Am I a Jolly Good Female?
by 
Which nobody can deny?
Which nobody can deny?
Oh, let’s not start that up again! If you read last month’s article, you’ll know why the traditional song, “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”, has been looping in my mind for many days. In my March 2026 blog, Is He a Jolly Good Fellow?, we considered 8 traits that single ladies often desire in a man, followed by 8 traits that single ladies ought to require in a man. This month’s article is a direct follow-up to those thoughts, so I strongly encourage you to read Part I here before moving into Part II. I’ll wait!
Did you read Part I? You’re kinda the best. Now we can dive into Part II: Am I a Jolly Good Female?
Selecting a husband is the single most important choice any damsel will ever make…second only to selecting a Lord and Savior (hint: choose Jesus). As we discussed last month, in order to select the right husband, a woman must ask herself, Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? She must ask herself honestly: What manner of man is he? Today we’re going to amp up our game and turn the question back on ourselves. In order to become the right wife, a woman must ask herself, Am I a Jolly Good Female? She must ask herself honestly: What manner of woman am I? Listen to this childhood story shared by Dixie Andelin Forsyth, President of Fascinating Womanhood™, and daughter of FW founder, Helen Andelin. In the story, Dixie recalls an exchange she had with her mother when around the age of 14:
❝I said, ‘I know I’m really young, and I know I’m not that worldly wise. How will I know…a good guy…the right guy for me? How can I find the right guy? I don’t think I’ll be smart enough by then.’ I remember she gave me this pad of paper…and she said, ‘Write down everything you want in a man…’ And so I did and that was kind of fun, because she said, ‘…anything you want’, and of course, being 14, I probably put some really stupid stuff on there, too. So I put everything down and then she took the page and tore the paper off, turned it upside down, and said, ‘Now write on the back everything that guy you just described is going to be looking for, deserve, or want in a woman. What will he be looking for?’ And that took a little longer. She said, ‘Tape the paper to your headboard with this part that has what you need to do, what he’s going to want, and work on that.’ I remember sewing was on there; I remember cooking was on there; I remember those things. I thought, ‘He’s going to want someone who cooks – this great guy, this amazing guy who every woman wants – is going to want this.’❞
– excerpt transcribed from YouTube video, “8 Tips for Single Women | | Preparing Yourself for Marriage by Cultivating Your Femininity“, by Fascinating Womanhood – Dixie Andelin Forsyth
Helen Andelin proved herself to be a shrewd mother when she exhorted young Dixie to work on herself while waiting to meet the man of her dreams. (Fun fact: Dixie has been married to the love of her life, Dr. Robert Forsyth, for 50+ years and counting, and the couple is blessed with 7 children. Though I don’t agree with Bob and Dixie’s every position, I do find their teachings on marriage to be exceedingly useful. They have a good grasp on masculinity and femininity in the marital relationship.)
Single friends: allow me to play the role of Helen, as you play the role of Dixie. I may not have a pad of paper to give you, but consider this your digital copy. Last month, we “filled out” one side of the paper and made a list detailing The Man I Desire and The Man I Require. This month, we’re going to “turn the paper over”, as it were, and make a new list. It’s time to answer the million-dollar question:
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is attractive, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) conscientious. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who beautifies herself. He will want that “jolly good female” who makes a concerted effort to look her best. One who is elegant and refined, and never frumpy and dumpy. One who puts together lovely outfits, and doesn’t just throw on any ratty old clothes. One who styles her hair, and doesn’t merely run a brush through it and call it good. One who nourishes her skin and nails, and doesn’t simply neglect them (whether she wears makeup and/or manicures her nails will come down to her man’s individual preference). One who practices ladylike posture, and doesn’t slouch. One who maintains her physique, and doesn’t let her body go.
What kind of beloved is your beloved, O most beautiful among women? – Song of Solomon 5:9a
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is charming, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) kind. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who shows care and compassion to others. He will want that “jolly good female” who is nurturing towards all life forms: from people to pets to plants. One who isn’t self-centered, but is selfless and sacrificial. One who isn’t loud and brash, but possesses a gentle and quiet spirit. One who doesn’t attempt to be the center of attention, but pours attention upon the lowly. One who isn’t quarrelsome, but is gentle and peaceable. One who doesn’t “call it like she sees it”, but seasons her words with salt in an effort to edify the hearers. One who doesn’t focus on what others are not doing, but focuses on what she can do to make the world a better place.
If she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. – 1 Timothy 5:10b
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is humorous, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) lighthearted. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who keeps on the sunny side of life. He will want that “jolly good female” who is given to optimism, even in the midst of hardship. One who counts her blessings, and not her burdens. One who is content, and not a chronic complainer. One who is smiling and cheerful, rather than frowning and miserable. One who boosts morale by pointing out the silver lining, rather than bringing everyone’s mood down by pointing out the cloud. One who can laugh at her mistakes, and doesn’t throw her hands up in defeat at the first sign of failure. One who will stick by her husband’s side through thick and thin, and not say “adios” when things get rough.
Antithesis: It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman. – Proverbs 21:19
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is intelligent, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) studious. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who has a good head on her shoulders. He will want that “jolly good female” who balances her feminine emotions with knowledge, understanding, wisdom, and good old-fashioned common sense. One who has a strong sense of discernment, and doesn’t believe everything she hears. One who makes informed decisions, and doesn’t always follow the status quo. One who reads and researches, and doesn’t think books are a waste of paper. One who observes and listens, and doesn’t talk incessantly. One who is perpetually growing and evolving, and not stagnating at the same maturity level she was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago. One who is a doer, and not just a hearer.
Antithesis: weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. – 2 Timothy 3:6b-7
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is muscular, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) protective. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who leans into his masculinity. He will want that “jolly good female” who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable with a man. One who doesn’t buy into egalitarianism, but believes in complementarianism. One who doesn’t regard masculinity as toxic, but regards it as intoxicating. One who isn’t interested in competing with her man, but in completing him. One who doesn’t scoff at men when they open doors for her or offer to relieve her of heavy loads, but is grateful for their chivalry. One who doesn’t hatefully proclaim, “I don’t need a man”, but lovingly proclaims, “I need my man”. One who doesn’t shun help, but invites it, receives it, and praises it.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is powerful, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) significant. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who is a positive influence. He will want that “jolly good female” who models Biblical womanhood in a world that’s largely forgotten what femininity is. One who is reverent in her behavior and teaches what is good, rather than being a malicious gossip or enslaved to much wine. (Titus 2:3). One who encourages young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, and subject to their own husbands, rather than letting the word of God be dishonored (Titus 2:4-5). One who shapes the opinions and behaviors of others by gentle persuasion, rather than micromanagement and manipulation tactics.
All my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. – Ruth 3:11b
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is romantic, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) devoted. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who is faithful, loyal, and true. He will want that “jolly good female” who is, in the immortal words of Grease’s Sandra Dee, “hopelessly devoted to [him]”. One who isn’t lukewarm in her affections, but is crazy about her man and always thinking on ways to please him. One who doesn’t allow petty grievances to drive a wedge between the two of them, but is tenderhearted and longsuffering. One who doesn’t flirt with all the guys, but is discreet and shamefaced in the presence of men. One who doesn’t give her body outside of marriage, but safeguards her purity. One who doesn’t consider divorce to be an option (barring extenuating circumstances), but upholds the marriage covenant as sacrosanct.
But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:10
In Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? we talked about desiring a man who is wealthy, and requiring a man who is (more importantly) industrious. What kind of a woman will such a man desire and require? I reckon he will be looking for the kind of woman who is able to stretch a penny. One who doesn’t buy impulsively, but thinks a purchase through before adding it to her cart (whether digitally or physically). One who isn’t concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, but is content with what she has. One who isn’t preoccupied with labels, but gravitates toward the cheaper option when there isn’t a noticeable difference in quality. One who doesn’t require everything she owns to be brand new, but is willing to shop secondhand for most items (I personally draw the line at thrifted underwear, socks, etc.). One who isn’t comfortable with outstanding debt, but pays bills in a timely manner. One who doesn’t spend with reckless abandon, but sticks to a budget.
A prudent wife is from the Lord. – Proverbs 14:b
In conclusion…
As you wait for your Mr. Right to come along, it will serve you well to work on becoming his Mrs. Right. Preparing for marriage certainly involves asking oneself, Is He a Jolly Good Fellow? But it also involves asking oneself, Am I a Jolly Good Female? Both sides of the equation are of vital importance. I challenge all the single ladies out there to follow the example of 14 year old Dixie, and “fill out both sides of the paper”, so to speak.
It’s crucial that one side asks, “Is he conscientious, kind, lighthearted, studious, protective, significant, devoted, industrious, and a disciple of Jesus Christ?”
But remember, it’s just as crucial that the other side asks, “Am I the becoming the woman that a conscientious, kind, lighthearted, studious, protective, significant, devoted, industrious, disciple of Jesus Christ will desire and require?”
❝So many times we think, ‘What do I want? I want this and this and this.’ and we don’t think, ‘What do they want?‘ Well, you’ve gotta match. You’ve gotta fit.❞
– excerpt transcribed from YouTube video, “8 Tips for Single Women | | Preparing Yourself for Marriage by Cultivating Your Femininity“, by Fascinating Womanhood – Dixie Andelin Forsyth
For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks
Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.
