How doth the little busy Bee
Improve each shining Hour,
And gather Honey all the day
From every opening Flower!
How skillfully she builds her Cell!
How neat she spreads the Wax!
And labours hard to store it well
With the sweet Food she makes.
In works of Labour or of Skill
I would be busy too:
For Satan finds some Mischief still
For idle Hands to do.

In Books, or Work, or healthful Play
Let my first Years be past,
That I may give for every Day
Some good Account at last.

– “Against Idleness and Mischief” by Isaac Watts

Idleness and mischief – the two go hand in hand. And both are held in the hands of a busybody. In his poem, Isaac Watts presents the perfect solution for the tendency to idleness and mischief: we must follow in the example of the “little busy bee” and set ourselves to a productive lifestyle. The Bible presents much the same solution for idleness…

For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now we command and exhort such persons in the Lord Jesus Christ to work peacefully and eat their own bread. – 2 Thessalonians 3:11-12 (emphasis added)

Read: get to work! Ironically, the cure for being a busybody is being a busy body – or in other words, keeping your body busy. Paul expounds on this cure with specific directions for women:

At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also they become gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, have children, manage their households, and give the enemy no opportunity for reproach. – 1 Timothy 5:13-14 (emphasis added)

What does Paul cite as the cure for idleness and mischief? Homemaking! A woman can learn to be an idle, gossiping busybody, or she can learn to focus on her family. She can learn to be a worker at home. (Titus 2:4-5)

My goal today is to help you learn to be a worker at home. I am going to teach you how to be a “busy body” in 8 simple steps. Step #1 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by beautifying the home.

• She beautifies the home by purifying it. A portion of her time is devoted to cleaning activities; such as wiping counters, sweeping/mopping floors, tending to dishes and laundry, etc.

• She beautifies the home by decorating it. A portion of her time is devoted to cultivating style; such as art, plants, collections, etc. (Keeping ever before her mind her husband’s tastes and desires)

• She beautifies the home by warming it. A portion of her time is devoted to creating ambience; such as pleasant fragrances, mood lighting, and agreeable temperature.

Making a home a beautiful haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Beautify! Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house… – Psalm 128:3a

How to be a Busy Body Step #2 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by organizing the home.

• She organizes the home by minimalism. She avoids excessive buying, so that there is never an over-abundance of items to be organized. She buys intentionally rather than impulsively.

• She organizes the home by tidying. She doesn’t take the path of least resistance and hodgepodge the family belongings into every nook and cranny. Her motto is “a place for everything, and everything in its place”.

• She organizes the home by consistency. She keeps items picked up throughout the day so that the piles don’t become insurmountable tasks. She doesn’t merely organize once in a great while, but keeps a workable system of good habits for herself and the children.

Making a home an organized haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Organize! …What woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? – Luke 15:8

How to be a Busy Body Step #3 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by decluttering the home.

• She declutters the home by giving away items her family no longer uses. She is generous, and pleased to find someone who can put the items to good use. When the garment no longer fits, or the toy is outgrown, or the book has past its purpose…she considers it a blessing to pass it on for another family’s enjoyment.

• She declutters the home by selling off items her family no longer uses. She is shrewd in adding to her husband’s income by recovering some of the money on gently used belongings. She might sell items online, take them to a local consignment shop, or host a garage sale.

• She declutters the home by throwing out items her family no longer uses. She knows the difference between healthy sentimentality and hoarding, and is not afraid to throw out anything that is not worthy of giving away or selling. She is okay with letting go.

Making a home a decluttered haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Declutter! A time to search and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away. – Ecclesiastes 3:6

How to be a Busy Body Step #4 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by bringing yield to the home.

• She yields for the home with her culinary skills. She cooks and bakes delicious and nutritious foods for her family to enjoy. She is pleased to see others enjoy the fruit of her kitchen labors.

• She yields for the home with her crafting skills. She dabbles perhaps in needlework (sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc.), or art (drawing, painting, etc.), or music (singing, playing an instrument, etc.). She is pleased to see others enjoy the fruit of her creative labors.

• She yields for the home with her composition skills. She maybe writes a thank you note, or pops a birthday card in the mail, or sends a suggestive text to her husband. She is pleased to see others enjoy the fruit of her conversational labors.

Making a home a yielding haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Yield! Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:31

How to be a Busy Body Step #5 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by beatifying the home. (Beatify = sanctify, hallow, consecrate)

• She beatifies the home by acknowledging God’s will for her as a woman. She does not consider being a wife, mother, and homemaker an antiquated or oppressive role in society. She humbly accepts the differences between men and women as God-ordained and therefore intrinsically good.

• She beatifies the home by submitting to God’s will for her as a woman. She is obedient to her husband, nurturing to her children, and committed to the home. She is firmly planted in her femininity.

• She beatifies the home by growing in God’s will for her as a woman. She strives every day to be a better wife, a better mom, a better homemaker. She is not content with the mediocre, but is on a perpetual level-up journey.

Making a home a beatified haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Beatify! The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. – Proverbs 14:1

How to be a Busy Body Step #6 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by unplugging the home.

• She unplugs the home by minimizing her social media usage. She is too invested in her own family responsibilities to be concerned about keeping up with the Joneses. She is aware that too much social media can open the door to jealousy, comparisons, covetousness, etc. and is watchful of her feminine temptations.

• She unplugs the home by minimizing her telephone calls. She will not go house-to-house as a busybody, even through the air waves. She is aware that too many telephone calls can open the door to gossip, slander, foolish talk, etc. and is watchful of her feminine temptations.

• She unplugs the home by minimizing her social visits. She knows she can not rightly be a “keeper at home” when her feet do not abide at home. She knows that too many social visits can open the door to familial neglect, discontentment, unhealthy relationships, etc. and is watchful of her feminine temptations.

Making a home an unplugged haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Unplug! …Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you. – 1 Thessalonians 4:11

How to be a Busy Body Step #7 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by scheduling the home.

• She schedules the home in a timely manner. She makes good use of planners, phone reminders, or timers to keep herself on task and make sure her home priorities are done at appointed times. She does not make a habit of procrastination, but is faithful to her duties.

• She schedules the home in a realistic manner. She is not rigid and inflexible, but makes allowances for unexpected hiccups that prevent work from being done. She adjusts to special circumstances, but does not use them as excuses for laziness.

• She schedules the home in a balanced manner. She evenly distributes tasks throughout the week to prevent burnout. She delegates age-appropriate tasks to the children to both ease her burden and give them training in their own work ethics.

Making a home a scheduled haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Schedule! Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. – Colossians 3:23-24

How to be a Busy Body Step #8 is to…

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A good homemaker keeps her body busy by yearning for the home.

• She yearns for the home because she loves her husband. She makes love to her man, she finds ways to please him, she shows preference for him, etc. She not only knows her place as a wife, but she loves her place as a wife.

• She yearns for the home because she loves her children. She trains them, she builds them up with words of encouragement, she exercises patience towards them, etc. She not only knows her place as a mother, but she loves her place as a mother.

• She yearns for the home because she loves her home. She makes it a clean place, a cozy place, a caring place, etc. She not only knows her place in the home, but she loves her place in the home.

Making a home a yearned for haven of rest for one’s family is a worthwhile pursuit…and it will certainly keep a body busy.

Yearn! So that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children…workers at home… – excerpt from Titus 2:4-5

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In conclusion…

If you want to learn how to be a busy body, remember to:

Beautify
Organize
Declutter
Yield
Beatify
Unplug
Schedule
Yearn

Keep your B.O.D.Y. B.U.S.Y. with these 8 steps, and you’ll be a busy body in no time…in fact, you’ll be so invested in your own home that you’ll simply have no time to be a busybody!

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. – Proverbs 31:27

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

O be careful little eyes what you see
O be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
So, be careful little eyes what you see

And so begins the popular children’s song. It goes on to give these exhortations:

O be careful little ears what you hear…
O be careful little tongue what you say…
O be careful little hands what you do…
O be careful little feet where you go…
O be careful little heart whom you trust…
O be careful little mind what you think…

Though the childish tune may not be a chart-topping hit, the simple message of this song is as relevant to the 30 year old woman as it is to the 3 year old girl. Keeping a pure heart is a lifelong pursuit.

Did you notice the pattern the song follows?

• The first two stanzas warn us to be careful what we see and hear – to consider our observations.

• The next three stanzas warn us to be careful what we say, what we do, and where we go – to consider our actions.

• The second to the last stanza warns us to be careful whom we trust – to consider our devotions.

• The last stanza warns us to be careful what we think – to consider our perceptions.

The author of this song wisely noted that our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions. If we want to have positive perceptions, devotions, and actions, then it stands to reason that we must be shrewd in our observations. We must be diligent to avoid seeing and hearing things that are unfit for the eyes and ears of pure ladies. One way to accomplish this is by having “remote control”. That is, by being intentional about the content we view on our televisions.

The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! – Matthew 5:22-23

[Now, if you are a married woman, then your husband is the head of your home. I urge you to defer to his film choices. If his taste is for impure entertainment, I suggest a) sitting beside him while occupying your mind with another activity such as needlework or a book; b) respectfully asking to be excused from the room for the duration of the show; or c) making an appeal for different content in a spirit of meekness. Submit to him as unto the Lord.]

In our home, my husband has given me the task of selecting films for our weekly family movie nights. This means that I have a responsibility to select quality content for our family of four, which includes our two teenage sons. Will I be a wise woman and build up my home through pure film choices? Or will I be a foolish woman who tears down my home by poor film choices? It all comes down to my remote control.

There are several websites out there that review movies from a spiritual perspective, allowing you to vet the content of a movie before (or, in lieu of) viewing it. I often use www.pluggedin.com, as they are quite thorough with their reviews, and their movie lists are extensive. With their cut-and-dry approach, I am able to assess fairly quickly whether or not a movie is suitable for our family.

What do I look for to test a movie’s suitability? Today, I want to share with you three questions I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins. I ask myself:

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The word “rude” is defined as follows: something offensively impolite or ill-mannered. Synonyms include ungentlemanly, unladylike, uncivil, discourteous, and audacious.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out rude behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: bathroom “humor”, crude language, mockery of ethnic/religious groups, etc.

Rude behavior does not necessarily always equate with immoral behavior, but it certainly straddles the line and should make us pause to consider the wisdom of viewing such a film. A movie may be lawful to view, but is it profitable? (1 Corinthians 6:12) Is it filling our family’s minds up with true, honorable, pure, lovely, reputable, excellent, or praiseworthy thoughts? (Philippians 4:8) Opinions on what does or does not constitute as rude will vary from family to family, so I will merely offer some questions you might ask yourself to gauge the rudeness of a film:

• If I wouldn’t participate in the behavior airing from our television screen, should our family be watching it?
  

• If I would scold my child for participating in the behavior airing from our television screen, should our family be watching it?

• If I would be ashamed to serve as the actor participating in the behavior airing from our television screen, should our family be watching it?

• If I feel pricked in my conscience when seeing the behavior airing from our television screen, should our family be watching it?

• If I would blush to have the Lord observe the behavior airing from our television screen, should our family be watching it?

These questions may serve as a guide to choosing more quality content. Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe rude behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in rude ways, devote ourselves to rude people, and perceive the world in a rude way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it rude?

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. – Proverbs 13:20

We do not want anyone in our family to keep company with fools, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

Another question I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins is this:

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The word “lewd” is defined as follows: something crude and offensive in a sexual way. Synonyms include indecent, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, and explicit.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out lewd behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: seductive conduct, sensual kissing, and sexual acts.

Lewd behavior can be highly enticing, no matter one’s spiritual convictions – especially to the male gender. Men are wired (by God) to respond to visual stimulus, which is why pornography never has and never will go out of style. Those in the movie industry are well aware of man’s temptation to lust, and play on this by sprinkling sensuality into just about every movie that hits the box office. Lewdness may have no effect on you as a female…and if you are a good wife who keeps her man on empty, it may have little to no effect on your husband…but I implore you above all to think of your sons when selecting films that may include lewd content. Young men are without an outlet, having no spouse to fulfill their budding desires. Observing lewdness will only serve to stoke fires that have no way of being put out. Help your son to flee youthful lusts by setting only clean movies before him – this is one of the best kindnesses you can offer him and potentially, his future wife.

Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe lewd behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in lewd ways, devote ourselves to lewd people, and perceive the world in a lewd way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it lewd?

You have heard that it was said, ‘you shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. – Matthew 5:27-29

We do not want anyone in our family to lust after someone they are not married to, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

Another question I ask myself before a family movie enters our home and beams its message into our noggins is this:

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The word “booed” is defined as follows: something accompanied with contempt or disapproval. Synonyms include decried, disdained, reviled, censured, and condemned.

Plugged In does a fantastic job at pointing out booed behavior in movies. This may include, but is not limited to: lying, violence, and disregard for authority.

Booed behavior is any conduct explicitly denounced in scripture…and Hollywood is rife with such. Long gone are the good old days where the majority of movies had a moral message: protagonist does wrong, protagonist learns the error of their ways, protagonist changes for the better. (Did I just accidentally provide the synopsis for A Christmas Carol?) Nowadays, protagonists in most films sin, get away with it, and go on to sin some more while inviting others to do the same.

It’s easy to get desensitized to movie sins when…

Lies are portrayed as protection. Gory violence is portrayed as self-defense. Disregard for authority is portrayed as bravery. Homosexuality is portrayed as love. Stealing is portrayed as borrowing. The list goes on…anything is portrayed as justifiable as long as we are rooting for the character doing it. But the question is, should we be rooting for a character who is in opposition to God’s ways? Should we applaud what the Lord boos?

Remember: our observations become our actions, our actions become our devotions, and our devotions become our perceptions…so let us be careful what we observe. If we willingly observe booed behavior, it is likely that we will begin to act in booed ways, devote ourselves to booed people, and perceive the world in a booed way. Before you select your next family flick, stop and ask yourself: is it booed?

Being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. – Romans 1:29-32 (emphasis added)

We do not want anyone in our family to give hearty approval to evildoers, real or fictional. Therefore, I will exercise remote control.

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In conclusion…

When selecting family films, I encourage you to put each movie through this vetting process:

• Is it rude?

• Is it lewd?

• Is it booed?

If it is rude, lewd, or booed, then why is it being viewed? Ask yourself: “do I control my remote, or does my remote control me?” I believe we all could do well to improve our sense of remote control.

I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not fasten its grip on me. – Psalm 101:2b-3

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.

Fear not the whirlwind will carry you hence,
Nor wait for its onslaught in breathless suspense,
Nor shrink from the blight of the terrible hail,
But pass through the edge to the heart of the gale,
For there is a shelter, sunlighted and warm,
And Faith sees her God through the eye of the storm.

The passionate tempest with rush and wild roar
And threatenings of evil may beat on the shore,
The waves may be mountains, the fields battle plains,
And the earth be immersed in a deluge of rains,
Yet, the soul, stayed on God, may sing bravely its psalm,
For the heart of the storm is the center of calm.

Let hope be not quenched in the blackness of night,
Though the cyclone a while may have blotted the light,
For behind the great darkness the stars ever shine,
And the light of God’s heavens, His love will make thine,
Let no gloom dim your eyes, but uplift them on high
To the face of your God and the blue of His sky.

The storm is your shelter from danger and sin,
And God Himself takes you for safety within;
The tempest with Him passes into deep calm,
And the roar of the winds is the sounds of a psalm.
Be glad and serene when the tempest clouds form;
God smiles on His child in the eye of the storm.

– Anonymous

You’re probably familiar with the term “eye of the storm”. Sometimes, in the middle of a fierce and powerful tropical cyclone, a natural phenomenon occurs in which calm weather is found in the middle of the storm…this tranquil region is called the “eye”.

Many of us will never encounter a tropical cyclone (especially those of us who live in the heart of the American Midwest), but we will encounter many “storms” in life just the same. Of course I am not referring to natural disasters, but emotional disasters…not catastrophic to the planet, but nonetheless quite catastrophic for its inhabitants.

There are myriads of emotional storms that can hit in life: dissolved friendships, distant marriages, deteriorating careers, and the list goes on. Today, I want to focus on one specific type of storm that is familiar to parents the world over: the storm of teenage emotions. Ask any parent of teenagers, and they will likely tell you that they have been through their share of storms while navigating through the teen years with their child. There’s a reason there are so many stereotypes about the “moody teenager”…because adolescents have a whole lot of emotions, and not a lot of practice managing them. They want parents less than ever, but in many ways they need them more than ever. The teenage years can be a tough season for the whole family, but they can be lived through gracefully with a little prep and a lot of patience.

Are you a mother of teens, or will be in the future? Let me give you some perspective about the storms that your teenager will inevitably send your way, and help you to be the” eye of the storm” that your son or daughter needs you to be. In order to be a safe space for your kiddo (and keep your own sanity) there are three things you need to understand about storms. The first thing you need to understand about storms is that:

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Out of the south comes the storm, and out of the north the cold. – Job 37:9

Storms occur in various locations all across the globe. When a storm arises, it is never isolated to one individual. Rather, its effects are usually felt by most or all people in that locale…a collective disaster.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not personal:

• Likely, you are not failing as a mother.

• Probably, your teen’s attitude is a reflection of his/her inability to cope with their newfound feelings.

• Assuredly, you are not the only mom who has suddenly become the object of her teen’s disdain.

Once you take an objective look at your teen and stop making their storm about you, your eyes will be open to their needs…and allow you to get to the root of the problem.

• Is your teen storming because he/she woke up on the wrong side of the bed? It’s not personal…you’ve got an attitude problem on your hands. Train your teen to get his mind off of himself, and on to others. Service and selfishness can not long dwell in the same bosom. Lead by example with your own cheerful disposition. The world says, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”…but the Christian lady turns frowns upside down. A wise mother invokes gladness in the home by her merry influence.

• Is your teen storming because he/she wishes to be independent? It’s not personal…you’ve got an authority problem on your hands. Re-evaluate his liberties as he grows, but don’t compromise family standards. A teenager, in the eyes of God and the law, is under the authority of his parents until adulthood (no matter how much he may balk at this fact). Impress upon your teen that independence is right around the corner, but in the meantime he is to obey Dad and Mom.

• Is your teen storming because he/she wants what “all their friends have”? It’s not personal…you’ve got a discontentment problem on your hands. Help your teen to focus on all that he does have, rather than that which he does not. Counting one’s blessings is not an archaic concept, but a worthy practice. You might have him write out all the many ways in which he is blessed, from the food on his table to the clothes on his back. It will be hard for him to argue with the facts.

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not personal. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

The second thing you need to understand about storms is that:

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Do you not fear me? declares the Lord. Do you not tremble in my presence? For I have placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, an eternal decree, so it cannot cross over it. Though the waves toss, yet they cannot prevail; though they roar, yet they cannot cross over it. – Jeremiah 5:22

Storms have boundaries. No storm wreaks its havoc upon the whole earth (with the notable exception of the flood in Noah’s day, of course). Travel far enough, and a storm will make way for sunny skies.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not permissible:

• You, as a parent, have both a right and a responsibility to set boundaries for your teen’s behavior.

• You owe it to your teen, yourself, and others, to stand as a shelter when storms do flare up.

• Your teen’s negativity can not permeate your soul and destroy your tranquility unless you let it.

Once you realize that you are capable of both handling and containing your teen’s storms, your eyes will be open to expect and accept the storm…and meet it head on without surprise but with a game plan.

• What will you do when your teen speaks disrespectfully to you? You can get personally offended. You can revile back. You can throw your hands up and let it keep happening. Or, you can calmly and firmly assert that disrespect is not permissible. Don’t get mad, don’t get even, don’t give up. Use the power of the Word of God to convict your teen of the need for parental respect. Give him examples of appropriate ways that he may express his opinions to you in the future. Then let his previous coarse speech go in one ear and out the other, so no root of bitterness grows in your spirit towards your teenager.

• What will you do when your teen acts disobediently towards you? You can get personally offended. You can revile back. You can throw your hands up and let it keep happening. Or, you can calmly and firmly assert that disobedience is not permissible. Don’t get mad, don’t get even, don’t give up. Show your teen, from a scriptural viewpoint, why his behavior is a detriment to his spirit and/or harms others. If his disobedience is towards a personal family standard as opposed to a moral wrong, train him to make an appeal to Dad and Mom about whatever it is he wishes to do in the future…and that he must accept “yes” or “no” with equal humility. Then let his previous misbehavior be forgiven and forgotten, as you will receive the same mercy from the Lord that you grant your teenager.

• What will you do when your teen acts distastefully towards you? You can get personally offended. You can revile back. You can throw your hands up and let it keep happening. Or, you can calmly and firmly assert that distastefulness is not permissible. Don’t get mad, don’t get even, don’t give up. Familiarize your teen with examples of both wise and foolish people in the Bible (Proverbs is a great place to start!) and ask him to decide for himself which camp would more likely applaud his inappropriate actions. Lay down your expectations of the gentlemanly manner he will compose himself with in the future. Then let his previous crudeness be washed from your psyche, that your view not be tainted against your teenager.

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not permissible. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

The third thing you need to understand about storms is that:

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O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and your foundations I will lay in sapphires. Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, and your gates of crystal, and your entire wall of precious stones. All your sons will be taught of the Lord; and the well-being of your sons will be great. – Isaiah 54:11-13

Storms are temporary. No doubt they can cause a lot of damage, but they never last forever. Eventually the rain stops pouring, the wind stops blowing, and all is still.

When your teen’s emotions are whipping up a storm, know that it is not perpetual:

• Your teen will more than likely mellow out the farther away he/she gets from puberty.

• Your teen’s time in the home is a relatively short 5-7 years.

• Your empty nest will one day serve as a restful reward from your labors.

Once you realize that the rough spot you are going through with your teen is only a short season, your eyes will be open to the finish line…and allow you to run the remainder of the course with diligence.

• Does your teen’s sulking and sourness seem to be a continual state of affairs? Remind yourself that it’s not perpetual…the blues will pass. It is probable that your teen will mature in his emotions as he ages. But what if he doesn’t? What if your teen chooses to be down in the dumps as an adult? Listen…you have a few short years left to train your teenager to cultivate a positive attitude, but after that, the choice is his. Whether or not he chooses to live out the values that you impressed upon him while he resided under your roof, you can rest easy knowing that you made every attempt to instill and emulate positivity. One day, the sulking and sourness you are dealing with daily will be only a memory. If not for him, for you!

• Does your teen’s back-talking and boundary-testing seem like it will never end? Remind yourself that it’s not perpetual…the strife will pass. It is probable that your teen will mature in his actions as he ages. But what if he doesn’t? What if your teen chooses to answer to no one as an adult? You have a little while longer to train your teenager to develop a due respect for authority, but after that, the choice is his. Whether or not he chooses to live out the values that you impressed upon him while he resided under your roof, you can rest easy knowing that you made every attempt to instill and emulate deference. One day, the back-talking and boundary-testing you are dealing with daily will be only a memory. If not for him, for you!

• Does your teen’s moaning and mumbling seem to drone on and on? Remind yourself that it’s not perpetual…the angst will pass. It is probable that your teen will mature in his gratitude as he ages. But what if he doesn’t? What if your teen chooses to feel entitled as an adult? You have a small window in which to train your teenager to grow a heart of contentment, but after that, the choice is his. Whether or not he chooses to live out the values that you impressed upon him while he resided under your roof, you can rest easy knowing that you made every attempt to instill and emulate thankfulness. One day, the moaning and mumbling you are dealing with daily will be only a memory. If not for him, for you!

Remember: your teen’s stormy behavior is not perpetual. Be the eye of the storm, the calm in the chaos.

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In conclusion…

A question every mother of teens ought to ask herself is this: “Will I be picked up and carried off by my teenager’s emotional torrents? Or will I be the eye of the storm that my son/daughter needs?“

We all know what our answer should be, but are we up to the challenge? In order to be the eye of the storm in your teenager’s life, you must understand and remember three things about storms:

• They are not personal. Remember that your teen’s storm is not about you.

• They are not permissible. Remember that your teen’s storm has boundaries.

• They are not perpetual. Remember that your teen’s storm will not last forever.

Be the eye of your teen’s storm. Be the calm in the chaos. The power of Christ in you will enable you to say to your teenager’s storm, “peace, be still”.

And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. – Matthew 7:25

For God’s glory,
Mrs. Dustin Bolks

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Chaste Bolks is a church of Christ preacher’s wife, and the home educating mother of two children. She and her family currently reside in Northwest Iowa.