Whether the weather is fine, whether the weather is not
Whether the weather is cold, whether the weather is hot
We’ll weather the weather, whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not.

– Anonymous British Poem

This little ditty is often the reason behind dramatic rolled eyes and painful sighs in my home. When my children start complaining about the temps outdoors, they can be sure that their mother will start reciting this old standby to them…much to their chagrin. It may not be their favorite rhyme, but I hope that as they grow they will learn to see the wisdom in it. I hope that they will be adults who seek joy and contendedness in all seasons…no matter how dreary it may seem at the time.

Truth be told, I myself am not a big fan of Wintertime. Give me sunshine, short sleeves, and the beach any day…someone else can take the snow, the hundred bajillion layers of clothing, and the arctic tundra winds! Okay, okay, I digress. Even though I’ve never particularly enjoyed this time of year, I have learned to have peace with it. Winter is just a part of life for many regions! We can either choose to mope around for three or more months wishing it were a different season, or we can choose to accept this season for what it has to offer and allow it to grow us.

Adults and children alike, we all typically prefer good weather to bad, do we not?

Yet whether we are speaking of the current condition of our atmosphere or the current season of our life, God has ordained both good and bad weather. We must learn to “weather the weather”…for every kind of season can and will be for our ultimate good, if we will let it be.

For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every sky has it’s beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously. – George Gissing, “Winter”, The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft (1903)

Today we are going to learn three truths about Winter that just may help us to look at this season in a brand new way…

1. Winter Is Inevitable
(It’s bound to happen)

For those of us who live away from the equator, Winter always comes at least once a year, does it not? You’d think we’d get accustomed to it as a part of life. Yet year after year I hear people complaining….complaining about Winter’s coming…complaining for three months while Winter is occurring…and when Winter is finally over, complaining that Winter will return all too soon. Unfortunately, I used to be one of these people…that is until I started to loathe the vicious cycle that left me a miserable nag for a quarter of the year!

Did you ever consider that the same God who made the Springtime flowers, Summer sunshine, and Fall harvest also made the Winter snow? We need to respect God’s plan for nature. This whole circle of life happening around us is for HIS glory…not ours.

Thou hast set all the borders of the earth: thou hast made summer and *winter.
– Psalm 74:17

While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and *winter, and day and night shall not cease. – Genesis 8:22

For he saith to the *snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength. – Job 37:6

Friends, Winter is inevitable..part of God’s design. We can’t change Winter weather or stop it from coming, but here’s the good news: we can prepare for it, and adjust to it. We can add that extra quilt on the bed…we can add extra layers of clothing to our bodies…we can kick up the heat a notch. In all honesty, we should be thankful that we even have the means to do these things! God is so good to provide us with what we need for all seasons.

If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. – Proverbs 24:10

Now let us consider “Winter” in the spiritual sense. God has also ordained trials to occur in the life of His children at certain seasons. All of us will have our “Winters”, and just as with the physical Winter, we need to accept spiritual Winters as a part of life. They will come, and we need to have the strength and acceptance to persevere through them…and even have joy through our trials.

I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things. – Isaiah 45:7

So that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been *destined for this. For indeed when we were with you we kept telling you in advance that we were going to suffer affliction; and so it came to pass, as you know. – 1 Thessalonians 3:3-4 NASB

Perhaps some of us will have children who go astray. Some of us might lose a job…get in an accident…be betrayed by a friend. Some of us may even lose our beloved spouse (whether it be by choice or by death). These are all hard pills to swallow – some are devastating. Yet in the midst of the pain, we can find a light at the end of the tunnel…if we remember that God has a purpose in our suffering. We will touch on this in our next point…

Because the birdsong might be pretty,
But it’s not for you they sing,
And if you think my winter is too cold,
You don’t deserve my spring.
– Erin Hanson

2. Winter is Incidental
(It happens for a reason)

Been walking my mind to an easy time
My back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows
It’ll turn your head around.

– James Taylor, Fire And Rain

This classic song really resonates with me. Isn’t it true of us, that when we have our “back turned towards the sun” (or rather, the SON – living the easy life and forgetting our Creator), God often sends a “cold wind” (hardship) our way that will “turn our head around” (set us back on track)? Our tendency is to draw closer to God during times of struggle. It shouldn’t be this way…we should keep our focus on Him at all times. Unfortunately this is not always the case, and our Father knows it.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. – Anne Bradstreet

Winter is incidental. In nature, it occurs when the Northern Hemisphere is tilted away from the sun. It works much the same way spiritually…by cause and effect. Trials often occur when we have tilted away from Christ. Feebleminded as we humans can be, we sometimes need a good knock upside the head to get us back on the Straight and Narrow. Many times, Winter is that painful blow. It is up to us to respond to it as God intends!

Our Father can teach us a lot about our own spirit by observing the animals He has made and how they respond to Wintertime. Consider this:

• For some animals, Winter is their cue to migrate. Where do they go? They travel closer to the sun, and away from the dark, cold days of Winter. This is the effect that Winter should have on us. It is a wake-up call for when we have started slipping, and true followers of Christ will be moved by it. We will stand up, dust ourselves off, and get serious about our faith again.
• Other animals hibernate, or go into a state of deep sleep. Is this not much like what some people will do? Instead of allowing Winter to push them closer to the sun, they just go into a heavy slumber. Rather than growing through the hard times, they merely feel sorry for themselves and hole up in walls of bitterness.
• Some animals change their fur color to reflect the snowy landscape around them. When we fall on hard times, we might go so far as to reject God and sink even further into Winter. Perhaps we will take on the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” attitude and blend in to the world. We might let others convince us that we can drown away our sorrows by such evils as drunkenness, drug abuse, or fornication.
• Still others might grow a thicker fur to keep warm. This is what we do when we stop trusting in the Lord, and instead rely on our own strength to get us through affliction. It is essentially doing the same thing Adam and Eve did – trying to cover their sin with a covering of their own making. Of course this is just another way of avoiding the true problem – our need for maturity.

The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble. – Proverbs 4:19

Give glory to the Lord your God, before he cause darkness, and before your feet stumble upon the dark mountains, and, while ye look for light, he turn it into the shadow of death, and make it gross darkness. – Jeremiah 13:16

Now I want it to be understood that every time something bad happens to us, it’s not because we personally have sinned. One only has to read the book of Job to know that much! Sometimes Winter comes upon us for our own good, sometimes it comes upon us for someone else’s! Sometimes it comes as a teaching moment to an on-looking friend, or someone that we can be an encouragement to later on, or even to tell a story to future generations. Whatever the case, Winter is a strong message that life away from God is cold, dark, and dreary. We would be wise to stop and consider!

3. Winter Is Indelible
(It’s happening changes us)

Winter, physically or spiritually speaking, can really take a toll on us. Yet if we will be faithful and endure to the end of the season, we will see Spring come around once more. Seasons change, and in so doing they change us. Through it all, we will either get bitter or get better! Hopefully as we go through the years we will start to have a healthy respect for Winter…and remember what our life can be if we don’t dwell in the light of the sun.

And now men see not the bright light which is in the clouds: but the wind passeth, and cleanseth them. Fair weather cometh out of the North: with God is terrible majesty. – Job 37:21-22

This passage is so powerful. Shame on us when we are too blind to see the light of day. It’s no wonder God sends Winter to this earth when we don’t remember Him when things are easy! We may loathe the harsh winds of Winter, but how can we when we know this is for our cleansing? Would we rather be comfortable and deceived, or uncomfortable and received?

He had heard an inarticulate promise: he had been pierced by Spring, that sharp knife. – Thomas Wolfe

The good times may be more desirable, but would we choose them in order to stay in darkness? Trials may save our very souls.

Winter is indelible. Once we have known true struggle, we aren’t apt to forget it.
If we are teachable, every Winter will be a welcome reminder that…

• The chill in the air is reminiscent of the chill that can grow inside our hearts.
• Slippery sidewalks remind us how dangerous it is to slip away from Christ.
• Barren trees whisper to us of a lack of spiritual vitality.
• Longer nights and shorter days represent the darkness we’ve allowed to replace the light.

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. – Hebrews 12:8

Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. – Ecclesiastes 7:3-4

“Winters in Russia are so harsh that they are a natural defense during war. For example, rather than entering into peace negotiations with Napoleon Bonaparte, Tsar Alexander 1 decided to let Russia’s cold winter deal with the French invaders.”

Source: www.factretriever.com

“59 Cold Facts About Winter” by Karin Lehnardt, November 2016

Winter can drive the enemy away. Satan would love to see our afflictions become stumbling blocks, but we should see them as valuable weapons of warfare!

She is not afraid of the *snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. – Proverbs 31:21

Winter is inevitable and incidental, but it is also indelible. If we will take the Winter season with a good attitude and notebook in hand, it will leave an impression on us that can last a lifetime and on into eternity. Only a fool comes out of a hardship having learned nothing of value. Those who fear the Lord will come out of their hardships wiser, stronger, and more in love with their Father than ever before.

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. – Albert Camus

For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.
– Kin Hubbard

Yes, I’m adopted.
My folks were not blessed
With me in the usual way.
But they picked me,
they chose me,
From all the rest,
Which is lots more than most kids can say.

“Jake Says” by Shel Silverstein

Adopted. Picked. Chosen.

What wonderful words to be described by! Furthermore, what a blessing for any woman to receive the gift of a child for her own loving son or daughter.

Adoption…it’s been going on for thousands of years, but is still misunderstood by so many. Truth be told, it is only through my own experience as an adoptive mother that I have come to understand (and so adore) this wonderful journey of becoming a mother to the motherless.

I remember that when I was a little girl, I was always thoroughly confused by the story in 1 Kings 3:16-28. You know it…the one about the two women who came to King Solomon fighting over a baby. I will include a portion of it below:

• 23: Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.
  
• 24: And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.
• 25: And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.
• 26: Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.
• 27: Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.
• 28: And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.

1 Kings 3:23-28

I remember wondering in my youth how accurate King Solomon’s “DNA test” was – I mean sure, it was nice and all that the one lady didn’t want the baby to die, but how did that really prove the baby’s biological relation to her? It wasn’t until years later when I became a mother, that this stark reality hit me right in the face…

It didn’t prove it. Furthermore, it didn’t matter! King Solomon’s wisdom was not in finding out who gave birth to the child. No, the test was so much more than that. A mother is not measured by whether or not she gives birth to her child…but by whether or not she gives worth to her child. This woman’s motherhood was proven not by a DNA Test, but by a simple Mother’s Love Test. The true mother was blatantly obvious to the king – she was the one who had the best interest of her child at the forefront of her mind. I still don’t know to this day if the baby went home with his biological mother – but I know with complete certainty that he went home with his real mother.

• If you are biologically related to your children, don’t go anywhere! This message is not only for adoptive mothers, but to all mothers of every shape and form. I hope that your relationship will be strengthened with your child as you ponder how to attain motherhood at its finest.
• If you are contemplating adoption, I hope my words will encourage you to be all you can be for the child in your future. I hope that you will be prepared to build a bond with your new son or daughter that will tie you together through eternity.
• If you are an adoptive mother, I hope that you will find positive affirmation in my message. I hope that you will see the authenticity of who you are…and never, ever feel as if you’re not the real deal.
• If you are a naysayer, I hope that you will consider the reasoning behind your opposition. I hope that you will come to see that being a mother is so, so much more than matching DNA.

– Today we are going to ask ourselves this important question:

“Am I a real mother, or am I a fraud?”

Let us find out by three simple tests…

1. A real mother provides needs.

Take a moment to think about your child in regard to his/her physical needs.
Are you the primary caretaker of your child’s body?

Who…

• Prepares their meals?
• Buys their clothes?
• Supplies them with a warm bed?

Some would claim to be mothers solely on the basis of having given birth to a child, but how legitimate is their so-called motherhood if they do not oversee the care of the child’s physical needs once he/she is on the other side of the womb? One woman might oversee a child’s physical needs for a mere nine months, while another oversees that same child’s needs for some eighteen years. It seems to me rather obvious which one is the real mother of the child, but here is a hint on her identity:

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. – Proverbs 31:27

A real mother is physically present to her child. She can not mother from a distance! To call a woman who does not dwell with her offspring “the child’s real mother” is a misnomer.

Now I want to be very clear that I am not belittling or bashing women who choose to give a child up for adoption. This choice is often made through careful deliberation and perhaps much pain. Many times it is in the best interest of the child. Giving a child up for adoption does not necessarily make a biological mother a bad person (though there are exceptions, i.e.: her rights were relinquished involuntarily for abandonment and neglect). HOWEVER, once the decision has been made to sever the former parent/child relationship, the biological mother is no longer the mother to the child. Is she contemptible for this? Absolutely not…but the fact still remains that the child’s adoptive mother is now Mom in every sense from there on out.

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else’s child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

– Rita Laws PHD, OURS: The Magazine of Adoptive Families

2. A real mother promotes deeds.

Take a moment to think about your child in regard to his/her emotional needs.
Are you the primary caretaker of your child’s soul?

Who…

• Spends time training them?
• Points out their talents?
• Sets them up for success?

A real mother promotes deeds by fashioning her child’s day…by setting his/her hands towards productivity and growth. She sees the good in her child and encourages it. She sees the bad and nips it in the bud! She is the guiding light that molds her children into the very best version of themselves.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. – Psalms 127:4

It baffles me that there are women out there who call a child theirs whom they have not shaped in any way, and know virtually nothing about. A real mother knows her child because she spends her life with her child. She makes it her priority to learn his/her individual personality so that she can train accordingly. The mother/child relationship she has with her child grows daily, because as they spend time together they build a greater and more lasting bond.

Time and experience have taught me a priceless lesson: Any child you take for your own becomes your own if you give of yourself to that child. I have born two children and had seven others by adoption, and they are all my children, equally beloved and precious.

– Dale Evans

A real mother knows her child’s favorite color, and what kind of food he hates, and what he wants to be when he grows up. She is her child’s biggest fan. A real mother is known not by the relation she holds, but by the station she holds.

Any woman who would attempt to steal the role or title of mother, having little to no connection to the child in question is as selfish as they come. Real motherhood is blood, sweat, and tears…it is hard work and toil. It is not abandoning a child when the going gets rough and then deciding down the road you want to reap the fruits of another’s labor. What cruelty to the heart of the one who has raised the child and invested their life in them!

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. – Psalm 113:9

3. A Real Mother Produces Seeds.

Take a moment to think about your child in regard to his/her spiritual needs.
Are you the primary caretaker of your child’s spirit?

Who…

• Prays with them?
• Reads the bible to them?
• Takes them to church?

God’s word urges parents to lead their children’s thoughts heavenward continually…day by day. A real mother does not neglect this task but seeks to make every moment count as she trains her children up spiritually.

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. – Deuteronomy 6:6-7

I believe it is safe to say that to have the kind of parent/child relationship described above, one must be with their child day in and day out. As parents, it is our duty to train our children up in the way they should go. This is motherhood at its very realest.

It should be noted that even Jesus himself placed a far greater priority on such spiritual relations than biological relations:

There came then his brethren and his mother, and standing without, sent unto him, calling him. And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother. – Mark 3:31-35

Our Lord is a great advocate for adoption. In fact, adoption is how we become a member of God’s family! (Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:5, Ephesians 1:5) We were born to a world of sin and destruction. Would we identify with this evil world because we are in a sense its biological offspring? God forbid that this would be so! Rather we are to be identified by our true, real, and adoptive father…God.

A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. – Psalms 68:5

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. – Psalms 27:10

If your desire is to be the most authentic mother possible to your child, this is the way to do it:

Be a godly example to them. Lead from the front – they need to see you refraining from sin as well as seeking to do good continually. They need to know that God is number one in your life! Example is important, but do not neglect also to help your child see truth for themselves. Teach them God’s word…show them the right way to go…make faith real to them personally! Caring for the body and soul of your child can build a lifetime bond. Caring for the spirit of your child can build an eternal bond.

My birth mother brought me into this world, but it was my adoptive parents who gave me life. – Christina Romo

In conclusion…

A real mother is one who truly loves her child. This is not in her imagination, but in reality.

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. – 1 John 3:18

To understand adoption, we must rise above carnality. We must embrace the ability to love someone irrevocably without biological relation. It is not by DNA, but by these three characteristics that you will know a real mother:

1. Is she providing needs? (of the body)
2. Is she promoting deeds? (of the soul)
3. Is she producing seeds? (of the spirit)

Bottom line: There are birth mothers who are real mothers, and there are those who are not. There are also adoptive mothers who are real mothers, and still…there are those who are not. The test lies herein: If a woman can be identified by her performance of the three traits above, then you will know that she assuredly has – The Mark of a Mother.

I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.

– Unknown

Most people like adoption. I’m happy I got adopted, because I have a good mom! I have the best mom in the world! – My seven year old son (adopted, picked, and chosen)

For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.