Destress the Damsel

O be careful little eyes what you see
O be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
So, be careful little eyes what you see

And so begins the popular children’s song. It goes on to give these exhortations:

O be careful little ears what you hear…
O be careful little tongue what you say…
O be careful little hands what you do…
O be careful little feet where you go…
O be careful little heart whom you trust…
O be careful little mind what you think…

Though the childish tune may not be a chart-topping hit, the simple message of this song is as relevant to the 30 year old woman as it is to the 3 year old girl. Keeping a pure heart is a lifelong pursuit.

Did you notice the pattern the song follows?

The author of this song wisely noted that our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions. If we want to have positive perceptions, devotions, and actions, then it stands to reason that we must be shrewd in our observations. We must be diligent to avoid seeing and hearing things that are unfit for the eyes and ears of pure ladies. One way to accomplish this is by having “remote control”. That is, by being intentional about the content we view on our televisions.

The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! – Matthew 5:22-23

[Now, if you are a married woman, then your husband is the head of your home. I urge you to defer to his film choices. If his taste is for impure entertainment, I suggest a) sitting beside him while occupying your mind with another activity such as needlework or a book; b) respectfully asking to be excused from the room for the duration of the show; or c) making an appeal for different content in a spirit of meekness. Submit to him as unto the Lord.]

In our home, my husband has given me the task of selecting films for our weekly family movie nights. This means that I have a responsibility to select quality content for our family of four, which includes our two teenage sons. Will I be a wise woman and build up my home through pure film choices? Or will I be a foolish woman who tears down my home by poor film choices? It all comes down to my remote control.

There are several websites out there that review movies from a spiritual perspective, allowing you to vet the content of a movie before (or, in lieu of) viewing it. I often use www.pluggedin.com, as they are quite thorough with their reviews, and their movie lists are extensive. With their cut-and-dry approach, I am able to assess fairly quickly whether or not a movie is suitable for our family.

What do I look for to test a movie’s suitability? Today, I want to share with you three questions I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins. I ask myself:

The word “rude” is defined as follows: something offensively impolite or ill-mannered. Synonyms include ungentlemanly, unladylike, uncivil, discourteous, and audacious.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out rude behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: bathroom “humor”, crude language, mockery of ethnic/religious groups, etc.

Rude behavior does not necessarily always equate with immoral behavior, but it certainly straddles the line and should make us pause to consider the wisdom of viewing such a film. A movie may be lawful to view, but is it profitable? (1 Corinthians 6:12) Is it filling our family’s minds up with true, honorable, pure, lovely, reputable, excellent, or praiseworthy thoughts? (Philippians 4:8) Opinions on what does or does not constitute as rude will vary from family to family, so I will merely offer some questions you might ask yourself to gauge the rudeness of a film:

These questions may serve as a guide to choosing more quality content. Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe rude behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in rude ways, devote ourselves to rude people, and perceive the world in a rude way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it rude?

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. – Proverbs 13:20

We do not want anyone in our family to keep company with fools, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

Another question I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins is this:

The word “lewd” is defined as follows: something crude and offensive in a sexual way. Synonyms include indecent, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, and explicit.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out lewd behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: seductive conduct, sensual kissing, and sexual acts.

Lewd behavior can be highly enticing, no matter one’s spiritual convictions – especially to the male gender. Men are wired (by God) to respond to visual stimulus, which is why pornography never has and never will go out of style. Those in the movie industry are well aware of man’s temptation to lust, and play on this by sprinkling sensuality into just about every movie that hits the box office. Lewdness may have no effect on you as a female…and if you are a good wife who keeps her man on empty, it may have little to no effect on your husband…but I implore you above all to think of your sons when selecting films that may include lewd content. Young men are without an outlet, having no spouse to fulfill their budding desires. Observing lewdness will only serve to stoke fires that have no way of being put out. Help your son to flee youthful lusts by setting only clean movies before him – this is one of the best kindnesses you can offer him and potentially, his future wife.

Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe lewd behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in lewd ways, devote ourselves to lewd people, and perceive the world in a lewd way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it lewd?

You have heard that it was said, ‘you shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. – Matthew 5:27-29

We do not want anyone in our family to lust after someone they are not married to, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

Another question I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins is this:

The word “booed” is defined as follows: something accompanied with contempt or disapproval. Synonyms include decried, disdained, reviled, censured, and condemned.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out booed behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: lying, violence, and disregard for authority.

Booed behavior is any conduct explicitly denounced in scripture…and Hollywood is rife with such. Long gone are the good old days where the majority of movies had a moral message: protagonist does wrong, protagonist learns the error of their ways, protagonist changes for the better. (Did I just accidentally provide the synopsis for A Christmas Carol?) Nowadays, protagonists in most films sin, get away with it, and go on to sin some more while inviting others to do the same.

It’s easy to get desensitized to movie sins when…

Lies are portrayed as protection. Gory violence is portrayed as self-defense. Disregard for authority is portrayed as bravery. Homosexuality is portrayed as love. Stealing is portrayed as borrowing. The list goes on…anything is portrayed as justifiable as long as we are rooting for the character doing it. But the question is, should we be rooting for a character who is in opposition to God’s ways? Should we applaud what the Lord boos?

Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe booed behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in booed ways, devote ourselves to booed people, and perceive the world in a booed way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it booed?

Being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. – Romans 1:29-32 (emphasis added)

We do not want anyone in our family to give hearty approval to evildoers, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

In conclusion…

When selecting family films, I encourage you to put each movie through this vetting process:

If it is rude, lewd, or booed, then why is it being viewed? Ask yourself: “do I control my remote, or does my remote control me?” I believe we all could do well to improve our sense of remote control.

I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not fasten its grip on me. – Psalm 101:2b-3

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.