– “The Other Fellow” by Edgar Albert Guest
“The grass is always greener on the other side“…we all know this popular phrase. In a nutshell, it means that from your side of the fence (i.e. your perspective), it always appears that your neighbor’s grass is greener (i.e. his life is better than yours). Edgar Albert Guest captured this concept well in his poem, “The Other Fellow”…he points out that even though we might have “jelly on the belly” for our neighbor’s supposed good fortune, our neighbor is likely looking across the fence at us thinking the same thing that we are of him. You might say that we all tend to think “the grass is always greener for the other guy”…
What does it mean to you when I say the word, “covet“? I think that when most of us think of covetousness, we think of the coveting of material items. We might think of someone lusting and longing after another’s spouse, car, home, furnishings, etc. and wishing these things for their own. Coveting is a sin that seems so far removed, because the majority of us do not struggle with coveting in the sense that we are pining for others’ possessions. However, there is a very dangerous version of covetousness that most of us do engage in from time to time. It is often referred to as “Grass is Greener Syndrome”. This “sickness” (spiritually speaking, of course) is this age-old idea that the other fellow is better off than we are. We may not covet another man’s stuff, but we feel justified to covet his station and status. We might think, “He/she really has it made. It’s just not fair that everything always goes right for him/her, and here I am left in a cloud of dust. I wish I could have just an ounce of that kind of ease.” Let us not deceive ourselves, coveting is coveting – whether we covet a man’s loot, his lot, or his luck. It shows us to be selfish and ungrateful for our own blessings.
Do you ever find yourself feeling like The Grass is Always Greener for the Other Guy? If so, I have compiled three tips by which we can kick that negative thinking to the curb. If ever you are tempted to covet another person’s circumstances, you must…
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. – Ecclesiastes 9:11
My dear friend and sister in Christ, Pat, often says, “we all take our turn.” That is exactly what the verse above is saying. We ought not to covet after those who appear to have more speed, strength, wisdom, understanding, skills, etc. than we do, for each and every one of us will have our time to shine. We all experience highs and lows, and you can wager that no matter how good “the other guy” seems to have it, he has his own unique set of problems that we don’t see on the surface.
That guy who has his gorgeous house paid off? Perhaps he’s working 60 hours a week just to scrape by and pay off his massive property tax. Maybe his wife and kids just wish that Daddy could spend more time at home instead of at the office. That lady who always brings the perfectly decorated cupcakes to the neighborhood fundraiser? Perhaps she botched up her first batch and then spent a half hour stewing over it while her kids avoided “poking the bear”. That man who has the most beautiful wife hanging on his arm? Perhaps at home she nags him mercilessly..berating him and critiquing his every move. That popular girl who draws the attention of every Tom, Dick, & Harry? Perhaps she cries in her room at night just wishing she could find her dream guy that isn’t so shallow and worldly.
Let’s face it, it’s highly unlikely that the small glimpse we see into another’s public life reveals their whole story. Before we are so quick to say “the grass is greener for the other guy”, let us wager his lows.
…He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. – Matthew 5:45b
If ever you are tempted to covet another person’s circumstances, you must…
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. – Hebrews 13:5
Now, let’s look at the other side of the coin. Let’s say you are right…the grass really is greener for the other guy. He has zero problems, a life of total ease, and everything he could possibly want. Now what? Would such a situation justify coveting? Absolutely not, because in so doing, we will have forgotten that God is the author of our blessings. To covet after another man’s lot is to wipe away the providential lot we have been given, and to selfishly reach for more than the Lord has allowed us to obtain presently.
Coveting is based on this faulty idea that we deserve to have someone else’s blessings. Yet, if we are being honest with ourselves, we will realize that we really don’t deserve anything in life. The difficult truth is this: the only thing we sinners “deserve” is Hell. If we have found salvation in Jesus Christ, we already have far more than what we deserve. When we stop looking at what we don’t have and start looking at what we do have – the amazing promise that God will never leave or forsake those who are committed to Him – we will count ourselves very blessed indeed. When covetous thoughts creep in, we need to whisper God’s love to ourselves and be reminded of how much we truly have from Him and in Him.
Furthermore, we need to whisper to ourselves of God’s love for “the other guy”. After all, is he not also a child of the Most High? Would we be so self-centered as to wish to deprive him of his God-given blessings? Rather, we are called to have true joy for the successes of others. Before we are so quick to say, “the grass is always greener for the other guy”, let us whisper God’s love.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice… – Romans 12:15a
If ever you are tempted to covet another person’s circumstances, you must…
And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door… – Genesis 4:6-7a
There is an anonymous phrase I see floating around on social media from time to time. It says something to this effect: “You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you would take the time to water your own grass, it would be just as green.” There are times where our “grass” (our life circumstance) becomes brown and lifeless, and it is entirely of our own doing. We may recognize that others seem to have it more together than we do, because, well…they do! Sometimes the successes of others can be wake-up calls for areas that need great improvement in our lives. It can be very painful to realize our shortcomings, but these realizations can provide much growth if we let them.
If we see someone that has a great deal more Bible knowledge than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should recognize that we are lagging behind in our own study and need to spend more time in God’s word. If we see someone who has a more glorious and loving marriage than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should try to emulate their example by molding more perfectly into the God-given roles for husbands and wives. If we see someone who has more well-behaved and respectful children than we do, we might be tempted to covet. Instead, we should get more serious about our own call to train up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Coveting is the lazy man’s way out of taking responsibility. It’s easy to blame our poor circumstances on sheer luck, when it may in fact be our own imperfections that are getting in the way of the more abundant life we could be living. Before we are so quick to say, “the grass is always greener for the other guy”, let us water our lawn.
Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. – 1 Corinthians 9:24
In conclusion…
If ever you should find yourself overtaken by “Grass is Greener Syndrome”, call to mind these three covet-curbing tricks:
Wager His Lows
Whisper God’s Love
Water Your Lawn
And instead of focusing on the other fellow’s yard, remember what great things God is doing for yours…
“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…” – Psalm 23:2a
For God’s Glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks
Mrs. Dustin Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.
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