Destress the Damsel

Money’s not important
You’ll hear some people say
But try getting by without it
With all those bills to pay

It really is essential now
Without it life gets tougher
Just like air and water
Without it you would suffer

You need it for the clothes you buy
And the roof above your head
Then there’s all the food you eat
And a warm and comfy bed

Don’t deny your need for dosh
It makes the world go round
Everyone needs money
The dollar or the pound

By helping other people
You can earn a lot of cash
But don’t forget to save a little
And build a decent stash

When saving for your future
Make an early start
Money should be in your head
But never in your heart

– “Money” by Roy Sutton

Mr. Sutton has summarized man’s need for money in a way simple enough for a child to grasp. 1 Timothy 6:10 warns us that, “the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil”. (This passage is commonly misquoted as “money is the root of all evil”, but there’s quite a difference between the two ideas.) I believe the poem helps clear up the misnomer cleanly and concisely: “money should be in your head, but never in your heart”. Money is merely a tool, neither good nor evil…what matters is our attitude towards money and the use thereof.

My #1 goal at Destress the Damsel is to encourage women to acknowledge, accept, and assimilate their God-given roles as wives, mothers, and homemakers. One significant way that women can step into their purpose is by recognizing The Power of Prudence. The way you wield money can bear an incredible impact on your marriage, your children, and your home. Check out this poignant passage:

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. – Proverbs 19:14

The Bible places more emphasis on the prudence of a man’s wife than it does on his house or his wealth. One is an inheritance of a father, but the other is an inheritance of The Father. House and wealth can be lost all too easily, but prudence is a lasting quality of immeasurable value. Do you desire to be a gift from God to your husband? In many ways, your money choices dictate what kind of wife you will be. Today, I am going to share with you two choices that can monetarily make or break your home. You could pick…

But beware: The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave. – Proverbs 22:7

Debt is a curse. Scripture goes so far as to call it a form of slavery. Unwise use of credit brings short-term pleasure and long-term pain…

While items purchased on credit may bring temporary satisfaction, consider the hefty opportunity cost. Time spent with loved ones…peace in the home…a good name…are these blessings worth throwing away in order to have more stuff? Unless you happen to be of a royal bloodline, the inheritor of a large fortune, or one who stumbles upon the “x” that marks a pirate’s gold stash, you are unlikely to have it all. And so you must choose what is most important to you.

Do you struggle with poor money habits? I am no financial expert, and the advice I have to offer is nothing that hasn’t been said before. Even so, I find these tips to be useful in my life, and perhaps they may be in yours as well:

If you currently have debt, get it paid off post haste. Pick up an extra shift at work, skimp on groceries, have a garage sale…do what it takes to climb out of the hole you’re in so you can start with a fresh slate. If you use credit cards, make sure to pay them off monthly…if you don’t, those interest rates will suck your bank account dry. Make a workable budget…and stick to it. Stop window shopping…in-person or online. Prioritize wants vs. needs…and furthermore, prioritize big wants vs. little wants/short-term wants vs. long-term wants. Resist impulse buying. Practice patience. Bottom line: don’t spend what you don’t have.

If you choose to spend what you don’t have, you risk causing a split, a stress, and a shame for your family. So allow me to suggest picking this instead…

Because: There is precious treasure and oil in the home of the wise, but a foolish person swallows it up. – Proverbs 21:20

If we aim to be wise women who build our homes instead of tearing them down, we must be controlled in our finances…we must prioritize saving over spending…we must have a big-picture mindset rather than giving in to every little desire that flashes before our eyes. Saving brings short-term pain and long-term pleasure…

Saying “no” to more stuff and saying “yes” to more self-control is going to bring lasting benefits to your life in the long run. Many women will come to look at their material possessions with regret later in life, for the high cost it brought to their family. I daresay there are few women who will come to the end of their life, lamenting, “if only I had amassed more things and spent less time with my husband and kids.” Invest in the people in your life more than your possessions. I assure you that bringing your family close, bringing your family calm, and bringing your family clout will bring you far more lasting joy than all the things money can buy. Get a handle on your finances, so you can have what you don’t spend.

In conclusion…

Prudence is a powerful virtue that can make or break a home.

You can spend what you don’t have, and risk causing a split, a stress, and a shame for your family.

OR…

You can have what you don’t spend, and bring your family close, bring your family calm, and bring your family clout.

As for me, I want to choose the option that says, “I am a prudent wife from the Lord”. What say you?

Employ the power of prudence today. Your tomorrow self will thank you.

Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. – Proverbs 15:16-17

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.