Destress the Damsel


This morning came a man to me, his smile was wonderful to see,
He shook my hand and doffed his hat then promptly took a chair;
Said he, ‘I read your stuff each day, and I have just dropped in to say
You have a line of humor that delightful is and rare.
My dear wife reads it through and through, my aunts and uncles like it, too,
The little children cry for it when they get out of bed,
Your column’s full of common sense, your childhood verses are immense,
The equal of them, I am sure I’ve never, never read.

‘Now, you’re a man of great renown, your name is known in every town
From Boston unto ‘Frisco, from Atlanta to Duluth;
I’ve met some of our famous men, I wish to grasp your hand again;
Don’t think I flatter you, O no, I’m telling you the truth.’
I let him once more take my hand, the while I felt my chest expand,
My head began to bulge until I couldn’t wear my hat;
‘Ah me,’ I sighed, ‘ through all my days, I’ve never heard such words of praise,
I wish I knew a hundred men who’d talk to me like that.’

‘And now,’ said he, ‘ere I forget, I want to show a Balzac set
That Jolliers have printed just especially for you;
There are but twenty-six of these, observe this small prospectus, please,
This is the finest work that any publisher can do.
For you we make this sacrifice, just sixty dollars is the price,
Five dollars down and three a month—you will not miss the ‘mon.”
I signed away my salary. Henceforth, when men come praising me
I’m going to grab my hat and coat and exit on the run.

– “The Cost of Praise” by Edgar Albert Guest

“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”…and so the old adage goes. Though our narrator, a small-fry author, came out wiser in the end, he was “fooled once” when he allowed a sweet-talking salesman to compliment him right out of his hard-earned money. The author’s “bulging head” completely blinded him to the fact that he was being flattered, cheated, swindled, and bamboozled; it completely blinded him to the fact that he had become the unwitting, unfortunate victim of the sweet-talking salesman’s Pretentious Praise.

The word “pretentious” is primarily used to describe an arrogant, snobby individual. I ask you to lay aside that definition of “pretentious” for the remainder of this article, as we are instead going to be using the secondary definition of the word. See, pretension does not always speak of arrogance, but simply being full of pretense. To put it in layman’s terms, a pretentious person of this ilk is a pretender; disingenuous; someone with ulterior motives (like the salesman in our poem). It’s obvious that the salesman wasn’t complimenting the author out of a place of genuine admiration for his work, but only because he wanted to butter up a potential client. He was using a clever ruse in an effort to make a buck. His true desire was not to compliment but to cash out.

While most of us are unlikely to be taking up the role of a charlatan and tricking people into buying our wares, we must nevertheless be cautious not to give out Pretentious Praise in any way, shape, or form. Compliments Become Complicated when they are filled with false pretenses instead of heartfelt admiration. In today’s article, we are going to unveil the four types of women who give out Pretentious Praise (many times without even realizing they are doing so). By learning about these four types of women, we will be able to squash these toxic patterns within ourselves, and ensure we are not guilty of complicating our compliments.

Pretentious Praiser #1:


It is pretentious to praise someone with the ulterior motive of bragging about oneself. Boasting always makes for complicated compliments. Need help identifying The Boaster? She’s the kind of gal who says things like…

“Wow, your home is so clean and tidy. Good for you! You must be Type A, like I am. I can’t stand messy spaces. It’s good to see that there are some in the younger generation who take homemaking seriously.”

“You’re such a kind and respectful wife. That’s a rare trait in a woman! Whenever my dearly departed husband would tell me to jump, I’d ask him, ‘how high?’ Your husband is a lucky man for sure…just like my man was.”

“You have 4 children? What a busy little mother you must be! I know that my 5 always kept me on my toes. Of course, when you love kids as much as I do, it’s really no sacrifice. Raising them was a joy and a privilege.”

Complimenting another woman on her manor, marriage, and motherhood is a wonderful thing to do. Yet Compliments Become Complicated when we play the part of The Boaster. When we deliver a compliment that’s served with a side of boasting, it draws attention away from the person we are trying to compliment, and directs the spotlight onto ourselves. Instead of our praise being about her manor, her marriage, and her motherhood, it becomes about “me, myself, and I”. You might think, “I am simply being conversational. Why can’t I reveal a little bit about myself? I’m only trying to relate with her…point out what we have in common.” There are a few problems with this line of thinking. The first problem, like I mentioned previously, is that it diminishes what should have been her compliment by shifting the spotlight to you. The second problem is that comparing yourself to someone while you’re complimenting her is, indirectly, complimenting yourself. The third problem is that we are robbing the other person of the right to make her own conclusions about us…we are telling her who we are, rather than showing her who we are. The bottom line? Boasting is wrong.

The next time you wish to compliment someone, make sure to keep your praises solely about them. Ask yourself: why do I feel the need to boast? Do I want to reveal information about myself? Let the other person make that call. If they are interested in hearing more about you, they will ask. Do I want to foster a connection with someone? Let them make that call. Any logical person will be able to recognize if you and they are of a similar nature, for a genuine compliment implies shared values. Do I want to be admired? Let them make that call. The praise others give you will always be so much more meaningful than self-praise.

Don’t play the part of The Boaster. Let’s only give genuine compliments to others, not Pretentious Praise.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. – Proverbs 27:2

The person who sings his own praises is probably a soloist. – Unknown

Pretentious Praiser #2:


It is pretentious to praise someone with the ulterior motive of insulting someone else in the room. Roasting always makes for complicated compliments. Need help identifying The Roaster? She’s the kind of gal who says things like…

“Wow, you are such a big help! It’s too bad there aren’t more people around here with a heart for service.”

“You’re so friendly and outgoing! Not at all like those backward, fly-on-the-wall types who never speak.”

“Your children are so well-behaved! It’s a shame how some parents let their kids run around wild in public.”

Complimenting another woman on her principles, personality, and parenting is a wonderful thing to do. Yet Compliments Become Complicated when we play the part of The Roaster. When we deliver a compliment that’s served with a side of roasting, we do a disservice both to the person being complimented and to the person being insulted. 1.) We hurt the person being complimented because we are using her as a subtle (or maybe not-so-subtle) means to pick on someone else. Not only does a disingenuous compliment take away from her rightful glory, but it might even make her an object of envy and disdain in the eyes of the one she has been contrasted with. (“What makes her so perfect?” the insulted person might bitterly ask themselves.) The “complimented” is pulled into a fight that is not her own. What an uncomfortable and awkward position to put somebody in! 2.) We hurt the person being insulted because we are taking cheap shots at them. Not only is it petty and insensitive to insult someone in such a round-about way, but actually cruel and merciless… because we are not providing them with a proper platform to defend themselves. Insults are pitiful excuses for “rebukes” – if such catty behavior could even be described that way. A godly rebuke is one that is discreet and direct. Only a coward attacks someone indiscreetly and indirectly, going for the jugular with a ruthless “roast”!

The next time you wish to compliment someone, make sure to keep your praises solely about them. Ask yourself: why do I feel the need to roast? Am I unsteady about my view of this person? Gotta let it go. Chalk it up as a misconception, believe the best about her, and move on. Am I unwilling to address the matter in private? Gotta let it go. Take the proper channels for rebuke, or if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Am I taking revenge? Gotta let it go. Turn the other cheek, give it to God, and forgive her.

Don’t play the part of The Roaster. Let’s only give genuine compliments to others, not Pretentious Praise.

From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. – James 3:10

You must not pay a person a compliment, and then straightway follow it with a criticism. – Mark Twain

Pretentious Praiser #3:


It is pretentious to praise someone with the ulterior motive of getting praised in return. Taking always makes for complicated compliments. Need help identifying The Taker? She’s the kind of gal who says things like…

“Wow, your style is so cute! I dig that outfit,” with a significant pause, inviting a compliment about her outfit.

“These cookies are delicious! Your treats are the best,” with an expectant smile, as you test her baked goods.

“I feel such a connection with you! You’re my best friend,” with a big hug, welcoming you to respond in kind.

Complimenting another woman on her fashion, food, and fellowship is a wonderful thing to do. Yet Compliments Become Complicated when we play the part of The Taker. When we deliver a compliment that’s served with a side of taking, we aren’t truly admiring the other person for themselves…but only for what we can get out of them. If we give compliments in an effort to “fish for compliments“, it reveals low self-esteem. Desperate, attention-seeking energy won’t win friends! People don’t enjoy being in the presence of a “pick-me” girl (someone who lacks confidence in herself and is constantly seeking external validation from others). This is the hard truth of the matter: if you compliment people just to get complimented back, any “return” compliments you receive are likely to be from a place of sympathy rather than sincerity. On the other side of the coin, maybe you are being cornered by The Taker. How do you handle that scenario? Here’s my technique: make it your custom to never robotically return a compliment to anyone (unless you genuinely feel the same way about the other person) and instead choose to respond with gratitude and/or a different compliment. Instead of responding “you too!” to every compliment you’re given, try pointing out something unique that you genuinely like about the other person. (I.E. If she says, “cute shirt!”, you might say, “cute shoes!” If you don’t like her shirt, it’s not fair to say that you do just to be “nice”. Identify something you do like, or simply give back a heartfelt “thank you” and determine to pay her a sincere compliment on a future occasion.)

The next time you wish to compliment someone, make sure to keep your praises solely about them. Ask yourself: why do I feel the need to take? Is it because I am insecure about myself? Hold your head up. Focus on personal growth, which will build your confidence, and soon you won’t obsess so much about the opinions of others. Is it because I need to know what people think of me? Hold your head up. Don’t micromanage, allow others to “keep their own counsel” if they so choose, and assume they like you more than you know. Is it because I crave an emotional boost? Hold your head up. Find your fulfillment in Christ, take joy in the little things, and make it your mission to boost others rather than expect them to boost you. Your turn will come.

Don’t play the part of The Taker. Let’s only give genuine compliments to others, not Pretentious Praise.

And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, in order to receive back the same amount. – Luke 6:34

Take time to compliment people every day. Do it sincerely and with no desire to gain anything but a smile in return. – Robert Cheeke

Pretentious Praiser #4:


It is pretentious to praise someone with the ulterior motive of over-exaggerating their attributes. Faking always makes for complicated compliments. Need help identifying The Faker? She’s the kind of gal who says things like…

“Wow, you are the most breathtakingly gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen! You should go into modeling.”

“You are mindbogglingly brilliant! Doesn’t that huge brain weigh you down? Save some for the rest of us!”

“You have the makings of an all-star athlete. No seriously, have you signed up for the Olympics yet?!”

Complimenting another woman on her appearance, acumen, and athleticism is a wonderful thing to do. Yet Compliments Become Complicated when we play the part of The Faker. When we deliver a compliment that’s served with a side of faking, we are harming the recipient by encouraging them to nurture a false view of themselves. It might make them feel good in the moment to believe that they’re “the best of the best”, but dishonest feedback doesn’t do anyone any favors in the long run. Compliments only mean something when they are well-deserved. Over-the-top praises should be reserved for over-the-top exceptionalism! If every woman is breathtakingly gorgeous, where does that leave Angelina Jolie? If every woman is mindbogglingly brilliant, where does that leave Marie Curie? If every woman is an all-star athlete, where does that leave Venus and Serena Williams? If “everyone” is the best, then it stands to reason that no one is the best. In Disney Pixar’s animated film, The Incredibles, Mr. Incredible noted that “they keep creating more ways to celebrate mediocrity.” His observation was surprisingly insightful. We don’t need more proponents of the “everyone gets a prize” mentality. When mediocrity is celebrated, people naturally stop improving. If “good enough” is good enough, why would anyone bother to strive for the exceptional? We ought to compliment people in a way that is both honoring and honest. Also, better is a bit of constructive criticism than a sugar-coated praise.

The next time you wish to compliment someone, make sure to keep your praises solely about them. Ask yourself: why do I feel the need to fake? Am I sucking up to this person? Try a different approach. Give her a compliment that is ultra specific and refreshingly free of clichés. Am I latching on to a potential I see, rather than a reality? Try a different approach. Rather than acting as if she has already “arrived”, tell her about the potential you see and encourage her to continue honing her abilities. Am I trying to get others to esteem this person as much as I do? Try a different approach. People will be much more impressed by who she is than who you say she is…let her strengths speak for themselves, and be modest and realistic when praising her.

Don’t play the part of The Faker. Let’s only give genuine compliments to others, not Pretentious Praise.

They speak falsehood to one another; with flattering lips and with a double heart they speak . – Psalm 12:2

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. – Charles Dickens

In conclusion…

Complimenting others is a wonderful thing to do. Yet there are right and wrong ways to pay compliments.

When you pay a compliment, don’t play the part of The Boaster. Make sure you’re shining the spotlight on the person being complimented…not on yourself. Don’t play the part of The Roaster. Make sure you’re not using the person being complimented in an effort to poke at someone else. Don’t play the part of The Taker. Make sure you’re not using the person being complimented in an effort to fish for return compliments. Don’t play the part of The Faker. Make sure you’re being realistic about the person being complimented…not trying to make them feel good about qualities they don’t actually possess. Compliments Become Complicated when we give out Pretentious Praise, for such fruitless “compliments are only lies in court clothes.” – John Sterling

On the other hand…

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. – Proverbs 25:11

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

There was once an old sailor my grandfather knew
Who had so many things which he wanted to do
That, whenever he thought it was time to begin,
He couldn’t because of the state he was in.

He was shipwrecked, and lived on an island for weeks,

And he wanted a hat,

and he wanted some breeks;

And he wanted some nets, or a line and some hooks
For the turtles and things which you read of in books.

And, thinking of this, he remembered a thing
Which he wanted (for water) and that was a spring;
And he thought that to talk to he’d look for, and keep
(If he found it) a goat, or some chickens and sheep.

Then, because of the weather, he wanted a hut
With a door (to come in by) which opened and shut
(With a jerk, which was useful if snakes were about),
And a very strong lock to keep savages out.

He began on the fish-hooks, and when he’d begun
He decided he couldn’t because of the sun.

So he knew what he ought to begin with, and that
Was to find, or to make, a large sun-stopping hat.

He was making the hat with some leaves from a tree,
When he thought, “I’m as hot as a body can be,
And I’ve nothing to take for my terrible thirst;
So I’ll look for a spring, and I’ll look for it first.”

Then he thought as he started, “Oh, dear and oh, dear!
I’ll be lonely tomorrow with nobody here!”
So he made in his note-book a couple of notes:
“I must first find some chickens”

and “No, I mean goats.”

He had just seen a goat (which he knew by the shape)
When he thought, “But I must have a boat for escape.

But a boat means a sail, which means needles and thread;
So I’d better sit down and make needles instead.”
​

He began on a needle, but thought as he worked,
That, if this was an island where savages lurked,
Sitting safe in his hut he’d have nothing to fear,
Whereas now they might suddenly breathe in his ear!

So he thought of his hut . . . and he thought of his boat,
And his hat and his breeks, and his chickens and goat,
And the hooks (for his food) and the spring (for his thirst) . . .
But he never could think which he ought to do first.
​

And so in the end he did nothing at all,
But basked on the shingle wrapped up in a shawl.
And I think it was dreadful the way he behaved—
He did nothing but basking until he was saved!

– “The Old Sailor”, Now We Are Six by A.A. Milne
(Source: https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Now_We_Are_Six/The_Old_Sailor)

What does an old sailor have in common with a snail? According to A.A. Milne’s charming poem, slowness in the extreme. While our fictional sailor was incredibly quick on the dreaming and the planning, he was also incredibly slow on the realizing and the doing. No matter how good his intentions, he never saw those good intentions materialize. “He did nothing but basking until he was saved!” That old sailor was a procrastinator.

There is a comical saying I have seen on many tee-shirts and social media memes. It goes something like this: “Procrastinators Unite! (Tomorrow)” I have “borrowed” this phrase for the title of this month’s blog. In a mere three words, it both pokes fun at and captures the sad reality of procrastination. While we all procrastinate to a degree, and certainly not all procrastination is an evil in and of itself, chronic procrastination is the enemy of productivity. The chronic procrastinator will always put off what she ought to do in favor of what she would rather do. In contrast, the felicitous homemaker faithfully sees all her duties through from beginning to end.

Snails were created to be slow, but as humans made in the image of God, what is our excuse to procrastinate? (Certainly you realize that I speak not of the infirm, but only of those in sound physical and mental condition.) Damsels are not to be like that old sailor and “do nothing but basking until we are saved“. We are designed to lead lives of productivity…motivated by love of God and others, grounded in self-discipline and self-denial. So, how do we stomp out procrastination in our lives? In Procrastinators Unite! (Tomorrow) we are going to look into the three primary reasons people procrastinate. By identifying the root causes of our procrastinating tendencies, we will be able to send procrastination packing before he even comes knocking at our door.

The first cause of procrastination is…

I have spent many days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung. – Rabindranath Tagore

If this quote doesn’t resonate with you, go ahead and stop reading right now, because you clearly don’t have a procrastinating bone in your body. (I’m only joking…please don’t go!) In all seriousness, I’m sure each of us can relate to Mr. Tagore’s wise observation. If one were to add up all the hours of their life wasted on account of distraction, the result would be staggering. “Many days” would surely only scratch the surface of time lost.

Distraction can sneak up on us in a variety of ways (most of which are not harmful, outside of the fact that they are distracting us from what is needful in the moment). Distraction might sneak up on us in the form of entertainment. Television shows, movies, smartphone apps, video games, etc. can easily suck away days of our lives if we’re not vigilant. Distraction might sneak up on us in the form of communication. Phone calls, text messages, social media sites, emails, etc. can steal valuable time from other needful pursuits. Distraction might sneak up on us in the form of workloads. The newly-added responsibility, the once-in-a-while errand, the to-be-solved problem, etc. can demand so much of our focus that our regular duties fall by the wayside.

(Apart from outside sources that distract, such as entertainment, communication, and workloads, our mental state can undoubtedly be a distraction. If we are stressed, anxious, depressed, etc. it can greatly hamper our ability to focus on the things we need to be doing. However, such troubles extend past the scope of this month’s article. In order to avoid being glib, I will only be addressing the physical aspect of distraction today.)

The simplest way to conquer a distraction is by simply removing it until your duties are either completed or you have reached an allotted break time. Flip the television off until it’s time to kick back and relax. Put the phone in another room until you need to use it. Schedule the errand on a day you’re already out and about. Now, sometimes there will be unexpected things that demand our immediate attention (i.e. your husband is needing to discuss plans with you, your child fell off their bike and cut their knee, your neighbor is knocking at the door, your pet soiled the carpet, etc.) We must always be flexible in such cases and see to pressing needs. However, many distractions are not pressing needs at all, but merely excuses to procrastinate. The worker at home cannot afford to chase after every little distraction, lest her career of homemaking suffer greatly for it.

Consider that the opposite of distraction is traction. While distraction pushes us away from our goals, traction pushes us toward our goals. In his February 2022 article for Psychology Today, Nir Eyal penned: “if you find yourself doing what you planned, that’s traction. Anything else is a distraction.” He also pointed out that in order to gain traction, we must implement forethought and focus. Forethought helps us to make plans, while focus prevents us from unintentionally thwarting our own plans. First, decide what tasks you’re going to accomplish each day, and then do them with a present state of mind. Are you folding laundry? Focus on folding laundry. Are you washing dishes? Focus on washing dishes. Are you sweeping the floor? Focus on sweeping the floor. As much as possible, give your full attention to the job at hand. You’ll finish all the faster!

Ready to send procrastination packing? It’s time we address our proclivity for distraction.

He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, but he who pursues vain things lacks sense. – Proverbs 12:11

The second cause of procrastination is…

The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not. – Aldous Huxley (author of Brave New World)

There is an English proverb that says, “One of these days is none of these days.” The Spanish have a similar proverb that goes like this: “The Road of By and By leads to the Town of Never.” When we feel disinclined to perform a task, it’s easy to find every excuse in the book not to begin in the first place. And whether we live in America, England, Spain, or Timbuktu, we should recognize that the delay of a task is often the death of that task. What we never start, we certainly never finish. What we never finish can have unfortunate consequences.

Disinclination can be a result of depleted healthiness…our soma feels disinclined. When we don’t nourish our bodies and get the rest we need, we don’t have the physical vigor to carry out our responsibilities. Disinclination can be a result of depleted happiness…our soul feels disinclined. When we don’t foster a love for homemaking and find pleasure therein, we don’t have the emotional vigor to carry out our responsibilities. Disinclination can be a result of depleted holiness…our spirit feels disinclined. When we don’t overcome laziness and cultivate a godly work ethic, we don’t have the spiritual vigor to carry out our responsibilities.

Whether our healthiness, happiness, or holiness is depleted…the simplest way to defeat disinclination is by completely embracing and embodying the identity of a housewife. You simply have to ask yourself: “what would a housewife do?” Would a housewife eat junk food and stay up too late on a regular basis, knowing that her household will inevitably suffer the consequences of her not functioning at 100 percent? Would a housewife regard her duties as dull and unfulfilling, knowing that she is the beautiful heart of the home? Would a housewife laze about and squander her precious time, knowing that she has been called to service?

Consider that the opposite of disinclination is inclination. When we are inclined to do something, it is as if our very nature cannot do otherwise. This is why “owning” the identity of housewife is so significant. When we make it a point to see ourselves as housewives, homemaking becomes more than simply performing a task…it becomes a vital part of who we are. Destress the Damsel is a testament to this power of perspective. Admittedly, there are days when I don’t feel like working on my blog. “Ugh, I have to write today.” But when I remind myself, “I am a writer“, it makes all the difference. What do writers do? They write! With this mindset, I no longer see writing as a chore to begrudgingly cross off the list, but as a natural outpouring of the kind of person I am…a writer. This perspective shift works well in many areas of life. Instead of, “Ugh, I have to help my husband“, try saying to yourself: “I’m a helpmeet“. Instead of, “Ugh, I have to mother my child“, try saying: “I’m a mother“. Instead of, “Ugh, I have to cook“, try: “I’m a cook“. Writers write, helpmeets help, mothers mother, and cooks cook. We act in accordance with our identity. So, don’t just be a housewife, see a housewife! And love housewifery. As they say, “love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

Ready to send procrastination packing? It’s time we address our proclivity for disinclination.

I passed by the field of the sluggard, and by the vineyard of the man lacking sense, and behold, it was completely overgrown with thistles, its surface was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. When I saw, I reflected upon it; I looked, and received instruction. “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,” then your poverty will come as a robber, and your want like an armed man. – Proverbs 24:30-34

The third cause of procrastination is…

When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. – Seneca (8 BC-AD 65)

Some days we are motivated to get lots of work done. We have the traction, we have the inclination…but, we haven’t the foggiest idea of where to begin. When we stop to consider the weight of all the responsibilities before us, we completely shut down on account of not having a game plan. “I have a hundred things to do, but which thing should I do first?” we might lament. The longer we spend thinking about our workload, the more hopeless it seems…and pretty soon we have wasted a good chunk of our day in a state of indecision.

Disorientation usually stems from being overwhelmed. We might feel we have too much to do, and too little time to do it, so we take the “all or nothing” approach. Instead of settling for taking a bite out of the elephant, we sit on our hands and do nothing at all. An old boss of mine once said, “slow progress is better than no progress.” This is great advice. Even a measly 1% done is still 1% better than 0% done! Think about it: if you made 1% progress per day, you could knock out any task in 100 days. If you were to put in 0% effort toward a task over 100 days, the time would still pass, but with nothing to show for it. Baby steps are so underrated.

If you don’t know where to begin, there are many ways to order your tasks. You can go from “easiest to hardest” or “quickest to longest”, in an effort to just get moving. You can go from “hardest to easiest” or “longest to quickest”, in an effort to flow with your energy. There’s no “right answer”, and the order you choose might vary depending on the day. Just don’t overthink it. Better to start somewhere than to end your day regretting all that wasted time spent trying to decide on “the perfect order” for your chore list. One word of caution, though: don’t forget to take time sensitive tasks into consideration, or you’ll get yourself stuck in a standstill. (i.e. if you leave laundry as the very last thing on your list, you will be twiddling your thumbs while waiting on the washer and dryer. If you put laundry in first, you can swap out loads in between other chores.)

Consider that the opposite of disorientation is orientation. When we are “oriented”, we are facing in the right direction. Yet, as we already established, knowing the right direction is typically our hangup. This is where we need to buckle down and get SMART. Businesses often use this acronym when brainstorming goals. A good business goal has to be – Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time bound – SMART! If a goal fails to meet any of these five standards, out the window it goes. I propose that the same five standards should apply to our goals as workers at home. To make sure your homemaking goals are SMART, ask yourself the five W’s: Who exactly is going to do the task? (That’s actionable) What exactly is the task? (That’s specific) When exactly will the task be finished? (That’s time bound) Where exactly will the task leave us? (That’s measurable) Why is the task important to me? (That’s realistic) Hey, we all know it’s better to work SMARTer than to work harder.

Ready to send procrastination packing? It’s time we address our proclivity for disorientation.

A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out. – Proverbs 20:5

In conclusion…

Procrastination is the Thief of Time. – Edward Young, Night Thoughts (1742-46)

Damsels, don’t let distraction, disinclination, or disorientation rob you of your days. Let’s not follow in the footsteps of that old, snail-like sailor and “do nothing but basking until we are saved.” Rather, may each and every homemaker bless hearth and home with her traction, inclination, and orientation. Procrastinators, Unite…

Today!

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. – Ephesians 5:15-16

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.