Pick up an extra shift at work, skimp on groceries, have a garage sale…do what it takes to climb out of the hole you’re in so you can start with a fresh slate. If you use credit cards, make sure to pay them off monthly…if you don’t, those interest rates will suck your bank account dry. Make a workable budget…and stick to it. Stop window shopping…in-person or online. Prioritize wants vs. needs…and furthermore, prioritize big wants vs. little wants/short-term wants vs. long-term wants. Resist impulse buying. Practice patience. Bottom line: don’t spend what you don’t have.

If you choose to spend what you don’t have, you risk causing a split, a stress, and a shame for your family. So allow me to suggest picking this instead…


Because: There is precious treasure and oil in the home of the wise, but a foolish person swallows it up. – Proverbs 21:20

If we aim to be wise women who build our homes instead of tearing them down, we must be controlled in our finances…we must prioritize saving over spending…we must have a big-picture mindset rather than giving in to every little desire that flashes before our eyes. Saving brings short-term pain and long-term pleasure…

Saying “no” to more stuff and saying “yes” to more self-control is going to bring lasting benefits to your life in the long run. Many women will come to look at their material possessions with regret later in life, for the high cost it brought to their family. I daresay there are few women who will come to the end of their life, lamenting, “if only I had amassed more things and spent less time with my husband and kids.” Invest in the people in your life more than your possessions. I assure you that bringing your family close, bringing your family calm, and bringing your family clout will bring you far more lasting joy than all the things money can buy. Get a handle on your finances, so you can have what you don’t spend.


In conclusion…

Prudence is a powerful virtue that can make or break a home.

You can spend what you don’t have, and risk causing a split, a stress, and a shame for your family.

OR…

You can have what you don’t spend, and bring your family close, bring your family calm, and bring your family clout.

As for me, I want to choose the option that says, “I am a prudent wife from the Lord”. What say you?

Employ the power of prudence today. Your tomorrow self will thank you.

Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. – Proverbs 15:16-17

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Is this really my best angle?
Should I be holding in my tummy?
Does the lighting look alluring?
Will they find my caption funny?

How can I keep up my engagement?
How easily can people find me?
Will they swipe up on my story?
Will they comment on this kindly?

Why does being social feel so lonely?
Why does it leave me wanting more?
When did the DM lose its C?
How did I turn so Instacure?

– “Instacurities” by Tomfoolery

Social media has become part of a great many people’s lives in the 21st century – from the teen keeping up with his friends, all the way to the great-grandmother keeping up with hers.

Just check out these stats. Among some of the top sites worldwide:

Needless to say, these sites see a lot of traffic. And though I have my grievances with each and every one of these social media pages (some more than others, but all of these 5 come with their own ills, including privacy/data security risks that I would strongly urge you to research) I am not here today to either condone or condemn any particular platform. My aim, rather, is to point out the spiritual dangers that can befall us in any social media setting – not because of the platforms themselves, but because of our own human nature.

Facebook Icon, Tomfoolery, pointed out in the poem above how social media can fuel “instacurities” – the tendency to get sucked into the comparison trap. This is one of numerous considerations we must take into account if we are to navigate through the worldwide web while keeping our spiritual purity intact.

Today, I want to dive into 5 additional dangers we need to be aware of when using social M.E.D.I.A. You guessed it – Danger # 1 starts with M! One danger of social media is that it can feed…


All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. – 1 Corinthians 6:12

For many, social media is an addiction of sorts. Checking apps becomes more of an irresistible compulsion than a conscious choice. Instead of using their sites, their sites use them – drawing their attention again and again to that which lacks any real substance. Whether it’s the white f on a blue background, the rainbow camera, the white bird on a blue background, the white ghost on a yellow background, or the white music symbol on a black background (users will know exactly what I’m talking about); their app of choice draws them in like a moth to the light. When navigating social media, it is always wise to ask oneself: is this app feeding mania in my life?

Here are 5 tips that may help you to avoid mania when using social media:

If you use social media, be aware of the danger of mania.

Danger #2 starts with E! A second danger of social media is that it can feed…


Then he said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” – Luke 12:15

For many, social media sucks them in to the comparison trap. When they observe the happiness, accomplishments, or belongings of others, their knee-jerk reaction is not genuine pleasure for the success and well-being of that person, but a sense of covetous entitlement that says, “why do they have what I don’t? It’s not fair!” They become so engrossed with other people’s blessings that they fail to recognize their own, thus becoming more bitter and envious with every newsfeed scroll. When navigating social media, it is always wise to ask oneself: is this app feeding envy in my life?

Here are 5 tips that may help you to avoid envy when using social media:

If you use social media, be aware of the danger of envy.

Danger #3 starts with D! A third danger of social media is that it can feed…


Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. – 1 John 4:1

For many, social media can be a vast source of information. On the flip side, it can also be a vast source of misinformation. Anyone can put anything out there at any time…from solid truth to blatant lies, and all manner of “in-between”. It is important to take everything we read online with a grain of salt, but it is all too easy for a brain to become twisted when taking in untruths on a regular basis. If we are not careful, we can fall prey to deceit and find ourselves drifting from the truths found in God’s word. When navigating social media, it is always wise to ask oneself: is this app feeding doubt in my life?

Here are 5 tips that may help you to avoid doubt when using social media:

If you use social media, be aware of the danger of doubt.

Danger #4 starts with I! A fourth danger of social media is that it can feed…


Through insolence comes nothing but strife, but wisdom is with those who receive counsel. – Proverbs 13:10

For many, social media is an outlet for pent-up anger. The ease of being able to type anything from the comfort of one’s own home with little accountability or repercussion makes it all too easy to be a keyboard warrior. Social media becomes a free-for-all where everyone does what is right in their own eyes. Anyone can say what they want, when they want, how they want, and in a most cowardly fashion (read: with the click of a button). When navigating social media, it is always wise to ask oneself: is this app feeding insolence in my life?

Here are 5 tips that may help you to avoid insolence when using social media:

If you use social media, be aware of the danger of insolence.

Danger #5 starts with A! A fifth danger of social media is that it can feed…


…love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own… – 1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a

For many, social media is one gigantic memorial to their favorite superstar: their own self! In a world where one has a ready platform to brag about their accomplishments, paste countless selfies, and display the glamorous aspects of their personal life to the watching world, social media is an egotist’s dream. Every like, comment, and share further reinforces their delusions of grandeur. When navigating social media, it is always wise to ask oneself: is this app feeding arrogance in my life?

Here are 5 tips that may help you to avoid arrogance when using social media:

If you use social media, be aware of the danger of arrogance.


In conclusion…

One woman may read this article and come away realizing that social media is not for her. Perhaps the tendency to mania, envy, doubt, insolence, or arrogance proves to be too much of a temptation in her life. She elects to flee temptation and “remove herself from the premises”.

Another woman may read this article and choose to remain on social media, but with a renewed sense of awareness. She understands the dangers of social m.e.d.i.a. and decides to proceed with caution.

Which response is correct?

I will suggest that there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Why? Because social media is merely a tool. Like any tool, it can be used in a way that brings about health or harm. It is your responsibility to figure out whether it is bringing health or harm to your life (and that of others) and respond accordingly. If you decide to use social media, remember the 5 dangers to look out for. If you decide not to use social media, you must also remember the dangers…for they can crop up in other areas of our lives. Whatever you do, don’t read this article and look the other way. Social media or no social media, may you walk in purity, because:

Digital behavior is just a replication of human behavior.

– Paul Papadimitriou, Digital Intelligence Analyst

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks


Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.