So let’s get straight to the point. What is the big deal about purity anyway? My body, my personal life, my choice, right? Well, as with anything in life, let’s rid ourselves of ourselves and see what God has to say about it. Then and only then will we be able to judge rightly. So let’s begin…

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The Woman (Her Innocence)

There is a garden in her face
Where roses and white lilies blow;
A heavenly paradise is that place,
Wherein all pleasant fruits do flow: 

Since time began, many a woman has taken pride in cultivating a beautiful garden. From flowers to fruit, there is something quite special about having a plot of land to enhance and make into one’s own unique project. Now gardening may not be as popular as it was when “Cherry Ripe” was penned, however, the same sentiment can be applied to many a personal pursuit. Perhaps you take pride in a musical instrument, your book or movie collection, or in decorating your space to represent your individual interests. Whatever the case may be, we all have things that are special to us.

Take a moment to think of what it is that you enjoy most, and then think of how you would feel if someone carelessly came in, took your most prized possessions for their own, and left you with the remains. If these things meant something to us, we would not easily give them up. Yet why do women treat their purity so carelessly?

Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. – 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

In today’s society I believe what contributes to such a lack of purity is this – entitlement. We believe that because we live in our body that we own our body, but this is simply not true.

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. – 1 Corinthians 6:20

If we know how to love, care for, and cherish our own possessions, how much more ought we to protect the property of the King? The garden, the heavenly paradise that is a woman’s beauty belongs not to the woman, but rather to her Creator. We may not hold our bodies in high esteem, but if we realize that our body is on loan to us from our Lord…then will we change our perspective?

There cherries grow which none may buy
Till “Cherry-ripe” themselves do cry. 
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The Man (His Persistence)

Those cherries fairly do enclose
Of orient pearl a double row,
Which when her lovely laughter shows,
They look like rose-buds filled with snow; 

There is a big problem with a woman’s determination and it is called a MAN. Now let’s be real – not every girl is trashy or stupid enough to go looking in an alley for a serial killer to fornicate with. It’s just not that black and white. No, too often it is a perfectly decent man who begs a woman of her innocence, and because he is decent, the woman gives in after a time if he is persistent.

GIRLS, listen to me – MEN WANT TO HAVE SEX. Christian men, atheist men, old men, young men, nerdy men, charming men, the list goes on…. DO NOT have sex with your boyfriend because he is a good man and he loves you. Do not be fooled to think that true love is an excuse to sin. Even if he is a good man and he talks you into it – NO. Just NO. That is his sex drive talking. It doesn’t mean he’s an evil person or even that you necessarily should end your relationship, but it means that he is human, and his flesh is weak. He needs your help – not your acceptance.

Even righteous men are apt to follow their sex drive if temptation is strong, and women will give in because their heart tells them to. The world says to follow your heart, but God’s Word says:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? – Jeremiah 17:9

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. – Proverbs 28:26

I’m going to be frank with you. If your boyfriend is so impatient that he doesn’t want you because you won’t have sex with him, (and he’s not willing to take you to the altar) – it’s time to call the shots. No human being is worth going to hell for. On the other hand, if you have a truly wonderful man who loves you, he’s going to either be patient, or hurry up and marry you.

But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. – 1 Corinthians 7:9

Too many well-meaning christians have led couples astray by cautioning against young marriage; causing greater temptation than need be by extended dating periods and engagements. This is foolish at best. There is no shame in getting married early to protect each other from sin, and in fact the bible commands it if abstinence is too difficult to bear. Be more diligent to please God, and less inclined to care what others think when it comes to your own needs in this area.

Yet them no peer nor prince can buy
Till “Cherry-ripe” themselves do cry. 
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The Savior (HIS Deliverance)

Her eyes like angels watch them still;
Her brows like bended bows do stand,
Threat’ning with piercing frowns to kill
All that attempt with eye or hand 

Up to this point it seems all efforts to avoid sexual immorality have been on our part. Now don’t get me wrong – we do have a part! However, we can not do this alone. Many have tried and failed to live perfectly; because without our Lord guiding us, our efforts are futile. We must pray, we must study the Word, and we must dwell on spiritual thoughts to keep from drifting. This applies not just to the unmarried, but to every single person on this planet. There is a very real battle for our spirits, and fornication is one of the doors Satan would try to open to pull us apart from God. Will we be overcome? Or will we stand firm in our convictions, and where we are weak – seek God diligently to strengthen us?

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him. – James 1:12

Those sacred cherries to come nigh,
Till “Cherry-ripe” themselves do cry.

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Bottom line: We can guard our innocence, we can say no to fornication, we can get married and enjoy all the pleasures of love with our spouse, but if our eyes are not fixed on Jesus Christ, the only thing that has been regenerated is our outward behavior. God wants our heart. Do we obey only because it is the right thing to do? There is a start! Yet greater still is a heart that longs to please the Lord because of our great love for Him. We want to be pure because He wants us to be pure, and doing His will should be above all other delights this world has to offer.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in His way. – Psalms 37:23

Instead of following the crowd and saying a youthful yes to pre-marital sex, why not be a true warrior and say yes to purity, to courage, and to salvation? Say yes to Jesus Christ, for this is the yes you will not regret.

God bless, and take a chill pill!
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

I propose that the infirmities of others can and should serve as a method of teaching us the truth of our own inner man – causing us to dig up and expose the “dirt” beneath the surface. This is a painful yet necessary process towards building a Christ-like existence.
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– When we consider the elderly who can not remember, we need to ask ourselves…

Do we remember?

It’s common to feel sad, lonely, or even frustrated in the face of Dementia. We know that generally as people age, they begin to forget things until the point they eventually forget the ones they love most. Though aged forgetfulness is innocent in nature, it can give us a good example of what sin does to people. If we drift away from the Lord, it may start slowly. It might even be undetectable at first to the world around us, but the sickness will slowly infect our minds until we have nearly forgotten all the truth that we once held dear. Natural dementia is innocent – spiritual dementia is not. When we come in contact with the elderly, we ought to learn to remember.

“Remember this, and shew yourselves men: bring it again to mind, O ye transgressors. Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me” – Isaiah 46:8-9
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-When we consider the mentally disabled who are unaware of their actions, we need to ask ourselves…

Are we aware of our actions?

As a young child, there were a few times that I saw severely handicapped people while shopping or eating at a restaurant. I remember the feeling of confusion I had when I saw these men or women acting inappropriately and abnormally; perhaps violently thrashing themselves or others, speaking incoherently, or crying and yelling for seemingly no reason. For many, the reaction to such a sight is to turn from it in embarrassment. Is this the right response? Of course not. These poor individuals are helpless to prevent the outbursts, and we should show them compassion. However; when it comes to ourselves, we ought to look within in disgust when we act inappropriately and abnormally in the sight of our God! If it is so easy to see the mortifying actions of the mentally disabled, the innocent – how can we be blind to our own crazed behavior, when we ought to know perfectly well what we are doing? When we come in contact with the disabled, we ought to become sensitive and aware of our behavioral state.

“He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.” – Proverbs 2:7
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-When we consider children, who keep making the same mistakes over and over again…

Do we make the same mistakes over and over again?

Sometimes parenting is exhausting. It seems that the phrase “If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times” just might be an understatement. When it comes to the simplest things, children need to be taught. Then they need to be taught again. And again. And again, and again, and again! It can feel like the teaching never ends. Then when we feel like they’ve finally got a handle on our teaching, they forget, and the process starts all over again. Does this resemble our spiritual life? Do we keep falling over and over again and never grow or improve? Children we will give grace to, for eventually they grow up and wise up…but let’s be cautious that we as christian adults do not keep falling back to our sin, because again – we know better. This holds us accountable. When we come in contact with children, we ought to be reminded to learn from our mistakes.

“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” – Ephesians 4:14-15
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All of the people I have mentioned are an exaggerated example from God of what we could be without Him. I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the maladies of the elderly, handicapped, and children are of a physical nature, and without condemnation. Even so, these innocents can give us an excellent picture of what might be going on inside us of a spiritual nature. It’s as if these were speaking the exact same thing to us as our Lord when He said, “this is my body which is given for you”  – their conditions are on this earth for us to learn from as I stated above. Let us be christian women who remember, who are aware of our actions, and who grow and improve instead of make the same mistakes over and over again. Let us thank God for the strength of mind we have – that He has made us perfectly capable of choosing Him and living a faithful life according to His purpose.

God bless, and take a chill pill!
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” Like “The Little Engine That Could” , this is the mantra of every christian mother, is it not? We keep trudging up hill, and while some days are smoother than others, sometimes we feel fortunate to have gotten through another 24 hours simply having kept everyone from going insane. By the end of a full day spent keeping the kids in line, it is often us who feel we are flying off the handle. It is at these times that “I think I can” starts to turn into a wearied “I think I can not“…

No one ever said motherhood was always a walk in the park. Cute babies are somewhere along the line exchanged for miniature people with adult sized attitudes, and we are left wondering what we got ourselves into.

“reap…”

But wait – a light at the end of the tunnel – what’s that you say about reaping, Lord? We’re all in! Surely all our hard work will eventually pay off?

Ah, but wait, the responsibility shifts back to us. “If we …”

“faint not”

Each one of us has a natural bend towards selfishness. Let’s face it, serving others is downright wearisome…to the flesh, that is. However, with God’s help and a lot of practice on our part, we can have a changed mindset towards service, and our spirits will only gain all the more energy! When we look outside of ourselves and outside of our children, we can see the bigger picture – our service is for God! (Colossians 3:23)

If we think we can’t muster up one more ounce of grace towards that belligerent child, we are too stressed to break up another quarrel, too tired to pick up the mess; if we are just about ready to throw in the towel…remember that it’s not about them! Our service to our family is a direct reflection upon our service to God. If we “can’t” serve them, what we’re ultimately saying is that we can’t serve Him.
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I know it’s hard to look beyond what’s happening right now. I know it seems that keeping order to a christian home should not be this hard. I know that sometimes it might feel like you aren’t good enough, but I will tell you this: None of that matters, because “in due season we will reap, if we faint not”. The struggle will be worth it; we know this is true, because it is straight from God’s word! The important thing is that we don’t give up.

Remember that Jesus came to earth as a servant. Who are we to display a selfish attitude towards our children when He was (and is) everything but selfish toward us?

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I encourage you to take time daily to invest in God’s word. Instead of letting our circumstances control us, we ought to be well prepared each day for the hard work that is parenting! The devil would like nothing more than to see our homes fall apart as we go into battle un-armed and ignorant. Let’s not give him the delight that he seeks, but rather please our Heavenly Father by being a mother filled with grace, fortitude, and nobility. With God, we don’t think we can…we know we can.

God bless, and take a chill pill!
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.