“Follow your heart”

“It’s not wrong if it feels right”

“Do what makes you happy”

There you have it, friends. I have just blessed you with three of the most popular well-wishes, t-shirt slogans, and decorative coffee mug sentiments.
Now…may prosperity find you, may you live a long and happy life, oh…and make sure to always “just be yourself”!

(Okay, come on…you didn’t think I was serious, did you??)

In all actuality, these popular catch phrases are among some of the worst pieces of advice known to man. Following our hearts, doing what feels right, and seeking happiness may sound good to the ear, but are these really the things a christian woman should be about?

(Hint: The answer is no.)

I want us to stop and consider this one catch phrase in particular…”follow your heart”. I do believe that this mother of all self-serving phrases very well may be the worst of all.

To find out why, let’s compare it with Jeremiah 17:9 and Proverbs 28:26:

– The heart is *deceitful* above all things, and *desperately wicked*: who can know it? [emphasis added]

– He that trusteth in his own heart is a *fool*: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. [emphasis added]

Woah, woah, woah…hold the phone…

• “The heart is deceitful above all things“
• “The heart is desperately wicked“
• “He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool“

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting the idea that following our hearts sounds pretty harebrained!

Now to be fair, our feelings of the heart are God given, and can be used at times to lead us to do good. On the flip side, our feelings can be deceitful, misleading, and downright evil.
So what gives…is “follow your heart” the worst advice, or isn’t it?!

Well now, this would all depend on what manner of heart is living inside of you! Today we are going to identify whether the core of our being is human or heavenly.

It’s heart checking time! So step right up to the examination table and let’s take a look at the old ticker. Here are the three questions every woman needs to ask herself to find out when, where, how, and if her heart should ever be her guide…

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Question # 1: Is my heart gold, or mold?

Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart…
– Psalm 24:3-4a

God wants each of us to have a heart of gold.

A heart that is honest, a heart that is pure, a heart that is uncontaminated by worldly influence…this is the kind of heart God longs for us to have. In terms of purity, He would have us to be like unto little children. We know this to be true, yet…

Anyone who has lived to adulthood has been jaded in some way, shape, or form. All of us have some mold on our once pure hearts. Where there was once innocence, there is now depravity. What was formerly a clean heart has now become rotten and putrid. As we grow in stature, we actually shrink in purity. Ironic, is it not?

This is because it is the nature of the human heart to sin. Now don’t misunderstand me – we are not born sinful beings – but not one of us grows to adulthood untainted by the world. Consider what wickedness the human heart can contrive…

Matthew 15:17-19 says:

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed:

1. evil thoughts,
2. murders,
3. adulteries,
4. fornications,
5. thefts,
6. false witness,
7. blasphemies.
   (see also Mark 7:18-23)

These horrible, awful, no-good, very bad sins come from the heart! Yet our society would have us to follow our heart…because in the world’s eyes doing what we want is somehow supposed to be brave and noble. Don’t be fooled by this erred logic, sisters! We would be wise to remember that “the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God”. (1 Corinthians 3:19)

Let’s face it…the human heart is fundamentally flawed. Unchecked, it will only grow worse and worse as time goes on! As a result of this inevitable tainting, we all come to possess a heart that is unworthy of having a leadership position. If we allow ourselves to be led by such a heart, it can only end in misery and pain.

“One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.” – Friedrich Nietzche (1883-92)

Nietzche may not have been a Christian man, but even he could not deny the truth of Proverbs 4:23:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

In other words, we must control our hearts…not the other way around, lest our eternal future suffer for it.

So how can we “hold on to/keep our heart”?
How can we sustain purity, and remove the mold that has grown within?

Let me ask you this: how do we get rid of mold in our homes? Scrub it out of course! If a home is prone to getting mold, it may take more diligence to keep clean than other homes. Yet with determination and consistent upkeep, mold can get removed and stay removed.

“Almost every home gets mold infestations. The trick is to stop them before they get big and harm both you and your home.” – www.familyhandyman.com, “How To Remove Mold”

Mold harms. We can not leave it to grow and think that our homes will not be overtaken and destroyed by it. Mold must go. Do you want to scrub the mold out of your heart? Then you’re going to need to get ahold of the best mold-removing product on the market: Jesus Christ. Only He can get in and scrub away the debris that lies beneath the surface. Here’s how to get rid of mold even in the most hard to reach spots:

Step 1: You need to not only hear and know about this mold-removing product, but believe that it will work for you. If you don’t believe in the product you’re using, you’re not going to put your full effort in to the mold removal process.

Step 2: Fully acknowledge that you have a mold infestation and that this is why you are getting to work. It’s a shame that mold got in your home in the first place, but it happens to all of us. What matters is that you’re using the product now. Commit to keep the mold at bay from now on, and know that you might have to keep returning to this spot over and over again so it doesn’t pop back up.

Step 3: Here’s the fun part…your mind is ready, but now it’s time to jump in and use the product. Until this moment, you have prepared to use it, but now you will actually use it. Scrub that mold off until there is a clean, shiny surface exposed. Good as new.

Scrubbing mold out of your house is a whole lot like scrubbing mold out of your heart. You must hear about Jesus (Romans 10:17), believe in Jesus (Hebrews 11:6), confess Jesus (1 John 1:9), repent to Jesus (Acts 2:37-38), and finally…scrub away the mold by putting on Jesus in baptism (Galatians 3:27). This is how you exchange a human heart of mold for a heavenly heart of gold. Don’t let a moldy heart keep you out of heaven. Today is the day to be saved!

A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. – Matthew 12:35

Human Heart: self-seeking, self-satisfying, self-serving
Heavenly Heart: Spirit-Seeking, Spirit-Satisfying, Spirit-Serving

A sound heart is the life of the flesh… – Proverbs 14:30a

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. – Psalms 51:10

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. – Matthew 5:8

Human Heart: Mold
Heavenly Heart: Gold

Which do you possess?

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Question #2: Is my heart told, or sold?

A wise man’s heart is at his right hand; but a fool’s heart at his left. – Ecclesiastes 10:2
[note: in bible language, right stands for strength/left stands for darkness]

God wants each of us to have a heart that is told.

We must apply reasoning skills to our faith, and not rely solely on feelings and passions that so quickly come and go. We need to put the Lord in front of our faces continually (even when we don’t feel like it) so that our heart becomes filled with Him. It’s so important that we train ourselves to love the ways of God. It’s one thing to have head knowledge, but if we don’t love our Father, doing His will once temptation comes is another story…

Consider a child getting sucked in to an infomercial about an exciting new gadget. A respectful, loving child will believe his father and mother when they explain to him that this too-good-to-be-true deal really is too good to be true…that the item is in fact poorly made and not worth the money. A disrespectful, unloving child will pay no heed to his parent’s wise instruction, even if they preach to him all the day long. Once he is sold on the product, he will yearn for it and speak of nothing else until some well-meaning grandparent, uncle, or aunt purchase it for him. Soon after, when the “$19.99 with a free bonus gift” toy is lying broken in the garbage can, the disrespectful child will still be looking for the next new thing to spark his attention. He didn’t learn from his error…his heart is sold on everything he desires.

Sadly, a child that does not love his parents never learns to be told instead of sold. Such a child will grow to be a foolish adult with no discretion. A heart that gets sold will not stand up against temptations such as drugs, alcohol, illicit sexual behavior, or shady business dealings, to name a few. A heart that is sold will jump on every cheap opportunity to satiate its lusts.

Sometimes adults act just like children. We do ourselves harm by getting sucked into believing what we want to believe; even to the point of ignoring wisdom and defying our higher sensibilities. We act “in the moment”; we do what feels right instead of what is right. This can not be! This is the way that leads to death. Rather than walk down this path, we must re-direct our hearts to be united with God’s will…

Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?
– Ezekiel 18:31

This was being said to Israel thousands of years ago. This generation didn’t invent the “follow your heart” lifestyle. No, this folly has been around since the dawn of creation…

Eve “followed her heart” when she ate the forbidden fruit. (Genesis 3:6)

Cain “followed his heart” when he slew his brother in a fit of rage. (Genesis 4:2-8)

Aaron “followed his heart” when he obeyed the Israelite people by fashioning them a golden cow for idol worship. (Exodus 32:1-5)

Nadab and Abihu “followed their hearts” when they offered strange fire before the Lord. (Leviticus 10:1-2)

David “followed his heart” when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed. (2 Samuel 11)

Jonah “followed his heart” when he disobeyed God’s command to go to Nineveh and instead boarded a boat to Tarshish. (Jonah 1:1-3)

Ananias and Sapphira “followed their hearts” when they cheated on a business transaction and deceived their congregation. (Acts 5:1-11)

Judas “followed his heart” when he betrayed the Lord for 30 pieces of silver. (John 13:2, Matthew 26:14-16)

“Man is, and was always, a block-head and a dullard; much readier to feel and digest, than to think and consider.” – Thomas Carlyle (1833-34)

We’ve all been sold on sin at one point or another, but we don’t have to stay there. As we mature in Christ, we learn to be sold less and less. The trick is taking God’s word for things before we try them out and fail miserably. He truly knows what is best. When He puts a limitation on us, it is for our own good (whether it feels like it or not).The first and greatest commandment is for us to love our God. This is how we exchange a human heart that’s sold, for a heavenly heart that’s told.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Matthew 22:37

…seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring. – Numbers 15:39b

Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them. – Deuteronomy 11:16

Human Heart: Double-minded, Ignores godly counsel, Gives in to temptation
Heavenly Heart: Grounded, Listens to reason, Turns from evil

Human Heart: Sold
Heavenly Heart: Told

Which do you possess?

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Question #3: Is my heart bold, or cold?

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
– Ezekiel 36:26
(note: stone: dead, unbreakable, unmovable;
flesh: alive, can be broken, can be molded)

God wants each of us to have a heart that is bold.

Our King wants to see us living as thriving and active members of His church. Too many sit immobilized in the pew for lack of enthusiasm, or even go astray from Christ’s church because of childish disputes…

We need maturity among us. We need to be selfless. We need to take less, and give more. We need more bettering, and less bickering. This stands true for all areas of life, but especially when it comes to the church. We need valiant warriors for the cause of Christ, with hearts undaunted by trifling arguments. What we do not need is hearts that faint at the smallest of offenses.

A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same. – Ninny Threadgoode, Fried Green Tomatoes

Such a sentiment as this ought to be shared by every christian. We need to be able to say: I was offended, but I got over it. I was hurt, but I moved on. I was broken, but I persevered.

Listen, girls: an argument is not the end of the world. A sharp rebuke will not kill us. A rude brother or sister should not deter us from entering into the joy of the Lord.

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:21

If you have let your heart grow cold, you have separated yourself from the will of God. We all have times where we feel like we can’t go on. Yet feelings do not define what we can or can not do…that’s the Lord’s job. We need to find where we fit in the assembly, and do what we can for God’s glory, regardless of what anyone else is doing.This is how you exchange a human heart that’s cold, for a heavenly heart that’s bold.

A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps. – Proverbs 16:9

There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand. – Proverbs 19:21

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. – Psalms 31:24

Human Heart: Sluggish, Fearful, Indecisive
Heavenly Heart: Hard-working, Brave, Determined

Human Heart: Cold
Heavenly Heart: Bold

Which do you possess?

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Our hearts were never designed to be followed, but to be led. Our hearts were never designed to be gods in whom we believe; they were designed to believe in God. – Jon Bloom

The only heart worth following is the heart of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It is only when His holy and heavenly heart is dwelling within us, that we can safely “follow our heart”.

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. – Psalms 37:4

I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart. – Psalm 40:8

The law of God is in his heart: none of his steps shall slide. – Psalm 37:31

Before you act, always ask yourself:

• Is my heart gold?
• Is my heart told?
• Is my heart bold?

If you can truthfully answer yes to these questions, then you will know that you have a heavenly heart. A heavenly heart that is led by Christ, and worth following.

Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. – Joel 2:12-13

And the Lord thy God will circumsise thine heart, and the heart of thy seed, to love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, that thou mayest live. – Deuteronomy 30:6

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Photo Credit: Owner – Thai National Parks – www.thainationalparks.com/phu-hin-rong-kla-national-park

I hate and fear snakes, because if you look into the eyes of any snake you will see that it knows all and more of the mystery of man’s fall, and that it feels all the contempt that the Devil felt when Adam was evicted from Eden. Besides which its bite is generally fatal, and it twists up trouser legs.
– Rudyard Kipling, The Return of Imray

Snakes…ask any ophidiophobe and he or she will tell you that the sly, subtle, and slithery serpent is simply the most contemptible creature on planet earth. In fact, a little known tidbit about me is that I myself am dreadfully terrified of snakes. It’s a funny thing, really…my childhood home was centered in a tangled forest out in the country, where many a snake dwells. Yet even though snakes were not an uncommon sight in my youth, I never grew a fondness for the creature. To this day I shudder at the very thought of seeing (or being seen by) a serpent…so it is with no small fear that I am inspired to bring this article before you.

Now before any reptile lover takes offense at what I am about to write, let it be known that I don’t hold any silly superstitions about snakes. I will (be it ever so reluctantly) acknowledge that the serpent is one of God’s creatures. A snake is as innocent as the next creature of any evil, being that animals do not possess spirits. However, while not actually being evil…snakes are even to this modern age a symbol and a type of evil…having been chosen in the garden as host to the greatest “serpent” of all.

By learning about snakes in a physical sense, we can unveil truths about our own enemy serpent in a spiritual sense. Today, we are going to consider how a snake methodically takes hold of his victim. Perhaps in so doing, we will learn how to successfully combat a few of that old serpent Satan’s tricks…

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1. The Serpent Stares

Photo Credit: Steve Kharmawphlang

A hungry serpent spots his victim from a distance. A movement from afar, be it ever so slight, has captured his full attention. He patiently lies in wait, hidden among the foliage. He stares at the desired object of his appetite, observing his soon-to-be prey…

Now the serpent was more subtil* than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made… Genesis 3:1a
[*subtil; from hebrew root “arum”: to be crafty, shrewd, sensible]

Satan roams unseen in the garden of Eden…looking for a tasty morsel to satiate his lust. Alas, a woman! An easy target – every predator’s dream. This battle will not last long, he knows he has it in the bag. All he has to do is get her away from her husband’s watchful eye long enough to make a carefully planned, unexpected move.

Notice a stark similarity between a serpent and the serpent? They are both hidden…unseen. This advantage alone provides quite the upper hand for a serpent. An inconspicuous predator will always have an easy go at his victim. Surely we can not defeat what we can not see.

A man [or woman] surprised is half beaten. – Thomas Fuller, M.D. (1732)

In the same way spiritually, it’s what we don’t see that will surely be the death of us. Sins that we know we struggle with we can more easily defeat (if we have a mind to), for we have identified them and seen the harm that they bring to our lives and the lives of others. Yet there can be areas of sin in our lives that we fail to detect; sins deep in the recesses of our minds and hearts. These sins go hidden and unnoticed if we do not dig deep and examine ourselves continually. Satan will always use our unawareness for his advantage.

Look before you leap, for snakes among sweet flowers do creep. – German Proverb

Consider this: would it be more difficult to spot a serpent coiled in a rainforest tree, or a serpent sprawled out on a tile floor? This is a no-brainer. Of course it is harder to see the snake in the tree. It is hidden among a myriad of vines and branches (that appear to be harmless)! Likewise, we have parts inside us that are so tangled…so wild and unkempt like a rainforest, that what seems harmless may in fact be a serpent right before our very eyes.

Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober. For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night. But let us, who are of the day, be sober… 1 Thessalonians 5:5-8a

Most parents who live in a small community have no problem letting their children play freely around the neighborhood during the light of day, but under the darkness of night it becomes a different story. Why is this? We all know that as a general rule, baddies do their business under the coverings of darkness. Satan works in much the same way as a kidnapper or sexual predator would…he is not stupid enough to parade around in the daytime, but he’ll not pass up the chance to snatch anyone naive enough to wander around alone in the night. Like a serpent hidden under foliage, Satan hides in the darkness of night. Those who wander away from the light of God’s ways will soon become his prey.

In whom the god of this world [re: satan] hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. – 2 Corinthians 4:4 (clarification added)

We all learned in elementary science class that snakes don’t have eyelids. Consider what this scientific truth reveals about Satan in a spiritual way. He never blinks – his eyes are continually open. This is not good news for us! Satan is constantly aware of us, which in turn means we should be constantly aware of him. He is on offence, which logically necessitates our being on defense. If we try to close our eyes and just wish a serpent away, it won’t do an ounce of good. In the same way, we can try to close our eyes to Satan, but it won’t make him go away. Rather we must resist the devil, causing him to flee from our presence! (James 4:7)

But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
– 2 Corinthians 11:3

• Might Satan be watching you and finding you a prime target because you “can’t see the forest for the trees” (or serpent for the trees, as it were)?
• Could there be a sin in your life that you are missing because of its “tangled” and “coiled” nature?
• Do you allow yourself at times to drift into darkness, or close your eyes to the truth because it’s “just too hard to accept”?

Open your eyes, friends! Our enemy is subtil, but we don’t have to be taken by him. Let us continually be on guard over ourselves lest we become a feast for an insatiable enemy.

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves. – Matthew 10:16

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2. The Serpent Stalks

Photo Credit: By Tontan Travel – www.tontantravel.com

The once still and watchful serpent has imprinted upon his victim. With power in his sleek muscles, he rises from his position and begins the trek towards fulfillment. His mind is on one thing, and one thing only…and as far as he is concerned, nothing will stand in his way…

And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? – Genesis 3:1b

Now that Satan has decided to make his move towards Eve, he considers what manner of woman he is stalking. ‘How can I get her to consume the forbidden fruit? Will she fall for the old “put on this blind-fold, here comes the airplane” technique? Probably not, she seems too smart for that one. Maybe the straightforward method: “hey look at me disobeying God, so much fun…come join the party”. Hmm…no, she seems a bit more loyal to the Creator than that. Ah- I know just the thing…if I can twist God’s word jussst enough to confuse her better judgment, then she will be under my spell.’

Not only is Satan subtil, he’s also a shyster. He doesn’t just watch us from a distance, but he moves in close to us. Why? So that he can get intimate with us. Figure out what makes us tick. Locate our Achilles’ heel, if you will. Instead of having Eve focus on all the numerous blessings she had, all the many trees she could eat from at a whim, the serpent persuaded her to only consider the one thing she could not have. Instead of rejoicing for her abundant liberty, she despaired for this minimal law. Satan is still out performing the same trickery on weak women today. He whispers in a woman’s ear and convinces her that the grass is greener on the other side. That what she has is not good enough. That the cross she bears is far too burdensome. That she would have more joy if she only had more freedom. Will you and I be bamboozled by this same old tomfoolery? It’s time to wake up! The snake does not have our best interests in mind, and that’s an understatement.

The crookedness of the serpent is still straight enough to slide through the snake hole. – Abraham Verghese

Satan will pretend to have our best interests in mind by twisting truth to make it appear that our Lord is unfair, cruel, unreasonable…and the list goes on. Don’t buy the lie! Satan would have himself and his followers look wise by their seemingly logical arguments against God’s ways. Yet we need to filter and examine all such information we hear through the lens of scripture. Whether we are hearing distortion from friends, family members, the workplace, the pulpit, or even most importantly, our own reprobate minds, we need to compare the message to that of the bible to see if it measures up. Only a fool believes all that he (or she) hears without checking sources. Honestly, someone could give us a convincing argument to say that the moon must be a giant cheese because it appears yellow and spherical. If the argument is convincing enough, it must be true, right?! Preposterous…one only needs to check a grade school textbook to denounce such a claim. This example sounds absurd, but in the same way, how can we believe what someone tells us is true of God without checking our source, His word??

He knew for a fact that he was so hopelessly bad at seeing through camouflage that, if left alone in the forest, he might even attempt to make fire by rubbing two snakes together. – Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

It is commonly said that Satan favors the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” method when tainting souls. Unfortunately this is so true. Satan knows that most of us won’t actively attempt to follow him, yet will get sucked into following him without even knowing it…by following after false teachers. In the natural world, snakes bask openly on stones…swim through waters…slither through trees…let us consider what this means, symbolically speaking. Often in scripture these three natural resources represent the following:

[Stones are a type of God’s principles.

Water is a type of God’s word.

Trees are a type of God’s people.]

Suffice it to say, the serpent is not afraid to get up close and personal with us. He has no reservations…he brazenly basks upon God’s principles, swims through God’s word, and slithers through God’s people. We have to rightly divide scripture lest we become dazed and confused.

• Are you apt to believe anything that others tell you is true about God’s will, if they make a convincing enough argument?
• Do you allow feelings to cloud your higher reasoning skills?
• Will you blindly follow the masses in order to fit in and be liked?

He that diggeth a pit shall fall into it, and whoso breaketh an hedge, a serpent shall bite him. – Ecclesiastes 10:8

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3. The Serpent Strikes

Photo Credit: By Tontan Travel – www.tontantravel.com

The serpent is mere inches away from his meal. At the prime moment, he springs. His jaw opens wide…exposing two large fangs dripping with deadly venom. His prey lets out an ear-piercing scream as he latches on to her skin with a frightening death grip. Yet it is too late to run. Within moments, his prey will take her last breath…and he, his first taste.

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die. – Genesis 3:4

Satan’s plan to trick Eve by misquoting God isn’t exactly working out…she has not been tricked. She boldly tells him that she and her husband can in fact eat from any tree except that of the knowledge of good and evil. What’s a sinister fellow to do except sink lower and lower to get what he wants? He then proclaims to Eve the single most heinous lie in the history of mankind.

“Ye shall not surely die”…this is the delusional promise of each and every sin. This lie manifests itself in various ways…from making us believe that we won’t get punished for our sin because we have been led to believe “we can’t fall from grace” (that is a topic for another day)…to making us believe that we won’t get caught in our sin…to making us believe that some sins aren’t a big deal or even sin at all! How sad that there are so many ways that we can be led to believe a delusion…and from the father of lies at that!

I’ve always found hitting a man from behind to be the best way to go about things. This can sometimes be accomplished by dint of a simple ruse. Classics such as, “What’s that over there?” work surprisingly often, but for truly optimal results it’s best if the person doesn’t even know you were there. – Mark Lawrence

One way people get deceived by Satan is by thinking that sins are on a rating system. Most would admit that sins such as murder or rape are worthy of hellfire, but few will admit that gossip, complaining, gluttony, envy, bitterness,  unsubmissive attitudes towards husbands, etc. are equally worthy of hellfire! Sins are not on a rating system…simply stated, the soul that sins shall die. (see Ezekiel 18:20a) In God’s eyes, there are only two categories of sin…not “big ones” and “little ones”, but rather: the sin that is repented of, and the sin that is loved and continued in. If we continue unrepentantly in sin, even “little” sins like gossiping and complaining, it is a fact that we will inherit hell.

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter of length. – African Proverb

God will not count any sin as small that we refuse to repent of. On the other hand, if you will truly become a Christian…that is, a regenerated child of God that is a new creation…it won’t matter if you were previously a murderer, a rapist, a bank robber, a domestic abuser, a hooker, a meth addict, or any other horrendous sinner for that matter. What will make a difference is what you do from this day forward, because that’s all that any of us can control once the past has come and gone.

I’m afraid we often forget that just because we have been saved does not mean that we are invincible. Consider this powerful truth about a snake in the natural world. Did you know that a snake’s head can still bite and inject venom for some time after having been killed? It is the same way with Satan. When we were baptized into Christ, we in many ways defeated the serpent. Yet he can still bite and inject his venom in us if we are foolish enough to go near unto him.

Rejoice not thou, whole Palestinia, because the rod of him that smote thee is broken: for out of the serpent’s root shall come forth a cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fierce flying serpent. – Isaiah 14:29

In other words, don’t get too comfortable! Do not be so ignorant to think that we can no longer be touched by sin. A fascinating fact about snakes is that they are found on every single continent (except Antarctica). I find this fact to be so fitting – when we are in “Antarctica” – our coldest times – that’s where Satan is the least likely to be present. He is far more likely to show up in our lives in times of sunshine, when everything seems to be going just fine. This is yet another reason to rejoice in times of tribulation, because through the hard times we become closer to God, and Satan shrinks away.

Woe unto you that desire the day of the Lord! to what end is it for you? the day of the Lord is darkness, and not light. As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him. – Amos 5:18-19

• Do you deceive yourself into thinking that your sins are inconsequential at best, and understandable at worst?
• Might you be too confident in your ability to abstain from sin, putting yourself in situations that will only serve to tempt?
• Are you willing to put at stake your eternal life in heaven because “the serpent told me it was okay”?

Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents. – 1 Corinthians 10:9

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All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed. – Richard Adams, Watership Down

As a result of my ophidiophobia, most of my life I have experienced a recurring dream. In the dream I have been in various landscapes, but the theme is always the same…

I am standing on one side of a place, and I want to get to the other side. Yet there is always this dilemma…snakes cover the entire ground in between sides and I only have two choices: stay where I am, or run atop the snakes to get to my destination. In every dream I experience paralyzing fear, and I simply weep because [on one hand] I have to get across, but [on the other hand] I don’t want to touch the snakes. I need to get to the other side so desperately that I begin looking around for anything, anything that will get me across without having to touch them. Yet at this point, I am surrounded with nothing but my own person…ultimately I have no choice but to face my fears. I run as fast as I can, stepping on what seems like hundreds of snakes until I have crossed. By the end of each dream I am safe on the other side, the snakes have gone, and I have not been bitten. I am at peace at last.

Let it be known that I do not put much stock in dreams. In this dispensation, God no longer miraculously sends prophetic dreams to people…His message to us is through His word. With that being said, I believe that my dreams are nothing more than my spiritual mind reminding my fleshly mind what I already have learned from God’s word. The truth of my dreams is this: sometimes we have no choice but to go through harrowing scenes to reach our heavenly destination. We can not be so naive to think that our path will be easy…there will always be snakes along the way trying to distract us and send us on a detour. Even so, we must be brave and overcome the serpent, or ultimately we’re not going to make it to the other side.

Chins up. We need to remember that even though Satan is a powerful enemy, ultimately he will answer to God just like the rest of us. We already know the end of the story for him! The Lord created Satan, and we need to keep in perspective that the serpent is part of the plan…

By his [God’s] spirit he hath garnished the heavens, his hand hath formed the crooked serpent. Lo, these are parts of his ways, but how little a portion is heard of him? but the thunder of his power who can understand? – Job 26:13-14 (clarification added)

In Christ, you and I have power over Satan, his followers and all their wicked devices. It’s up to us to stand firm and face our fears. Satan will inevitably stare at and stalk each one of us at times, yet whether or not he gets the opportunity to strike depends on us. When we truly decide to crush the serpent, even a hundred such beasts can not overtake us. Take heart, for it will all be worth it when we reach our Lord who is standing across the great divide. We will not be shaken or overcome!

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19

And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den. – Isaiah 11:8

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. – Revelation 12:9

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop-now he neared the top-
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

He was almost there when- CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below…which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain’t enough!

– The Little Blue Engine by Shel Silverstein

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This ill-fated tale reminds me of how so many people approach marriage with eagerness and excitement, only to have their “love” ultimately fizzle out and end in divorce. The words “til death do us part” are said so easily, so readily…and yet too often in our world this vow is not taken seriously…and is quickly broken.

Contrary to the words flippantly spoken at the altar, more marriages are dissolved by the devil than by death. Countless couples have allowed Satan to creep into their marriage lives and steal their joy. Why? How is divorce so widespread? Why isn’t love enduring until the end? What happened to make the love of so many “disappear”?

Furthermore, could this happen to you or me?

As christian women, we don’t ever want to find ourselves standing in line at divorce court…we want to have a love that endures through eternity! Each of us would most likely agree, yet words are easily spoken and easily broken. How are we going to make sure that our marriages last?

Today we will embark on a three part journey to see just how you or I might foolishly send our marriage lives down the tubes. Here are three “matrimonial mishaps” we want to make sure to avoid…

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Matrimonial Mishap # 1: Silliness

Many of the problems women face in marriage simply arise from their naiveté. Perhaps we didn’t have a good example set before us as we grew up, and we have a lot to learn about what it takes to be a good wife. Alternately, even if we did have a good example to follow, learning our individual men and how to serve them can be a real challenge at times! Learning a man can take years (less if we take it seriously)…either way it is well worth the time invested.

Now we all have to start somewhere, and we all will naturally be a little silly at first when marriage is new to us. Yet we should not stay silly very long! Every wife needs to make it her utmost priority in marriage to learn her man. Until she properly learns him, she can not properly love him. There are many wives who believe that they love their husband wholeheartedly…yet their husband does not feel loved. How can this be? Here’s the problem…

He is not being loved the way he needs to be loved.

We can not expect to show our husbands love in the way we as women want to be loved. A man’s needs are distinctly different from that of a woman! It is not for us to set out to change our men to fit a feminine mold…that will never work. It is our job to find out how to love our men in the unique and special ways that they desire in their masculinity.

– Do you know what things make your husband happy? If not, today is the day to find out.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. – 2 Timothy 2:15

Pay special attention to the things your husband voices. Men aren’t typically like women in sharing everything that comes to their mind with their spouse! Their words, while generally few, really mean something. Most everything a man says is in some way methodically calculated to reach a desired goal. So think hard…what has your husband been hinting to you? Here are some questions to ask yourself about your man:

-What are his favorite activities?
-What are his favorite meals?
-What kind of movies does he like to watch with you?
-Does he prefer your hair long, or short…up, or down?
-Does he like his woman in dresses, or jeans and a tee-shirt?
-Does he like you to goof off a lot, or be serious most of the time?
-Is he a man who needs some alone time, or does he want you constantly by his side?
-How often does he want to have sex…once a year, three times a day?

Girl, if you don’t easily know the answers to these questions you’ve got some learning to do! Remember this…if you love to learn him, you will learn to love him.

Even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. – Kahlil Gibran (1923)

A man needs a wife who is savvy, not silly.

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Matrimonial Mishap # 2: Selfishness

When women don’t mature from silliness, they will inevitably move into a state of selfishness. It’s just a fact. If we don’t spend our time learning our husband and growing into his dream woman, we will instead grow into an independent, self-made, self-absorbed woman. We don’t want to allow this to happen, for you know what they say about teaching an old dog new tricks…

One of the most basic christian trademarks is a spirit of selflessness and the art of putting others first. How can we lose sight of this when it comes to our husbands whom we are to serve as unto Christ on earth? When I speak with other women about serving their husbands, I am frequently met with this question: “but what about ME?” Honestly, it’s not for us to ask such an irreverent question.  I hate to burst anyone’s 21st century bubble, but the “Me-First” delusion is not of God. I know I weary of this attitude and it’s so much more appalling to our Lord who made women to be servants to their husbands.

When we have moved from silliness to selfishness we have moved past even caring at all about what our husbands want. His words now go in one ear and out the other, for in our lack of love for him we grew more in love with ourselves. When we are selfish it becomes so easy to justify our own behavior by demonizing his.

Every way of a man (or in our case, woman) is right in his own eyes. – Proverbs 12:15a, 21:2a [emphasis mine]

“I know my husband would like to have sex with me every day, but what a dog! Only a sicko would want it that much…he needs to learn to control his urges like *I* do.”

If this is your view of sex, you are looking through the wrong lens – a feminine one! Wake up…you did not marry yourself, you married a MAN. Just because you may not want or need sex certainly does not mean that he doesn’t. He needs sex far more than you can wrap your mind around. Will you not have the common decency to fulfill a hunger that, might I remind you, only YOU can provide for him?

“He likes my hair kept long but I like it short. I felt it was time for a change, so I went to the salon and got it chopped off. I mean, it’s my head, not his! If he likes long hair so much he can grow his own out!”

I hear this attitude a lot…some women feel stifled by their husband’s style so they justify taking matters into their own hands in the name of “it’s my body”, or “it’s my hair”, or “it’s my nails”, or whatever the particular contention may be. Truthfully, we are not our own. We are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord…so would this be our response to God? “It’s my body Lord, stop trying to control me”…how juvenile and dishonoring! Show respect to your husband by styling yourself to his preference.

“I’m tired of him telling me what to do with my money. *I* earned it, so *I* will choose how, where, and when I spend it. He needs to mind his own business.”

If you had a “thus saith the Lord” on how to spend your money, would you heed it? I’m telling you now, you do. When your husband has disallowed you to spend money in a certain way, it doesn’t matter who earned it. Our assets ultimately belong to the Lord, not to ourselves. In the same way, our husbands (as God-ordained rulers over us) gets to have the say on how we spend or save our finances.

These are just a few examples of how our view of our husbands may be skewed by our society. It’s time for us to break away from the dishonoring habits of our culture and instead grasp on to the life the Lord wishes for us to lead. This means in many ways, dying to self.

Maybe you can’t stand the thought of “catering to your husband’s every whim”. Maybe your husband is the biggest jerk in town, and you despise him. I feel so sorry for women who find themselves in this situation, but we must still stand by what the Bible says. A woman who is married to an unkind man will have a heavier cross to bear, but through Christ she can gain the victory.

For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. – Luke 6:32

We are to show love to our husbands at all times, whether or not they have shown us love, or we regard them as “deserving”.

…I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved. – 2 Corinthians 12:15

Did you catch that? “GLADLY be spent for you”…even though the more I love you the less I am loved?? Oh, but if only this were the attitude of every wife, divorce would scarcely be heard of. Instead, we are so selfish much of the time, and that is what gets us in to so much trouble! The carnal world says “do unto others as they have done unto you”, but this is not the way of the Lord’s people. A christian woman will be subdued to her husband even if he is unkind, uncaring, or insensitive. She will do the right thing, because she knows that she must only take accountability for her own behavior, not her husband’s.

If we buckle under the authority of our husbands, surely we will not be able to withstand the firm authority of God. We must learn how to be completely subdued under our husband’s hand, or we will never learn to be subdued to Christ.

When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve. – Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms (1929)

A man needs a wife who is serving, not selfish.

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Matrimonial Mishap # 3: Spitefulness

There are women who are naïve about their husband’s needs. There are women who are indifferent about their husband’s needs. Even more shameful than these are the women who are hateful and vindictive about their husband’s needs.

When Love is suppressed Hate takes its place. – Havelock Elliss (1937)

Men [and women] are more prone to revenge injuries than to requite kindnesses. – Thomas Fuller (1732)

Sadly, many times when a wife neglects her husband, it results in him falling out of love and/or finding a new flame. Now I do not commend this, but I am not here to preach to husbands. I am here to help wives to do their part in preventing such events. Each of us can only do our best in marriage and the other spouse has to take responsibility for their own actions.

When a woman has turned a blind eye to her husband’s needs for so long, she will come to completely resent him and forget why she married him in the first place. That silly young wife who did not study her husband and learn how to please him will become more and more selfish until one day she is a spiteful, bitter old nag bent on “getting even” with her friend-turned-enemy. Satan will not neglect to use this bitterness to rip apart a marriage.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. – Romans 12:19

We must remember that we are one with our spouse, so the shots we fire at our husbands will certainly do us harm as well. When we isolate ourselves from our husbands and play childish games we are not so much hurting him as we are hurting ourselves.

A man [or woman] that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well. – Francis Bacon (1625)

It is folly to punish your neighbor by fire when you live next door. – Publilius Syrus (1st C. B.C. 910)

If we say we love our husbands but harbor spitefulness in our hearts, we are kidding ourselves. In the words of the classic Led Zeppelin hit “Stairway to Heaven”, let each of us endeavor “to be a rock, and not to roll.” We are going to experience hardship in our marriages, it’s true. Yet because of our Lord, we can find the strength to carry on. That’s what love does best.

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown,
Although his height be taken.

– William Shakespeare

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it… – Song of Solomon 8:7a

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. – Peter Ustinov (1958)

A man needs a wife who is sympathetic, not spiteful.

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Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? – Romans 8:35

Remember, the way we honor our husbands is a direct reflection of our honor for God. Try putting your husband in this verse, as husbands are to be to wives as Christ in the flesh:

What will separate me from my husband? Will hard times, depression, arguments, financial hardship, lack of material items, frustrating moments, or divorce separate me from him? Say it with me, a resounding NO! None of these things will separate me from my husband…he is the love of my life, my leader, my king. I will not be moved by silliness, selfishness, or spitefulness. I will follow my husband all the days of my life!

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it. – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1963)

The course of true love never did run smooth. – William Shakespeare

For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.