The finest tribute we can pay
Unto our hero dead to-day,
Is not a rose wreath, white and red,
In memory of the blood they shed;
It is to stand beside each mound,
Each couch of consecrated ground,
And pledge ourselves as warriors true
Unto the work they died to do.

Into God’s valleys where they lie
At rest, beneath the open sky,
Triumphant now o’er every foe,
As living tributes let us go.
No wreath of rose or immortelles
Or spoken word or tolling bells
Will do to-day, unless we give
Our pledge that liberty shall live.

Our hearts must be the roses red
We place above our hero dead;
To-day beside their graves we must
Renew allegiance to their trust;
Must bare our heads and humbly say
We hold the Flag as dear as they,
And stand, as once they stood, to die
To keep the Stars and Stripes on high.

The finest tribute we can pay
Unto our hero dead to-day
Is not of speech of roses red,
But living, throbbing hearts instead,
That shall renew the pledge they sealed
With dead upon the battlefield:
That freedom’s flag shall bear no stain
And free men wear no tyrant’s chain.

“Memorial Day’ by Edgar Albert Guest

Perhaps Mr. Guest penned the above poem with Memorial Day in mind (and certainly its message is most appropriate for the holiday); but I believe the poet’s ennobling words can also extend to another holiday: Election Day. The overarching theme of our poem is this: “actions speak louder than words (or flowers)”. What we do with our freedom bestows more honor upon our fallen soldiers than any fine speech or bouquet ever could.

This Election Day, I present you with a question: “What is the finest tribute we can pay — unto our hero dead today?” I propose the following answer:

In 2020, we must honor the fallen with our vote.

Everything that American soldiers have died to protect for nearly two and a half centuries (life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness) is on the ballot this year. Will you or I stand idly by and allow their sacrifice to be in vain by a) neglecting to vote, or b) casting our vote for a party that seeks to destroy 240+ years of the blood, sweat, and tears of The Courageous Few? God forbid it to be so. We must never let our military’s sacrifice be lost on us.

Now, there are conflicting viewpoints on politics at every turn. All these differing voices can leave the American citizen at a loss as to whose voice to listen to. Republicans and Democrats alike have strong opinions, convincing arguments, and the ability to appeal to people of various personality types. How can one know which circle to fill in on the ballot? How does one go about Choosing a Chief?

Today, I implore you to follow three vital steps before casting your vote.

“That freedom’s flag shall bear no stain
And free men wear no tyrant’s chain.“

Step #1 in Choosing a Chief:

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What is the inerrant source of morality that has stood the test of time? That’s right, the Bible…God’s word. The Bible is where we get our standard for all things pertaining to life and godliness. This November, we have a right and responsibility to choose a chief that will uphold a common morality for the American people. Of the two main party platforms (R: Trump/Pence, and D: Biden/Harris), there is one that promotes morality and one that diminishes morality. Time and space will not allow me to cover every topic in which the two parties differ on moral viewpoints. With that being said, we will only be considering three of these topics…though I think they provide more than enough evidence as to which party desires to uphold the things of God, and which party desires to snuff out godly living.

1. The Parties on Matters of Money:

Biden/Harris:

“…Democrats commit to forging a new social and economic contract with the American people – a contract that invests in the people and promotes shared prosperity, not one that benefits only big corporations and the wealthiest few. One that affirms housing is a right and not a privilege, and which makes a commitment that no one will be homeless or go hungry in the richest country on earth.”

(source: www.demconvention.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/2020-07-31-Democratic-Party-Platform-For-Distribution.pdf page 14; emphasis mine)

Trump/Pence:

“This is the progressive pathology: Keeping people dependent so that government can redistribute income. The result is 45.8 million people on food stamps and 77 million on Medicaid, plus another 5.7 million in the children’s Health Insurance Program. This is the false compassion of the status quo. We propose instead the dynamic compassion of work requirements in a growing economy, where opportunity takes the place of a hand-out, where true self-esteem can grow from the satisfaction of a job well done.”

(source: https://prod-cdn-static.gop.com/docs/Resolution_Platform_2020.pdf page 32)

What God has to say on Matters of Money:

They shall not build and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands. – Isaiah 65:22

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. – 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12

2. The Parties on Matters of Marriage:

Biden/Harris:

“Democrats will protect and promote the equal rights of all our citizens…LGBTQ+…”

“We will amplify the voices of LGBTQ+ persons around the world…”

(source: www.demconvention.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/2020-07-31-Democratic-Party-Platform-For-Distribution.pdf page 6, 83; emphasis mine)

Trump/Pence:

“Traditional marriage and family, based on marriage between one man and one woman, is the foundation for a free society and has for millennia been entrusted with rearing children and instilling cultural values.”

“Our laws and our government’s regulations should recognize marriage as the union of one man and one woman and actively promote married family life as the basis of a stable and prosperous society.”

(source: https://prod-cdn-static.gop.com/docs/Resolution_Platform_2020.pdf page 11, 31-32)

What God has to say on Matters of Marriage:

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. – Mark 10:6-8

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. – Romans 1:26-27

3. The Parties on Matters of Murder:

Biden/Harris:

“Democrats are committed to protecting and advancing reproductive health, rights, and justice. We believe, unequivocally, like the majority of Americans, that every woman should be able to access high-quality reproductive health care services, including safe and legal abortion.”

(source: www.demconvention.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/2020-07-31-Democratic-Party-Platform-For-Distribution.pdf page 32)

Trump/Pence:

“The Constitution’s guarantee that no one can ‘be deprived of life, liberty, or property’ deliberately echoes the Declaration of Independence’s proclamation that ‘all’ are ‘endowed by their Creator’ with the inalienable right to life. Accordingly, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed.”

(source: https://prod-cdn-static.gop.com/docs/Resolution_Platform_2020.pdf page 13)

What God has to say on Matters of Murder:

If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall surely be punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life. – Exodus 21:22-23

Cursed be he that taketh reward to slay an innocent person. And all the people shall say, Amen. – Deuteronomy 27:25

Considering the topics of money, marriage, and murder alone, can you discern for yourself which party stands for morality, and which one stands against? Which platform aligns with God’s word, and which one aligns with hedonistic pursuits such as covetousness, homosexuality, and abortion? When exercising your right to vote on November 3, I implore you to use your morals!

Step # 2 in Choosing a Chief:

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Aside from using your morals, a good vote involves using the mind…your good old-fashioned logic and common sense. A mindful person is one who strips the curtain away from empty, feel-good messages and sees the bigger picture at hand. Our mind should be the primary seat of our decision making, as opposed to feelings which are quite often misleading and dangerous. This election season, it seems clearer than ever which party is one of action, and which one merely uses flowery words to charm the hearer. Do not be deceived by smooth talk; test each candidate by what they do and not strictly by what they say. Furthermore, consider the end-goal of the myriad of promises one party boasts:

Perhaps free money in the form of government handouts sounds good in the short-term, but use your mind: where is the money going to come from? What is this “gift” going to cost us in the long-term?

Perhaps less police interference sounds good in the short-term, but use your mind: without law enforcement, what will hold the evil in men’s hearts in check? Who will come to your aid if you are the victim of a crime?

Perhaps a lack of borders between nations sounds good in the short-term, but use your mind: do all other nations have the best interest of Americans in mind? What of those whose goal is to terrorize and conquer?

Perhaps a stay-at-home order during a viral outbreak sounds good in the short-term, but use your mind: is hiding away at home indefinitely a sustainable lifestyle for our economy and communities? Is mass panic and hysteria any substitute for joyfully living life with some calculated risk?

These examples are only scratching the surface of the myriad long-term agendas of the Democratic party. Don’t give in to the devastating mistake of shortsightedness. Be savvy enough to see where we will end up as a nation if we continue to pawn off our liberties one by one: a socialist nation on the road to communism, a land reminiscent of Nazi Germany. Don’t just take my word for it….read the histories of World War II, The Vietnam War, and The Korean War, and how communist leaders rose to tyranny in these foreign lands one step at a time. Many of our brave soldiers fought to the death to ward off such evils from befalling other nations. It would shame them to no end if we allow a similar danger to take root in our own home soil. When exercising your right to vote on November 3, I implore you to use your mind, and always think towards the future.

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished. – Proverbs 22:3

Step #3 in Choosing a Chief:

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Aside from using your morals and your mind, you must allow past experiences to be called to the forefront of your memory once more before voting. A trend I see each time Election Day rolls around, is the tendency for voters to seek a change in the White House for the sake of change alone. There is always an air of discontentment brooding, as people tire of the current administration…they want something fresh: a fresh face, a fresh start. There is an overwhelming desire by many to discount all of our current President’s accomplishments because of a distaste for his personality. These people are tired of seeing his face and they are tired of observing his brash, straightforward ways. It would serve them well to remember, though, that while we may have had a “nice” man as President in the previous administration, he was not a good man. One can not allow a cloudy memory to overrule the facts of morals and mind.

If you are a truth-seeker, you will appeal to memory and ask yourself: was it a positive experience before when Joe Biden served as Vice President for eight years? If the answer is “no”, what makes you think he will do any better as President? Sadly, this person is a habitual liar with a lack of moral integrity (as is his counterpart, Kamala Harris). One might watch the recent presidential debates alone to count numerous lies Biden told with the smug smile of a silver-tongued devil. This is not even to mention the countless lies he has told during the entire duration of his career. As a person who has a great respect for elders, I would like to believe that Biden is merely a kindly old man, but I would be fooling myself with this notion. His advanced years have only served to take him further down the path of debauchery. Seek and study, and you will find that this is so.

Don’t allow an itch for change or a disdain for President Trump’s personality to negatively impact your vote. Search your memory, and you will be quick to see that our President has accomplished a great deal for our country, while the Democratic party is on a mission to destroy the great nation that we know and love. When exercising your right to vote on November 3, I implore you to use your memory.

But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. – 2 Peter 2:22

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In conclusion…

We have a duty to attend to this Election Day. A duty to our predecessors, a duty to our peers, and a duty to our posterity. We must choose a chief who will stand for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. How do we do this? By employing our morals, our mind, and our memory to make a wise and informed decision for the benefit of ourselves and others. A great privilege lies with you and I this November 3 as we raise our voices for the common good of “We the People”. Let’s make it count.

“Together, We will make America strong again. We will make America wealthy again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And yes, together, we will make America great again. Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America.” –

– President Donald J. Trump

For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

“Somewhere in the night a child cries,
A woman weeps and someone dies.
Somewhere in the night, humanity hides.

Somewhere in the night, a soul screams.
As people fade and die, lost in dreams.
Somewhere in the night, reality lives.

Somewhere in the night loneliness dwells
As people die, no sounding bells.
Somewhere in the night, she dies alone.

Somewhere in the night…

Where is the light?”

– “Somewhere in the Night” by Marilyn (user at www.netpoems.com)

Have you ever laid in bed and wondered what was happening “somewhere this second…”? I know I have…

When I was a small child, my father worked third shift at his job. My mother would allow me to crawl up on to their bed in his absence, and we would often lie awake and talk into the wee hours of the morning. Ever the inquisitive girl, I would ask almost nightly, “Mommy, what time is it right now in China?”. My mother would then proceed to calculate an estimate to satisfy my curiosity. I was fascinated by the fact that “somewhere this second”, while I was lying inside in the darkness, there was another little girl halfway around the globe playing outside in the sunshine.

As I have grown into adulthood, I no longer have a drilling curiosity about the time in China. (I assume it was more fun asking my mom to calculate the difference for me then as opposed to looking it up on my smartphone myself now!) Still, I do often lie in bed and meditate somberly about what is happening “somewhere this second”. Sometimes I think about:

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As I lay in bed, it often occurs to me how healthy and whole my soma (body) is. I lie next to my husband in a comfortable bed in a temperature controlled room. I have little to no aches or pains. I am at ease physically.

But what about “out there”? Somewhere this second, someone’s soma is suffering…

Somewhere this second, someone lies in a hospital bed with broken bones after surviving a car accident. Someone with cancer receives another excruciating round of chemotherapy. Someone has lost a limb fighting for our freedom overseas.

Somewhere this second, someone is vomiting for their third day in a row of having the flu. Someone’s virus-infected body is racked with coughs. Someone is holed up in a dark room struggling with a migraine.

Somewhere this second, a man’s body aches after hours of hard labor for his family. A woman winces as she looks at her bruises in the mirror after her husband’s angry drunken episode. A baby is violently removed from the safety of his mother’s womb due to abortion.

The Lord is concerned about each person’s soma. I too, will have concern.

Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. – Hebrews 13:3

Sometimes I think about:

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As I lay in bed, it often occurs to me how happy and whole my soul is. I lie next to my husband enjoying a loving marriage and a fulfilling life. I have few regrets behind me or challenges before me. I am at ease emotionally.

But what about “out there”? Somewhere this second, someone’s soul is suffering…

Somewhere this second, someone is going through a divorce they never wanted in the first place. Someone is sitting in a waiting room while their loved one is dying. Someone is being betrayed by their friend.

Somewhere this second, someone is depressed because they feel that no one loves them. Someone is hating every second of their dead-end job. Someone is watching their home burn to the ground.

Somewhere this second, a man is feeling beaten down and incompetent because of a wife who belittles and berates him. A woman who has been raped is weeping alone in the darkness, afraid to tell anyone of her (undeserved) newfound shame. A child is longing for the day he/she can be emancipated and move far away from the loveless home of father and mother.

The Lord is concerned about each person’s soul. I too, will have concern.

Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked. – Psalm 82:3-4

Sometimes I think about:

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As I lay in bed, it often occurs to me how holy and whole my spirit is. I lie next to my husband in the joyful security that I have been made righteous through Christ’s atonement. I know where my eternal home is as I continue walking in His light. I am at ease spiritually.

But what about “out there”? Somewhere this second, someone’s spirit is suffering…

Somewhere this second, someone doesn’t yet know the Lord. Someone is giving up their faith in God after suffering a hardship. Someone is walking out on the church and never looking back.

Somewhere this second, someone is doubting the existence of a divine Creator. Someone is cursing God with their words and their lifestyle. Someone is believing the error someone spoon-fed them instead of investigating scripture for themselves.

Somewhere this second, a man dies without obeying the gospel. A woman is in church alone, while her husband stays home. An innocent child believes his parents when they say that Jesus is only make-believe; the Bible only a fairy tale.

The Lord is concerned about each person’s spirit. I too, will be concerned.

And of some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh. – Jude 22-23

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In conclusion…

When you lie in bed, take a few moments once in a while to consider what is happening “somewhere this second”.

Ruminations such as these serve two purposes:

1. To build in us a solemn gratitude for the good moments in our own lives. We all will experience hardships in life to some extent, as it is the fallen nature of our world. We would do well to cherish the good times as they come to us, and not take them for granted.
2. To build in us a genuine compassion for others in distress. We may not be able to go out and solve all the problems in the world, but by taking somber note of them, we are more aware and eager to help when such opportunities present themselves.

My childhood question has grown from “what time is it in China?” to “what times are they having in China?”.

And our hope of you is steadfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. For we would not brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life…” – 2 Corinthians 1:7-8

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

“…Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ’cause you’re not
Baby, when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now
Go on and take a bow.”

– Chorus from “Take a Bow” by Rihanna 

This song accurately describes how empty apologies often are…they can be so fake that it’s like watching a theatrical performance! Our society has found itself in a “sorry” situation: one where apologizing has been diminished to nothing more than meaningless words that are not backed up by action. Most of us have probably been guilty of giving a hollow apology at one time or another, as well as being on the receiving end of one. People nowadays say “sorry” for a myriad of reasons, but the least of these reasons tends to be a truly penitent heart.

Am I saying that the word “sorry” should be thrown out with yesterday’s trash? Well, not exactly. The words “I’m sorry”, just like the words “I love you”, can be devoid of any semblance of truth. On the flip side, these words can be filled with the utmost sincerity. The words don’t hold the power, but rather, the person speaking them. I believe that “sorry” can be reclaimed as a meaningful word if it is used honestly and appropriately.

“It’s not that ‘sorry’ doesn’t mean anything; it just doesn’t mean anything when some people say it… Don’t be one of those people.”– Steve Maraboli

How can you be sure that you are truly sorry when you apologize to someone, and not “only sorry you got caught”? In today’s lesson, we will discover the three characteristics of a genuine “sorry”. Characteristic #1:

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The term “hard and fast” is defined as: a rule or distinction that is fixed/definitive.

When we use the word “sorry”, we are in essence saying, “My action was wrong, therefore I am definitively purposing to amend my path.” We are implying that, “it won’t happen again”. Is it possible that we will fail to keep this resolution? Absolutely…we humans tend to stumble and fall back into sinful behavior more often than not. However, even if we fail at times to uphold the changed behavior we have resolved to keep, overall there will be a change in us too great to escape notice. We may fall, but we fall far less frequently. We may fall, but we stand up quicker than before. We may fall, but we no longer justify our actions. There is definitively a new “us”, one that is fixed on redeeming our past errors and no longer residing in them unashamedly.

“Sacrifice is at the heart of repentance. Without deeds, your apology is worthless.” – Bryan Davis

When we fail, saying “sorry” is a good start, but it must be coupled with a hard-and-fast sacrifice…otherwise, our words are deceitful.

Imagine this scenario…someone accidentally bumps into you with their shopping cart at the grocery store, in Aisle 1. They quickly say, “sorry!”. You both proceed to Aisle 2, where that same shopper bumps into you with their cart again, and then says, “sorry!” You then move to Aisle 3 – where lo and behold – the selfsame shopper comes barreling into you with their cart and says yet again, “sorry!” You might begin to assume that “sorry” doesn’t have a lot of weight coming from the other shopper. The word comes out easily, but they have not made any attempt to watch where they are going.

Now let’s re-imagine the scenario…someone accidentally bumps into you with their shopping cart at the grocery store, in Aisle 1. They quickly say, “sorry!” You both proceed to Aisle 2, where the same shopper almost bumps into you with their cart again, and then says, “boy, that was a close one – I better watch where I’m going!”. You then move to Aisle 3, where the selfsame shopper leaves a wide path for you to get through and says with an apologetic laugh, “I’m not risking running into you again – you go on ahead!”

In which scenario was the “sorry” genuine? Sure, the other shopper was somewhat unaware in both scenes, maybe even a bit of a klutz, but the concerted effort to change is noticeable in scene 2. The shopper noticed their clumsiness and made their “sorry” hard-and-fast, so they would not continue to make the same mistake. It is much the same with more serious infractions. We don’t go from flawed to perfect overnight…but can others see that we are definitively being transformed to betterment?

“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” – Tyron Edwards

Did you use a disrespectful tone towards your husband? Apologize, but make sure your “sorry” is hard-and-fast by resolving to show him a more meek and quiet spirit next time. Did you show up late when meeting with a friend? Apologize, but make sure your “sorry” is hard-and-fast by leaving the house earlier next time. Did you forget to follow through on a favor for a colleague? Apologize, but make sure your “sorry” is hard-and-fast by writing yourself a note or setting a phone reminder next time. Do you see a pattern? “Sorry” is all about next time…what we do to change our behavior after the damage has already been done.

…Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee. – John 5:14b [emphasis mine]

When you say, “sorry”, is it hard-and-fast? If not, I’m afraid you’re not truly sorry…you’re just in a “sorry” situation!

Now, for Characteristic #2:

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The term “hand over fist” is defined as: something given quickly and in large amounts. 

When we realize we owe an apology to someone, it ought to be done as soon as possible and as lavishly as possible. If we have hurt someone, it should spur in us a desire to make it up to them…generously! A haphazard, too-little-too-late kind of sorry is insulting to the one who has been wronged. What’s worse is a sorry coupled with a slew of excuses. The word “sorry”, should never be followed by the word, “but”.

“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in an apology.” – Cathy Burnham Martin

I used to know an individual who could not leave an apology at “I’m sorry”. Whenever they acted cruelly during a disagreement, they would casually apologize, but then point the blame at me for supposedly instigating their volatile behavior. Instead of admitting their own negative actions, they used the “apology” as a chance to further argue and belittle. This unpleasant past experience has taught me, in Golden Rule fashion, not to treat others to the faux sort of apology that comes with a catch. When I apologize, I try to make a point to humble myself enough to only focus on what I did wrong to another, not what another did wrong to me. The funny thing is, when we apologize to others in such a humble way, they often tend to be convicted to the point of returning the apology (if they bore any negative role in the situation). Everyone comes out a winner when humility takes the place of defensive pride.

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” – Benjamin Franklin

In parenting, some feel hesitant to apologize for losing their cool or being overtly harsh when their child misbehaves. They are afraid that if they apologize, it will make their child feel justified in their bad behavior or lose the sense of their parent’s authority. I have found that quite the opposite is true. When we apologize to our children, it not only shows them our humanity, but it models how to humble themselves and ask for forgiveness when they have done wrong. Whatever you do, resist the urge to use an apology as a springboard for a lecture. This falls back into the “I’m sorry, but…” routine. Such an apology will only raise your child’s ire and your words will go in one ear and out the other. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but you really did a bad thing, etc. etc…”, try this: “I’m sorry Mommy yelled at you. I really overreacted and I shouldn’t have been so harsh towards you.” and leave it at that. When I have taken this softhearted approach, my child has never failed to respond in kind…”No Mommy, I am the one who did wrong…I’m sorry, too”. You both get the apology you are owed, and in so doing, you will have won the heart of your child.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. – Proverbs 15:1

When you say, “sorry”, is it hand-over-fist? If not, I’m afraid you’re not truly sorry…you’re just in a “sorry” situation!

Now, for Characteristic #3:

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The term heartfelt is defined as: something that is deeply and strongly felt; a sincere feeling.

While feelings should never be the only thing impelling an apology, it is certain that an apology devoid of any feeling is an untruth, and sickening to the recipient. We should only offer apologies after we have trained our emotions to empathize with the individual we have hurt, that our “sorry” will be in earnest.

We’ve all seen two children being forced to give an apology to each other whilst holding onto rotten attitudes. The tell-tale signs of a lack of authenticity abound: heads turning dramatically away from the other child, rolling eyes, frowning lips, and pitiful “sorry’s” spoken in nearly inaudible mumbles. A sad sight! I hold that forcing untimely apologies is a poor parenting technique, for it only serves to train the children to say words that they don’t mean. How much better to teach the child to first gain hold of their feelings and then to give an authentic apology from the heart?

“When anger and bitterness overpower your goodness, you can neither apologize nor forgive.”– Balroop Singh

Children aren’t the only ones who struggle to feel sorry in the heat of the moment. What should you do when you don’t feel sorry, but you know you should be sorry? Well, knowing is half the battle, right? Once you know that you have done wrong, the next line of action is to work on training your emotions to follow that knowledge. Pray to the Lord and ask that he would soften you enough to feel in your heart what you know is right in your spirit. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes…think about how hurtful your behavior was from their perspective. Sometimes it’s even helpful to talk to the other person (especially if it is a close loved one you can trust). Confess to them that, while you know you have hurt them, you are in a dark space and struggling to gain a foothold on your feelings about the matter. Assure them that you love them and that this conversation is not over…only put on pause until you have effectively conquered your heart issue. When you gain your composure and your heart is soft, you can approach them with a true apology from the heart…a weight lifted for both you and them.

“Saying sorry to someone is hard… but putting your pride down for someone is the hardest.”– Cristina Orante

Say no to these faux statements:

“I’m sorry, but…”
“I’m sorry, I guess…”
“I’m sorry you’re mad…”

None of these pitiful apologies will do in the life of a Christian. Let your apology be sincere and in earnest, or let it be put on hold.

For thou desirest not sacrifice, else would I give it…the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart… – excerpt from Psalm 51:16-17

When you say, “sorry”, is it heart-felt? If not, I’m afraid you’re not truly sorry…you’re just in a “sorry” situation!

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In conclusion…

Not sure whether you’re “sorry”, or “only sorry you got caught”? Remember, in order to be genuine, a sorry must be hard-and-fast, hand-over-fist, and heart-felt. Without these three vital characteristics, we are merely in a “sorry” situation. Make your words count. Saying sorry can bring healing to others, if we show we truly mean it with our changing actions…if we take full responsibility for our error…and if it is offered from the heart. If you owe someone an apology, don’t withhold it from them any longer. Go make peace.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. – Matthew 5:9

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.