Destress the Damsel

It never did, and never will,
Put things in better fashion,
Though rough the road, and steep the hill,
To fly into a passion.

And never yet did fume or fret
Mend any broken bubble;
The direst evil, bravely met,
Is but a conquered trouble.

Our trials^___did we only know^___
Are often what we make them;
And mole-hills into mountains grow,
Just by the way we take them.

Who keeps his temper, calm and cool,
Will find his wits in season;
But rage is weak, a foaming fool,
With neither strength nor reason.

And if a thing be hard to bear
When nerve and brain are steady,
If fiery passions rave and tear,
It finds us maimed already.

Who yields to anger conquered lies^___
A captive none can pity;
Who rules his spirit, greater is
Than he who takes a city.

A hero he, though drums are mute,
And no gay banners flaunted;
He treads his passions under foot,
And meets the world undaunted.

Oh, then, to bravely do our best,
Howe’er the winds are blowing;
And meekly leave to God the rest,
Is wisdom worth the knowing!

– “Keep Your Temper” by Ellen P. Allerton

The art of remaining calm in the face of adversity is one of the most challenging skills to learn in life…and one of the most rewarding. As Mrs. Allerton aptly pointed out, losing one’s temper does not positively affect negative circumstances, but only serves to make us look and act the fool. Those who can keep their cool (even when being sorely mistreated) are wiser and stronger than the mightiest warrior.

• When others hurt you, is it your custom to “fly into a passion”?

• Do you “fume and fret” when going through a rough patch?

• Are you apt to turn “mole-hills into mountains”?

If you struggle with these temper temptations, today’s lesson is for you. The title, Hold Your Peace, is a bit of a double innuendo. To hold one’s peace is to zip the lip. Put a lock on it. Clap the trap. In other words, it means to refrain from speaking. Yet there’s also a two-sided aspect of this phrase which I love: when you “hold your peace” (control your outward composure), you literally “hold your peace” (maintain your inner tranquility). And isn’t that unshakable internal serenity something we all would like to get a firm grip on?

Allow me to share with you the three steps involved in Holding Your Peace. If you can learn to follow these three steps when wronged, never again will anyone have the power to steal the peace that is in you.

The first step to holding your peace is to…

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In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.

– Francis Bacon, “Of Revenge,” Essays (1625)

The ability to pass over an offense is a virtue most people have in short supply. Instead of holding our peace when we are mistreated, our natural tendency is to return an attack on the culprit. (You know: “the best defense is a good offense”??) We might even feel justified in hurting those who hurt us…after all, don’t they deserve a taste of their own medicine? This may be worldly wisdom, but it is not the way.

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, Who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously. – 1 Peter 2:21-23

WWJD when people hurt Him? The above verse gives us a pretty good idea.

We have to Let It Be.

Now, here are a few things that Letting it Be is not…

Letting it be is not approving of evil behavior. It is not condoning abuse. It is not clinging to toxic relationships. It is not outwardly giving the silent treatment and inwardly fostering hatred and bitterness.

Here’s what Letting it Be is…

Letting it be is neglecting to participate in evil behavior. It is refusing to stoop to the level of an abuser. It is walking away from toxic relationships. It is staying silent out of strength and meekness, not spite and malice.

Next time you are mistreated, I challenge you to simply Let it Be. Don’t allow someone else’s sin to cause you to sin. Break the cycle! It may feel good in the moment to “sock it to ’em” when people hurt us, but it doesn’t pay. Far better is the feeling that comes with knowing that you had the inner resolve and strength of character to hold your peace. Stay soft and sweet. God will take special note of the innocent.

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and He will save you. – Proverbs 20:22

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. – Romans 12:19

Has someone treated you like dirt? Let it Be. The second step to holding your peace is to…

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As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.

– Nelson Mandela

A good memory can be both a blessing and a curse. Women tend to be like elephants (in mind, not in midsection) – what I mean is, we never forget! And while this can be a great skill to have when memorizing the ingredients of our husband’s favorite dish, filing away dates and times for family appointments, or remembering our grandchild’s birthday, it’s not such a positive thing when it comes to recalling past offenses. We females have a tendency to recollect and ruminate on wrongs done to us…replaying the ugly records over and over in our mind and throwing ourselves a great big pity party.

As Nelson Mandela pointed out in the quote above, bitterness and hatred only serve to imprison us. Scripture says much the same thing:

…by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. – 2 Peter 2:19b

We have to Let it Go.

Now, here are a few things that Letting it Go is not…

Letting it go is not denying the reality that you experienced pain. It is not saying that the person who hurt you is a swell individual. It is not repeatedly putting yourself back in harm’s way. It is not allowing toxic people to come back into your life without having changed.

Here’s what Letting it Go is…

Letting it go is acknowledging the pain you experienced, but choosing to release it. It is realizing that forgiveness says a lot more about you than it does about your offender. It is both relinquishing the bad old memories and striving to avoid making bad new memories. It is having enough self-respect to distance yourself from those who continually mistreat you without repentance.

No matter how rotten we’ve been treated, it simply doesn’t serve us to dwell on past wrongs. As long as we are stuck in the past, we not only cease to grow into a new and flourishing future, but we actually grow into something ugly – we become dark and miserable humans who only think of licking our wounds. We don’t level up, we don’t think of being a blessing to others…instead it’s all “poor me”. Gross! Remember, we want to hold our peace, not hold our grudges.

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. – Isaiah 43:18

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. – Ephesians 4:31

Has someone treated you like dirt? Let it Go. The third and final step to holding your peace is to…

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Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.

– Elisabeth Elliot

Trusting in the Lord is basically Christianity 101…yet when we are going through a trial, it’s easy to fall into despair. When the people who hurt us continue merrily along life’s path, never being held to task for their wrongs, never relenting in their pursuit of evil, and never meeting their demise, we may begin to feel like God has forgotten us or simply doesn’t care about our plight. I’m sure this is how the Israelites felt under harsh Egyptian bondage…I’m sure it’s how countless Jews felt under Hitler’s wicked regime…I’m sure it’s how many battered wives feel under the cruel hand of their abusive husbands. Of course God does not forget about us, nor is He apathetic about us. He cares deeply for each and every one of His children. However, He does not work on our time table:

But by His word the present heavens and earth are being reserved for fire, kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. – 2 Peter 3:7-9

Our God is a God of justice, but He is also a God of mercy. He is a God who prepares a fiery judgment for the wicked, but He is also a God who extends an invitation for the wicked to repent. He is a God who says, “you’re finished”, and He is a God who says, “I’m not finished with you yet”. Did you ever consider that God sometimes “holds His peace”? He doesn’t always send fire and brimstone down upon every lowlife – not right away, even if that is the end goal. But we can be assured that His judgment comes in the right measure, at the right time. We need to have enough humility to accept that He will move when the time is right. We have to Let God Work.

Now, here are a few things that Letting God Work is not…

Letting God work is not regarding our Lord like a genie in a bottle. It is not allowing our faith to rise and fall with each accepted or denied prayer request. It is not demanding for our will to be done. It is not taking revenge on our enemies while we wait for God to act.

Here are a few things that Letting God Work is…

Letting God work is regarding our Lord as the sovereign King that He is. It is staying faithful whether or not He delivers us from our trials. It is humbly accepting His will, even if it does not align with ours. It is learning to let it be, to let it go, and to leave our eventual vindication in God’s hands.

Though we may endure hardship upon hardship in this life…though we may have our name slung through the mud as people lie about us, slander us, and false accuse us…though we may be abused and mistreated by those we show nothing but devoted Christian love to…still we will trust in Him. Though the hurt be profuse, we Christians are a hardy people. We pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, and we get back in the saddle again. We cast our cares on Jesus…for we know that one blessed day, not too far off, we will enter a new age where we will be surrounded by fellow comrades for Christ, and the enemies of the cross will reign no longer. Our present trial will be but a distant memory, as we enter the Promised Land.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. – Psalm 37:7

Keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. – Jude 21

Has someone treated you like dirt? Let God Work.

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In conclusion…

How do you Hold Your Peace when you have been wronged?

You don’t “fly into a passion”. You don’t “fume and fret”. You don’t turn “mole-hills into mountains”.

Rather, you follow these 3 steps: You let it be, you let it go, and you let God work.

And above all, you…

May you be blessed, and remember to “forever hold your peace“.

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Good-bye, proud world! I’m going home:
Thou art not my friend, and I’m not thine.
Long through thy weary crowds I roam;
A river-ark on the ocean brine,
Long I’ve been tossed like the driven foam;
But now, proud world! I’m going home.

Good-bye to Flattery’s fawning face;
To Grandeur with his wise grimace;
To upstart Wealth’s averted eye;
To supple Office, low and high;
To crowded halls, to court and street;
To frozen hearts and hasting feet;
To those who go, and those who come;
Good-bye, proud world! I’m going home.

I am going to my own hearth-stone,
Bosomed in yon green hills alone, —
A secret nook in pleasant land,
Whose groves the frolic fairies planned;
Where arches green, the livelong day,
Echo the blackbird’s roundelay,
And vulgar feet have never trod
A spot that is sacred to thought and God.

– Excerpt from “Good-Bye” by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mr. Emerson speaks of a place that is so special, so set-apart, so sacred, that he would gladly give up the flattery, grandeur, wealth, and office of the world just to get there: his hallowed hearth. “Good-bye, proud world! I’m going home” is his happy cry as he travels homeward to find sweet solitude within his own four walls.

Hearth and Home, symbols once regarded with awe and reverence, have become insignificant and obsolete to many in our culture. In a world that values over-sharing, over-stimulus, and being on the go all the time, those who lead quiet and simple home-based lives are regarded as “backwards homebodies”. But does God share this negative view towards a lady of hearth and home?

Proverbs 27:8 notes that: Like a bird that wanders from its nest, so is a person who wanders from his home. (think: exposed, vulnerable, endangered)

Proverbs 7:11b describes a wicked woman in this way: “Her feet do not remain at home.*

(*Contrast this with the Proverbs 31 woman who “watches over the activities of her household” (v. 27), or the Titus 2 woman who is a “worker at home” (v. 5).)

In 1 Timothy 5:14, Paul urged young widows to get married so that they would focus on “keeping house” instead of gallivanting around town as a busybody, like so many are wont to do!

Though contrary to “worldly wisdom”, the homefront is exactly where God intends for women to spend the majority of their time. If you are a housewife, or a woman who spends much of her time at home, chances are that at one point or another you will be put down or even ridiculed for your humble lifestyle. Most modern-day people, (even some in the church), fail to see the value of the “homely” woman – they think she’s not being enough…she’s not doing enough…that frankly, she’s not enough. But take heart, your God-ordained task of keeping the home is worth more than gold. Today, I want to share with you three ways that women positively impact themselves and others by simply cultivating and maintaining a Hallowed Hearth. First up is by…

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The virtue of the soul does not consist in flying high, but in walking orderly.

– Montaigne, “Of Repentance,” Essays (1580-88)

Many women, though capable housewives, bemoan the drudgery of housework. “Aren’t I made for more?” one might ask herself. “I want to do something important! All I do is cook and clean all day. Where’s the spiritual meaning in that?” Others, in laziness, let their homes deteriorate into general disarray and filth, believing that the state of their living space has no real significance in the grand scheme of life. Still others go on to pursue careers or outside activities to fill their time, regarding these things to be a nobler calling than keeping the home.

Each of these three types of women have a faulty perspective in regard to the role of housewifery. They have not appreciated the value of The Ordered Room.

What if I told you that the state of your home is in direct correspondence to the state of your heart? Would you believe me if I said that imagining decor and imaging Deity are closely linked? Is it possible to fathom that following your recipe and following your Redeemer are both sacred acts?

Before you label me as a fruit loop or a heretic, hear me out on this. Have you ever considered that the God who loves propriety and order (1 Corinthians 14:40) just might be interested in rearing children who love propriety and order? In Genesis 1:26, God said, “let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness“. We see that God is a Father who wants to train up children after his nature. What is this nature? Here are a few aspects that He mentions: “be fruitful and multiply“, “fill the earth and subdue it“, and “rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:28). In layman’s terms, He said, “train some kids” (the spouse was already accounted for), “tackle some chores”, and “tend some animals”. You might be saying, “What?! I thought imaging God was doing some great feat!” Lest we be like Naaman, who balked at the simplicity of the task before him (2 Kings 5:10-14), we should rejoice that the Lord allows us to mirror Him in such simple ways.

Our God is a god of order. We can see His orderliness in all creation…from a simple bacteria, to the intricate human body, to the vast solar system. When we transform chaos into order and arrangement, we delight our Father by being His mini image-bearers. Child-rearing, cooking, tidying the house, conquering new skills, tending the garden, etc. are all fine examples of multiplying, subduing, and ruling in our little plot of earth. Far from being meaningless routine, homemaking is a sacred task. So order your room!

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. – Proverbs 24:3-4

The Ordered Room is a vital aspect of a Hallowed Hearth. The second way that ladies of hearth and home can positively impact themselves and others is by…

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The humblest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them.

– Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

• Does one have to be a missionary on a foreign field in order to serve?

• Is service only rewarding if the person we serve has a different last name from our own?

• Should service be measured by how many people can observe us serving on a public scale?

The answer to all these questions is a resounding no. However, there is a common misconception that service only counts when it adds mileage to your vehicle. What happened to the golden days of yore when it was oft said, “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world”? Less than a century ago, our ancestors believed that a woman’s sphere of influence was in the home, and not out of it. Nearly all women (up until World War I) were working behind the scenes, serving their families. Fast forward to today, and serving one’s family is considered of lesser value to outside pursuits…almost primitive.

We pondered in our previous point that imaging God doesn’t have to be some grand feat, but can take place even in the simplest of tasks – such as bringing order to a room. In much the same way, do we not image God’s Son when we offer our hand to serve our family on a daily basis? Is not the Messiah, who washed feet (John 13:12-15), well-pleased when we fold our husband’s laundry, serve our kids lunch, or groom the family pet? When we come before our families to serve rather than be served, we are being Christlike. (Matthew 20:28; Mark 10:45)

We are deceived when we buy into the narrative that service must be flashy, extravagant, and public. Offering a hand doesn’t have to mean being an ambassador to some far-away nation. Rather, the way a woman is called to serve is in humble fashion, among the household, making her husband’s home a haven. Jesus didn’t consider washing feet too “insignificant” a service to perform, nor should we hold this attitude towards housework. Serving can look like wiping a counter, sweeping a floor, preparing a meal, scrubbing a bathroom, and the like. If love for husband and children does not compel you, remember that your work is service to the Lord. (Colossians 3:23-24) Offering our hand to others in loving service is performing Kingdom work. So offer your hand!

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:31

The Offered Hand is a vital aspect of a Hallowed Hearth. The third way that ladies of hearth and home can positively impact themselves and others is by…

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Blest be that spot, where cheerful guests retire
To pause from toil and trim their evening fire;
Blest that abode, where want and pain repair,
And every stranger finds a ready chair.

– Oliver Goldsmith

The Ordered Room and The Offered Hand open the door to, well…The Opened Door. (I am told my puns are groan-inducing – oops.) When one combines a clean, orderly environment with a caring, serving heart, hospitality is made reachable. Let’s face it; no one wants to invite guests to a pigsty (nor does anyone want to be invited to a pigsty), and no one wants to invite guests to an uncharitable family setting (nor does anyone want to be invited into an uncharitable family setting). While some may boast that they offer the unedited, raw version of themselves to others – “this is who I am, take it or leave it” – such forward crudeness is inconsiderate, unladylike, and reveals a lack of character. We should honor our guests with the decency of a pleasant environment, in appearance and attitude alike. Give a little extra oomph to your tidying, and put a smile on your face. These actions will go a long way in making people feel welcome.

Women who work away from hearth and home are at a stark disadvantage in the hospitality department. For one thing, finding a time to invite people over is a very real challenge. Not to mention finding a time to ready the house for guests, or to feel capable of expending energy that has been sorely depleted in the workplace. Guests may even be a frustrating hindrance to the limited time she has to invest in her own family. This is just one of many reasons that I strongly encourage women (if their husbands allow them) to step out of the workforce and into full-time homemaking. A housewife has freedom of time and attentive focus that career women lack – two gifts that will greatly aid her in her ability to be a good hostess.

It’s worth pointing out that “hospitality”, though often used broadly to mean all manner of entertaining (mostly focused on family and friends), derives from the Greek word philoxenos: “the love of strangers”. While inviting family and friends over is a kind gesture and not without merit, the Bible primarily uses the idea of “hospitality” to address how we treat those who are not related or otherwise in our inner circle. There should be a special attention given to those who are “outsiders”…for example, inviting the visitor in worship service out to lunch, welcoming the new neighbor into your home for a cup of tea, or simply showing patience and understanding to the immigrant who is struggling to learn English. In the Old Testament, God’s people were commanded to treat strangers as one of their own, loving them as if they were one of their own (Leviticus 19:34), show justice towards strangers (Deuteronomy 27:19), and share of their food with them (Leviticus 19:10). The New Testament says that how we treat strangers is how we treat Jesus. (Matthew 25:35) Hospitality is imperative in our walk as Christians. So open your door!

A widow is to be put on the list only if she…has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. – 1 Timothy 9a,10b

The Opened Door is a vital aspect of a Hallowed Hearth.

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In conclusion…

A Hallowed Hearth consists of The Ordered Room, The Offered Hand, and The Opened Door. These three components will transform a humble house into a happy home, such as this beautiful quote encapsulates:

A true home is one of the most sacred of places. It is a sanctuary into which men flee from the world’s perils and alarms. It is a resting-place to which at close of day the weary retire to gather new strength for the battle and toils of tomorrow. It is the place where love learns its lessons, where life is schooled into discipline and strength, where character is molded. Few things we can do in this world are so well worth doing as the making of a beautiful and happy home. He who does this builds a sanctuary for God and opens a fountain of blessing for men. Far more than we know, do the strength and beauty of our lives depend upon the home in which we dwell. He who goes forth in the morning from a happy, loving, prayerful home, into the world’s strife, temptation, struggle, and duty, is strong-inspired for noble and victorious living.

– J.R. Miller

May your hearth be hallowed, homemaker.

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Think pink! think pink! when you shop for summer clothes.
Think pink! think pink! if you want that quel-que chose.
Red is dead, blue is through,
Green’s obscene, brown’s taboo.
And there is not the slightest excuse for plum or puce
—or chartreuse.
…
Now, I wouldn’t presume to tell a woman
what a woman oughtta think,
But tell her if she’s gotta think: think pink—!

—for bags! pink for shoes!
Razzle, dazzle and spread the news!
And pink’s for the lady with joie de vive!
Pinks for all the family.
Try pink shampoo.
Pink toothpaste too.
Play in pink, all day in pink,
Pretty gay in pink.

Drive in pink, come alive in pink,
Have a dive in pink.
…
Think pink! think pink, it’s the latest word, you know.
Think pink! think pink and you’re Michelangelo.

Feels so gay, feels so bright.
Makes you day, makes you night.
Pink is now the color to which
you gotta switch!
…
Think pink! think pink on the long, long road ahead.
…
Think pink and the world is rosey-red
…
Everything on the great horizon,
Everything that you can think—
and that includes the kitchen sink,
Think pink!
…
– excerpts of “Think Pink” lyrics from Funny Face (1957 Film)

If there is a record for the song that says “pink” more times than any other, this one just might take the cake. I counted 25 mentions, and this is only a portion of the whimsical song lyrics. That’s a whole lot of pink! While I’m more of a teal lover myself, I can appreciate a pretty shade of pink as much as the next girl – it’s just plain fun. However, (as I’m sure you’ve guessed) I’m not here to break down which color is most pleasing to the eye – I’m here to teach you how to Think Pink, and employ The Power of Positivity!

“Pink” (aside from being the color that results when one mixes red and white) can be defined as:

“The highest or best form, degree, or example of something”

So, if we are to have the highest and best form, degree, and example of thoughts, we need to Think Pink!

“Think pink! think pink on the long, long road ahead.
…
Think pink and the world is rosey-red“

No matter the trials we face along the way, we can choose to maintain a positive outlook – counting our blessings and dwelling on all that’s right in our life, rather than all that’s wrong. How we think has a profound effect on all three aspects of our human makeup – from soma, to soul, to spirit. Negative thinking patterns can bring great harm to our physical wellness, our social standing, and our relationship with God. Today, I want to share with you three ways that you can start “Thinking Pink” in order to level up your thought patterns, and consequently, your life. Firstly, to keep your soma in tip-top shape, you must…

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Wellness is a connection of paths: knowledge and action.

Joshua Holtz

Mr. Holtz is right on target. One must think healthy in order to be healthy. First we get the mind right, and then we move forward with action steps. As the famous saying goes, “you can’t pray for an A and study for a B”. Total wellness starts with 1.) right thoughts, coupled with 2.) right choices that help make our health a reality. Now, am I saying that if we think the right thoughts and make the right choices, we can always prevent all maladies (such as the common cold, stomach flu, diabetes, or cancer)? Of course not. “Time and chance overtake them all” says the scripture, and that includes illness; no one is 100% immune to health problems, no matter how healthy their mindset. With that being said, many of the fleshly trials we endure could be prevented or lessened by thinking healthy. Here are three examples…

Obesity can usually be avoided by thinking healthy about food and exercise. To be in shape, our mindset needs to be “eating to live” rather than “living to eat”, and we must learn to enjoy labor rather than giving in to sloth. Those who think, “It’s too hard. I’m just fat and I always will be” will never shed the pounds.

Lung cancer can usually be avoided by thinking healthy about tobacco usage. To have clear lungs, our mindset needs to be one of controlling our cravings rather than being controlled by our cravings. We humans quickly become a slave to anything we “have to have” – some to the point of death. Those who think, “I’ll never quit. I’m an addict and I always will be” will never put down the cigarettes.

Stomach ulcers can usually be avoided by thinking healthy about our problems. To have a healthy tummy, our mindset needs to be focused on our blessings rather than our curses. When “the joy of the Lord is our refuge“, our stress levels decrease dramatically. Those who think, “Nothing will ever be right for me. I’m anxious and depressed and I always will be” will never feel a sense of inner peace – in the tummy or the heart.

While not every illness can be avoided by a healthy mindset, many can. Furthermore, thinking healthy will be an aid to us when our body is at risk of falling prey to various illnesses. Consider the common cold. Thinking healthy makes us more aware of hygiene (i.e. washing hands, laundering clothes, wiping down door handles, etc.) when we have been exposed to others who are sick, thus lessening our chance of contracting the virus. Thinking healthy makes us reach for fruits and veggies rather than sugary confections when we have a cold, thus shortening the length of our downtime. Thinking healthy makes us value wellness, thus rendering us more grateful and productive in times of health and vigor. Thinking healthy benefits us before, during, and after illness. So think pink! Think healthy for a healthy soma.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. – Proverbs 17:22

Secondly, to keep your soul in tip-top shape, you must…

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The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

Martha Washington

Indeed, wise Mrs. Washington, our first First Lady. Maintaining a happy disposition no matter the circumstance is something we all seem to know is ideal, but so quickly forget to do when a “bad day” rolls around. Speaking of “bad days”, are they really so numerous as we believe them to be? One of my favorite convicting sayings is, “Was it a bad day? Or a bad 5 minutes that you milked all day?”. Bad days certainly exist, but let’s face it – more often than not, “bad days” are the result of milking a bad 5 minutes. We women can so easily become drama queens, throw ourselves a great big pity party over the smallest frustration, and waste away a good day on account of a bad attitude. If we’re honest with ourselves, we sometimes think (in a twisted way) that it feels good to feel bad. But is being miserable really all it’s cracked up to be?

Women who brood in misery set themselves up for all kinds of sin. They neglect to count their blessings. They grumble and complain. They lash out at their husbands and children. They say words they later regret. They use manipulation tactics, such as “the silent treatment”. They replay offenses in their mind again and again. They spill out gossip and slander to anyone who will listen, for “misery loves company”. They end up hindering their own relationships, because no one wants to be around someone who is chronically unhappy. The snowball effect continues. Nothing good comes from wallowing in self pity. Oswald Chambers said in his famous work, My Utmost For His Highest, that “self pity is of the devil”, and we would do well to remember this sobering truth.

So how do you think happy? You do the exact opposite of the scenario I painted above. Remember to count your blessings. Talk about things that are right rather than things that are wrong. Treat your family with kindness and gentility. Opt for silence when you feel out of control. Refuse to act childish and play head games. Forgive and forget offenses. Don’t air dirty laundry to others. Cultivate a cheerful disposition that makes people want to be around you. This time, the snowball effect is filled with rich rewards. So think pink! Think happy for a happy soul.

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. – Psalm 94:19

Thirdly, to keep your spirit in tip-top shape, you must…

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You are not what you think you are, but what you think…you are!

– David Jeremiah

This sermon-title-turned-quote from David Jeremiah hits the nail on the head. The things that we choose to think about are, in essence, our identity. Every day, the thoughts that we dwell on are building us into the person we will become…for better or worse. When I was a teenager and struggling with low self-esteem, I would sometimes bemoan, “I’m so ugly!” Without skipping a beat, my father would always reply: “If you think ugly, you are ugly. If you think pretty, you are pretty.” My response was probably something along the lines of, “Okay, sure Dad, thanks…but I’m still ugly. My mirror doesn’t lie.” As an adult, I realize that in his clever rebuttal to my laments of ugliness, there are at least two positive messages to extract…

1.) Confidence is key. The way that we view ourselves affects the way that we show up in the world. People often view us the way we view ourselves. Poor self-esteem is unappealing, while confidence is attractive. When we think, “I’m pretty”, and go on to act like it, we set the tone for how others see us.

2.) Inner beauty trumps outer beauty. (This is not to say that outer beauty is insignificant – only less important overall) If your thoughts are hideous, you are hideous. If your thoughts are gorgeous, you are gorgeous. When you cultivate inner beauty, worthwhile people who get to know you will see a value that goes beyond physical appearance.

Do you think ugly, or do you think pretty? What do you fill your mind with? Love, or hate? Positivity, or negativity? Life, or death? Forgiveness, or revenge? Blessings, or curses? Sweet words, or swear words? Contentment, or covetousness? Fidelity, or adultery? Obedience, or defiance? Hope, or despair? Truth, or lies? Remember, what we think…we are. So think pink! Think holy for a holy spirit.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. – Psalm 19:14

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In conclusion…

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. – Philippians 4:8

In this famous passage, Paul and Timothy gave a beautiful summary of what it is to Think Pink. These two men encountered various trials in their lives, but nonetheless chose to embrace The Power of Positivity. We also can choose to Think Healthy, Think Happy, and Think Holy, no matter our circumstances. If you have a tendency to fall into negativity and pessimism, my challenge to you is to start Thinking Pink. Use the Philippians passage to guide you…it’s not just pretty words to display on a Bible cover, but the message holds the key to defeating negativity and embracing positive thinking.

Think Pink. Do it for your soma. Do it for your soul. Do it for your spirit.

If your soma is sound, you’re healthy. If your soul is sound, you’re happy. If your spirit is sound, you’re holy.

Dustin Bolks

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.